Last essay before January 26th, please?

<p>Thanks. This one was off the online course.</p>

<p>Assignment: Are bad choices and good choices equally likely to have negative consequences?</p>

<p>My essay:</p>

<p>In life, we are often forced to make influential decisions. Our choices dictate our futures, and the outcome can be good or bad. Sometimes, people make choices that seem reasonable at the time but lead to unpleasant situations none-the-less. Good and bad choices truly are equally likely to have negative consequences, and this fact is buttressed by literature, history, and personal experience. </p>

<p>In William Golding’s novel, Lord of the Flies, several boys are stranded on an island. One child comes up with the brilliant idea of lighting a rescue fire. The fire, which is at the top of a mountain, is to help pilots see the island. The pilots would realize that the boys are on the island, so they could be saved. This seemingly reasonable idea did, however, have negative consequences. The boys, at one point, were unable to control the raging fire, and it spread into the forests, swallowing a young boy. Despite the fact that it was a good idea, the fire led to a negative consequence.</p>

<p>History also reveals the fact that good ideas can turn into bad ones. In World War II, the Japanese decided to attack Pearl Harbor. Tojo and the Japanese truly felt this attack was a magnificent plan. It did, however, have an execrable outcome for Japan. The U.S. entered the war and began dominating in Europe. Japan soon lost the war, and it became the site of the first nuclear attack. Large regions of Japan were desicrated, and Japan was never the same. The Japanese thought attacking Pearl Harbor would be beneficial, but in the end, it had only deleterious effects. </p>

<p>My life has also shown me the abundance of negative consequences. On the day before an exam, my friend woke up early and studied for eight hours straight. His parents told him to take a break to go play with his friends. He agreed, so he left for a friend’s house. This was a very reasonable act, because he knew he shouldn’t study for too much time. The next day, however, my friend failed his test. While at his friend’s house, he had become ill and, therefore, was unable to concentrate during the exam. A reasonable act led to a negative outcome. </p>

<p>It is impossible to predict negative consequences. Literature, history, and experience al reveal that good choices can lead to negative outcomes. Bad choices and good choices are, in fact, equally likely to have negative consequences. </p>

<p>thank you (score out of 12)</p>

<p>come on, anything helps. Please?</p>

<p>Nice essay! great vocab (buttressed, deleterious etc..). Adequate number of examples+ great organization.</p>

<p>However, you could have ended with more of a "Bang" at the end of the essay. Considering I had a 11 writing a similar essay (3 not in depth examples but strong organization), I give it an 11. With a stronger conclusion, I could maybe get a 12 (yours sound a bit repetitive, obvious and identical to your intro)</p>

<p>thanks! anybody else have any ideas to make it better? </p>

<p>and I really don't want to influence anybody's score, but online gave it a... </p>

<p>12</p>

<p>how much of an effect will spelling "desecrated" wrong have?</p>

<p>Almost none</p>

<p>good luck on your test</p>

<p>Thank You!</p>