<p>Relaxing (: the beach is great. text me <333</p>
<p>Layinngg by the pooool; taannning (: texxxt</p>
<p>Layinngg out on the beach (: texxtt me!</p>
<p>Yeah, pretty much any status saying “I’m doing ____ TEXT ME”</p>
<p>falsely profound song lyrics r horrible</p>
<p>I saw this one last night and didn’t really know what to think:
“Justed Got Home From The Old Port Where I Seen Someone So Drunk They Pulled There Pants Down In Front Of A Coppie The Girl And Was So Hot I Wish I Could Of Got Her Number But She Was So Drunk… I am Wish I Could Have Stayed To Seee The Out Come But I Could Not The Cops Told Everone To Leave I Got Out Fast!!!”</p>
<p>“going to grandpa’s funeral. 
tExT iT!”</p>
<p>I HATE “I’m bored” statuses. IF YOU’RE SO BORED, GET OFF FACEBOOK AND GET A LIFE.
-bored. text.</p>
<p>I alsooo hateee when peopleee adddd unnecessaryyy lettersss to the endddd of their wordssss. I know onee girlll who can’ttt possiblyyyy writeee a sentenceeee withoutttt addingggg a tonnn of letterssss to the endddd.
-going over emilyyyyy’s laterrr :)))))</p>
<p>I also am annoyed by all of the mushy love statuses girls make that are made out to some mystery guy who probably doesn’t know them or doesn’t like them back. I’m a girl myself and I think it’s ridiculous and not romantic. The same goes for all the fan pages that say stuff like “You’ve changed my life so much over this past year, and you don’t even know it” or “Every time I see you I smile inside 
<3<3”
-if only you knew how much you mean to me <3<3<3 (:</p>
<p>I aLs0 caN’T stAnD Wh3n pE0plE uSe hAlF cApS/nUmBErs wHeN Th3Y tYPe. ThE rEAdINg v0icE iN My hEaD sOUnDs aLL weIrD wHeN I tRy to REaD thOSE stAtUses.</p>
<p>I like song quotes, I hate when everyone uses the same ones as facebook statuses. Find an original song that has real meaning in your life. If I see another “Airplanes” or “Your Love is my Drug” quote, I will jump off a bridge. Especially when they are mushy love songs dedicated to some mystery guy.</p>
<p>And the WORST possible facebook status would be a mushy overused song lyric made out to a mystery guy with bad spelling, multiple letters, and a “bored, text” at the end.
-bc UR <3, uR <3, uR <3, iS MY drUggg (:<3 boreddd, texttt <3</p>
<p>
I lawled</p>
<p>upon scrolling through my news feed:</p>
<p>" i hate drama…but i always end up in the middle of it!~!*"</p>
<p>“can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars i could really use a wish right now”</p>
<p>“weezy f babyyyyy<3”</p>
<p>“ganna get crazzy 2nite…hit up the cell/txt itt♥”</p>
<p>“last night was cuhrazy, gonna do it again tonight!<3 luv mi girls” (i saw her at walmart that night with her mom)</p>
<p>“tanning bed! ughh i’m so pale” (orange)</p>
<p>“rumors are the most annoying and immature things ever!!! if your gonna talk about someone dont start a rumor say it to their face!!! people in this town need to grow up or leave!” <- completely true if she wasn’t the biggest slut here. lol</p>
<p>“if u can’t handle me at my worst, u don’t deserve me at my best”</p>
<p>Joe Smith’s friends, as wonderful as they normally are, can still manage to seriously annoy him every once in a while.
Someone commented on this and said: fear not joe. the feeling is mutual.</p>
<p>I have literally had 5 different friends post “Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now.” And I’m like shut up, your life is perfect.</p>
<p>Edit: just went through these and noticed how many other people have this problem!</p>
<p>I guess I’m not the only one annoyed by this. If you think Facebook stats are bad, check out Twitter.</p>
<p>I like the ones where people tell you EXACTLY what they are doing every minute of the day. For real, NOBODY CARES.
ie. —> work 12-4, then chillin w/ mike, then party 2nite at 7:30 wooho!"</p>
<p>k NOBODY CARES.</p>
<p>i really don’t understand all these people who post statuses where they are all trying to act profound and deep and as if we all can read their minds</p>
<p>"Something small and brown rolls onto the table.
Kelly: what is that, Elaine?
Sarah: it’s a chocolate raisin, i swear!
Kelly: prove it!</p>
<p>…Haha (: good times!"</p>
<p>“dear my lifeee,
um heyy jst wantd to let u knoww tht u suckk. u boree me to the maxx and i dislikee u
(w/ a passion) sheesh … can u be lik mor spontaneous and entertainingg?? tht would be great…if not, thnn can i get a refund pls and thnk-u”</p>
<p>"filipino mangoes are better than mexican mangoes. "</p>
<p>“how about this?,…Ima do mee and ima let you do you.”
__</p>
<p>“om fruitin god!!! Justin bieber is following me!! Im not kiddin check it its not fake im screamin hrd best dy of my life”</p>
<p>“I hate when people ask me whether i am Team Edward or Team Jacob. Fools dont you know I am Team Justin Bieber 
”</p>
<p>“I got the Justin Bieber Magazine ahaha Im so happy Best day ever”</p>
<p>“Just Keep Beliebin! :)”</p>
<p>“Its gonna be World War III when JUSTIN BIEBER gets a girlfriend!”</p>
<p>she is clearly not a justin bieber fan.
she always likes her own statuses, of which no one replies to either.</p>
<p>__</p>
<p>one person’s statuses:
no one ever replies to them… all she ever does is complain, attempt to make witty and supposedly funny remarks, obsess over k-pop, and post statuses about every little thing she does</p>
<p>“some people have no common sense -<em>-”
" my tummy hurts T.T"
“I REALLY want the repackaged SJ album DD: I can jst ask mommy for my birthday :D”
" ^</em><strong><em>^ "
“Last minute english homework for summmer school.”
“GUESS WHO HAS EYELIDS NOWW! xD”
"Summer School tomorrow . -</em></strong>___<em>-"
" I CAN DO THIS! :D"
“Sam Tsui <33 Hellllo husband :D”
“Fun day todaay! :D”
“YOU MAKE ME TINGLE, TINGLE~” <– this has got to be the lamest one
" I dont even talk to you anymore and you’re so annoying. i don’t know how you keep doing it. Maybe it’s jst your face (:"
“MY NAME IS NOT MERVIN.” <– ***?
“tumblr works again! ”
“i wish i was as pretty as kevin woo :3”
“Guesss who got a Big Bang calendar ?! :DDD”
“HAPPPPY BIRTHDAY BB ” <– BB = Big Bang
“I hate photoshop. with a damn passion .”
“■■■■■. going that far when no one wants to even see you. harharhar”
“Bio final tomorrow, not ready. Yay -</em>-”
“Some people need to ****.”
etc.</p>
<p>the funniest one i’ve seen by farrrr:</p>
<p>“people are so stoopid.”</p>
<p>omg perfect storm: lame lyrics + confused parent.</p>
<p>Lamebook.com</p>
<p>failbook.com</p>
<p>have fun</p>
<p>Seeing mindless status updates is one of the reasons I left Facebook. Unlike what others said in another thread, it is possible to maintain friendships without using the social networks.</p>
<p>“sleep. chillin with the best tomoroww♥”
“i aint trippin on nothin ` im sippin on somethin & my homegirlll say she got a bad ***** for me & im singleeeee - yeahh im singleee =p”
“Last minute packingg:)”
“wants to get the **** out of johns creek.”
“- you can only love once, so make it last forever. <|3 ;”
“Making pasta! :)”
" I North Carolina!!! :)"
“god damn i love lil mama cause she always on deck for the drama.”
“- haha, that sounds like a personal problem to me ; then again, idc.”
“IS SOOO TAN! ahh i love this”
“Just got home from work”
“no one likes me, i have no real friends, and i’m a *****… happy?”
“my hair was getting so long, but its getting too hot, gotta cut it … i could eat a whole watermelon right now btw : ) yum”
“its dipsetttttt”
“if you can’t tone it, tan it !”</p>
<p>haaaha i’m so tired i just laughed my ass off at some of those^</p>
<p><em>sigh</em> i will certainly post a few lol</p>
<ol>
<li>“sittinqq on my porch . its feels better than it did earlier . text mee :)”</li>
<li>“Bored on Oovoo”</li>
<li>“little kid: so did u like the roller coaster?
me: hell yaeh it was awsome! did u?
little kid: F%$& NO! I was scared the entire time! Im bout to hav some explosive diarrhea
xD kids these days man…”</li>
<li> “i got so many std’s they cancel eachother out lol”</li>
<li> “I have silicone boobies”</li>
<li>“I cant understand! how a person can ride anotha man so hard nd den get mad wen u acknowledge dere their meat riding skills smh” <– umm wthh? </li>
<li> “Yo can ugliness be considered a handicap?” yes he was serious</li>
<li>" -just got up eattim breakfast.den shower gettin dressed & off 2 dha cuszo justina house.! she just said BREAKFAST black people dnt do dhat lmaoo she a mess. hmu" no one ever replies to her -__-</li>
</ol>
<p>and the list goes on…</p>
<p>“Eclipse was a great movie! But who’s gonna go see BREAKING DAWN with me? (best movie ever…well book)”</p>
<p>“considering gettin my nipple pierced.”</p>
<p>“i feel the lizzie mcguire booty shake comin on…”</p>
<p>“I c yu on yo bummy swagg!”</p>
<p>mannn the rest of 'em are really normal. I HATE lyric ones. Or any ones about where you’re going. I pretty much hate statuses, period.</p>