<p>Though I am just a high-schooler(just graduated), I will post only because I have a strong feeling on this issue.
Just go. It's only for 3-4 hours. Not everyone in your school is social or enjoyed their 4 years. In fact, most of my friends think of high school as a bludgeoning, 4-yr torture.
You parents brought you up, nourished you ever since you were born, and you should fulfill their request. Just walking on the stage, is that too much to ask for?</p>
<p>Thank you all for your comments :) It has been very nice to get a wide range of opinions and I think I am a little closer to making a decision (although still pretty torn).</p>
<p>There was a question asked in an earlier post about the ceremony rehearsal. I think that our school buses us all to the venue downtown (about an hour South of here) a few hours earlier, so that we can rehearse before the ceremony. I will probably need to leave within an hour or two to catch the bus, if I decide to go that route. As of right now, I'm not really sure of all the details; I feel very "out of the loop" about it all. </p>
<p>Regarding senior breakfast, ours was this morning. All of the seniors at school were bussed to the breakfast location (about an hour North of here), but I missed the breakfast because I had classes. There's also a senior party after the graduation, but I'll be missing that too, as I have school tomorrow and also didn't purchase a ticket ($150+).</p>
<p>I'm not worried about bullying at all, but more of just being out of place. I have friends from my classes a few years ago, but lost touch with most of them. I'm sure if I went to the graduation, everybody would be nice, but it would just be extremely uncomfortable for me. I have many symptoms of social anxiety; heart palpitations, trembling, blushing, etc. and know that I need to be less shy. I guess its just the prospect of being around thousands of strangers that all know each other that is scary to me. I'd much prefer to have a nice family dinner (we have reservations at a fancy restauraunt downtown), where both my family and I can celebrate in a relaxed environment. At the same time, I don't want to disappoint my parents and I realize that I won't be able to go back 20 years from now if I make the wrong choice. </p>
<p>I think I will call my Dad to check one last time to see if I can get a concrete answer about the importance of this graduation to him. My Mom was originally very opposed to skipping the ceremony, but after I explained my reservations to her a few weeks ago, she agreed that celebrating at dinner might be just as nice. </p>
<p>Thanks again for all of the opinions. They are greatly appreciated :)</p>
<p>
[quote]
I'm sure if I went to the graduation, everybody would be nice, but it would just be extremely uncomfortable for me. I have many symptoms of social anxiety; heart palpitations, trembling, blushing, etc. and know that I need to be less shy. I guess its just the prospect of being around thousands of strangers that all know each other that is scary to me. I'd much prefer to have a nice family dinner (we have reservations at a fancy restaurant downtown), where both my family and I can celebrate in a relaxed environment. At the same time, I don't want to disappoint my parents and I realize that I won't be able to go back 20 years from now if I make the wrong choice.
[/quote]
If you say to your Dad what you just wrote, he might be able to see it your way, and not feel disappointed if you don't go...</p>
<p>I hope you decided to go, it's goes fast. You sit, you listen to the speakers, you pick up your diploma and you make your parents happy.</p>
<p>I don't remember people hanging around to chit chat about their school years.</p>
<p>Congratulations and good luck.</p>
<p>I thought I would update here one last time, as I have finally made my decision! </p>
<p>All of these posts were very helpful and I read through each of them many times; tallying up the general consensus, jotting down new perspectives, and trying to really understand just how important this night is to parents. </p>
<p>It seems that to most of the parents here this night is important because of its symbollic nature. Nobody really attends just to hear the speeches or to see the diplomas handed out, but rather they go because of the overall message it sends. The ceremonies are a way of showing that 13 years of hard work and achievments have not gone unnoticed. They send a powerful message to everybody in attendance that they deserve to be proud; regardless of whether they were the student, parent, teacher, or friend. </p>
<p>I think that being able to reach this conclusion has been most helpful in making my decision today. After talking with my mother, father, and sister this afternoon, I've realized that the cermonies aren't the important part to them. Both my parents told me that they want me to choose the decision that I think is best for me; the one that would make me happiest. In my heart, I know that I would be happiest celebrating at dinner with the family. I do worry that this decision may be selfish, but I feel it is the right one. I know deep down that they'll be proud of me in life, regardless of how many ceremonies I participate in, and for now, that is all the assurance I need.</p>
<p>Thanks again to all that added their input to this discussion. The CC parents have come to my rescue again and for that, I am extremely thankful. This was a very hard decision for me to make and I know that it is likely not all of you will agree with it, but I feel it was the right one to make for me.</p>
<p>I am glad that you worked things out
I think it is ok to stand up and say that this is what you want
Afterall, if you don't stand up for what you want who will?
I know you will have a nice dinner with your family
congratulations.
:)</p>
<p>I am so glad you discussed it fully with your family - by doing that you have come to a decision that is right for you and them. By discussing with them they know you care about how they feel - which means a lot. Have a great dinner and congratulations and good luck. :)</p>
<p>I'm happy that you've made a decision that you all can be happy about. It is your day afterall. I'm sure your family is very very proud of you, walk or not. You sound like a remarkable person. Enjoy your day!</p>
<p>I'm glad you are going. My S skipped senior year of HS, and never had the ceremony. I had looked forward to hearing him give a speech & enjoying the time with other students and parents that I knew well.</p>
<p>You are blessed to have a family where love and communication flow.</p>
<p>I'm glad you reached a decision that pleases you and pleases your parents. I think that many of us would agree that it is what is best for the family. Though your comment about the other parents struck home. I barely remember even seeing my S last weekend, but I had a ball with some of the parents with whom my S was in K-4. Some of them I hadn't seen since our kids were 8 or 9 years old as they all grew apart. I think that was even more fun than hearing my S's name and looking down on a sea of red. S didn't even stick around to pick up his actual diploma (they only got the covers at the ceremony) and we had a really fun dinner afterwards - so it was alittle bit about him and alittle bit about us. S's younger brother opted out of the ceremony so the whole family wasn't there anyway but we were all together for dinner afterward.</p>
<p>Ditto to what payingthreetuitions said -- and, as a side note, I think your parents were able to see today that you have become a mature young adult. There was a conflict, you grappled with it, you talked it over with all the interested parties, and listened to your parents' opinions <em>and</em> the underlying feelings, and then made a decision <em>you</em> felt comfortable with.</p>
<p>You have truly graduated! Hope your celebration dinner was marvelous.</p>
<p>I appreciate your opening this discussion. I was in a similar situation to yours when I was 18 and didn't go to my graduation. My parents were hurt, and the issue was a sore point for many years. It didn't get put away until my college graduation--which I attended because it was important to my parents.</p>
<p>It is odd to now be on the other side of the equation. My son is graduating high school this weekend. The truth is that I have no more interest in going to his graduation than I did in going to my own. I just can't get enthusiastic about sitting for hours in a hot gym watching 1100+ students that I don't know receive their diplomas. Even when one of them is my own child. But my son wants to go to the ceremony, so I will put my feelings aside, put a smile on my face and attend the graduation--to make him happy.</p>
<p>Did you go???</p>
<p>
[quote]
In my heart, I know that I would be happiest celebrating at dinner with the family. I do worry that this decision may be selfish, but I feel it is the right one. I know deep down that they'll be proud of me in life, regardless of how many ceremonies I participate in, and for now, that is all the assurance I need.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>From Post #25, which is slightly cryptic, but looks like ZPMQ did not go to the ceremony, but went out to a lovely dinner instead :)</p>