Hi, I’m a senior hoping to major in engineering. With only a day or so left before the May 1st deadline, I’ve managed to narrow down my list to two schools, but I can’t seem to choose between them.
College A is my state flagship, a school I’ve wanted to go to for years. Though it’s only ranked in the top 50, I love the spirited/party environment, it’s only a couple hours away from home, and a majority of my friends will be attending. They gave me an okay financial package, but I would have to work and live pretty cheaply to get by. The main downside here is the lack of prestige, and given the choice of College B, I’m worried I would be closing doors by going here. Though it sounds like a fun time now, I’m also unsure about whether I want to be around the same people as high school for another four years.
College B is a very prestigious out of state school that I honestly never expected to get into. It’s ranked in the top 10 or 20 in nearly every program and is well known throughout the country. On top of that, I was offered enough aid that money would not be a concern. However, it is very far from home, in a climate I’m not used to, and has a much more serious and competitive vibe. I struggle with depression and anxiety and am not sure I would adjust well to such a drastic change. On the other hand, college is all about breaking out of your comfort zone, and maybe I would enjoy a new environment.
I’m torn. I worked very hard in high school and feel like going to College A (when I had the option of B) would be a waste of all my efforts, but at the same time, I don’t think I’m mature enough to succeed in such a competitive school while also adjusting to a new state and trying to make new friends. College B is the logical route, but College A is what seems safe. Any advice?
College A is more expensive; are you okay with having to scrape a little to get by? How are they in your desired major? Overall ranking isn’t everything. I also wouldn’t count on all of your high school friends-when you get there, everyone starts making new friends; you’ll hang out, but you won’t see each other all the time.
Did college B seem like somewhere you could get used to? Making friends as a freshman is pretty easy; you’re typically in all-freshman dorms, and your RA will organize freshman events to help everyone bond. How far away is far away from home"?
Which one is cheaper? Your descriptions make it sound like School B is cheaper, and if thats the case, I’d say it’s your best bet. If School A is cheaper, write out a pro and cons list, or even flip a coin to gauge your feelings.
It sounds like College B is probably the right choice, but that you don’t quite feel it is the right time for you to make that choice and move so far from home. It’s hard to tell, of course, whether that is a product of maturity or a product of last-minute jitters about making this big decision. If you think about choosing College B and deferring for a year (to take a gap year, stay at home and get a job, go abroad and have an adventure, whatever) how does that make you feel about the decision? Would having more time to adjust make College B more attractive? I’m not necessarily saying you should take that time (only you could decide whether that felt useful or not). I’m more interested in whether it calms your jitters to think about attending College B in a year from this fall, or whether it feels like the wrong decision either now or later. That may help you sort out the significance of your hesitations.
I disagree, @mikemac. I don’t think @LaurelS is full of herself at all. I think she’s honestly trying to figure out what to do.
My two cents, as the parent of a soon-to-be college freshman who struggles with anxiety, is to learn what you can about the counseling center at College B, assuming you may need it. Are you entitled to unlimited visits? If not, is there a city or town nearby where you might find a therapist?
Anxiety is something to take very seriously. If you will be more comfortable at A, then that can be the best choice.
If you would like to take a chance on B, and A would still be affordable should you find that you need to transfer closer to home, then perhaps you can start at B and see how it goes.
The goal is to be happy, productive, and successful (however you measure that). Going to a place where you will be over-challenged, anxious, depressed, in lousy weather, and all-around morose does not seem to be the best choice.
Many on College Confidential seem to believe that any ABET accredited school is as good as the next one (I personally feel that the experience is at least as valuable as the education, but I am in the minority).
You have lusted after the state flagship, and can easily spend the weekend at home if you need a safety valve. You are used to the weather, the customs, the culture, and all the rest. You feel the social side and the athletics/spirit is really something you want.
If you want something (absolutely) and are privileged enough to be offered it, do not give it up just because you are offered something else that others perceive as better.
Follow your heart.
On the other hand, if you don’t think you will measure up at the other school, and are afraid of failure, know that the admissions team is usually pretty good at selecting only students who can thrive in their school- you were not admitted by mistake. If you are following your heart- go for it. If you are avoiding a fear, take a deep breath and plunge into the fear- you will be alright.
Mental well being is of paramount importance. Which of the two universities has well equipped mental health services? How difficult is it for you to make new friends? If you attend the flagship, you will be near home; how important is it for you? If you don’t like competitive atmosphere, then choose the college A. Transitioning from the comfort of regulated high school environment to open college atmosphere will take some time getting used to. Is your major in high demand, so no matter where you go (A or B), jobs will be available - Check the bureau of labor statistics for employment outlook.
Being stressed will impact your performance. You are the best judge in selecting a college where you feel comfortable, and thrive.
Enroll at B and transfer to A if necessary? If we were talking about something like Cornell and UWash, that gets more interesting because UWash is a pretty fair school for engineering and Cornell would be a long long way from home in a somewhat isolated environment. But right now – the devil is in the details! – I’ll go with enrolling in College B. There’s no guarantee that you won’t have difficulties at College A, either, as engineering is no picnic (sorry, not to stress you out even more!), and I’m not sure that being a two hour drive from home is going to solve much, over and above taking full advantage of the school’s counselling and ECs to keep you balanced and content.
Thank you so much for all your help! After reading your replies, I’m leaning towards enrolling at B, with a back up plan of transferring back home or to another school if I really can’t handle it. Would transferring have any negative consequences or reflect badly on a resume? Just the idea that I can transfer back is reassuring, so maybe my hesitation is just nerves.
No, transferring would not look bad- in fact most transfers do not put their original college on their resume. My dad transferred from Wake Forest to Colby, and he only puts Colby on his resumes. If you have a lot of friends at your college, it can be tough to leave them behind, but that’s really the hardest aspect.
I used to have very bad social anxiety, and branching out was the single most helpful thing I’ve done to cope with it. I think once you get to College B, you’ll realize that you had nothing to be afraid of. And if not…you can always transfer back home.