Lack of close friendships

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>My frustration with this issue has deepened. I’ve been looking inside, pondering every day for some answer. I’m not really expecting miracles to happen, but I really am in search for progress. In college, I feel that I am lacking close relationships. It has bothered me since the beginning of this school year – I am a junior, and all of my friends have graduated. I've been delaying this post for so long, because I've been working to try to improve. It hasn't improved one bit. I talk to people in each of my classes now and am getting chill with the people I work with in my research program. I’d also like to note that I am a commuter student, which means that I go to my classes, and I try to hang around either my work, gym, or the library. However, it just doesn’t seem to be working so well for my happiness. I don’t know why it seems so difficult now. I used to eat lunch with people every day, but we never really branched out. Now, I have learned to branch out and expand my relationships with other people, but I have a lot of acquaintainships. I don’t really understand how people become friends past this, especially in a class setting, where the common basis is just the class, and studying for the class.</p>

<p>I have become deeply frustrated with this, and I am fighting hard to just get out of this rut. Every day, I eat lunch by myself, and since I commute, I eat dinner with family, and while I appreciate my family a lot, I sometimes wish I could eat dinner with a small group of friends (4-5 people), just like I did in high school, except for, that was lunch. I literally have only one close connection, and I am getting tired of experiencing college this way. The rest of my connections are random people from club activities, previous classes, current classes, but we are not close friends at all.</p>

<p>My college is predominantly a dorming school, meaning that people do not commute here. I’m seeking genuine relationships, and not just people I can hang out with for lunch every day. Anyone feel the same way sometimes?</p>

<p>My sister also went through college, but even less friends for her. She’s way more introverted than me – I’m just a normal introvert. The way my family is just pure introvertedness. We have the same patterns of what we do, and the routine is just sort of saddening to me sometimes. I have discussed this with my family, but I have never discussed my dissatisfaction about my social life, because I don’t even know how to begin.</p>

<p>My only friends who know about this are my closest friends from high school. I'm too ashamed.</p>

<p>Luckily, I am enjoying what I am studying, which is Biology, and I’m immensely thankful for that. My grades could be better though. I just wish I could concentrate more, because it’s hard concentrating with this issue. I’m certain that my grades would improve with a better social life.</p>

<p>I was just hoping that things improve... and taking action. I talk to a lot of people, but just need more close friendships. I see other people around me, having a lot of fun, going out to eat every day basically, and I just wish I could do that more often. Not sure if it’s me or what the issue is.</p>

2

<p>You need to place yourself in positions where you meet new people. Try clubs, jobs, go to public places all the time, tutor. You also need to force yourself to talk to people. Ask random people random things like what the time is, how much something costs at the store, when the next bus arrives.</p>

3

<p>I have the issue, it really depends on where you go to school and how you put yourself out</p>

4

<p>Keep putting yourself out there. I didn’t start making decent friendships till my second year, and I’d say I only started making “good” friends the summer after that year and into this third year.</p>