<p>We are worried about the party scene expecially when kids are away from home at this age. I would like to know whether it is rampant on the weekends especially at these schools because in this forum there are parents whose kids are in Deerfield or Lawrenceville. What was your experience with your children?</p>
<p>So, just answering for Deerfield and not making any comparisons… My son says he doesn’t see/hear of much alcohol on campus, and thinks this is definitely true for the younger kids (freshmen and sophomores live together, and juniors and seniors live together in different dorms; most people have singles). He HAS heard of a fair amount of chewing tobacco among the boys (which, thank god, he finds personally disgusting). Because there are so few day students, and because Deerfield itself is in a rural area! they have a fair amount of activities on campus on the weekends (dances, movies, music, sports, a baking club), and buses take kids into the nearest bigger town several times on weekends if they want to go to a movie there, shop, or eat out. So I don’t think they’re that bored. What I’ve heard as a parent is that there’s not that much alcohol on campus during term time, but, during vacations and breaks, there are some very wild parties, especially in the New York area, with Deerfield kids. My son’s only a freshman, and doesn’t hang with that crowd, so it’s not something he’s seen personally-- it’s just what I’ve heard. But on campus it doesn’t seem to be a huge problem.</p>
<p>Since the OP welcomed student input, I’ll provide perspective from a comparable institution. I believe that what @Daykidmom has said can be pretty much applied to all boarding schools, including dipping which I find disgusting. It certainly applies to mine. I do believe however, based upon some of the original poster’s previous comments, including wanting the son to go to boarding school as a way to gain a foothold into ivies, that a reality check is needed.</p>
<p>Some high school students drink. Some do drugs. Some have sex. This is true if the student is in public school or private school. I personally have seen little drug/alcohol use occur on-campus. Usually it happens at a party at a day student’s house/other off-campus venue, or while away on break, and certainly more often in the later years. There are certainly no keg parties in the dorms. Yes, it is a violation of the code of conduct, and yes, it is enforced. However, I know of no HS in the country that does not have a drug and alcohol policy.</p>
<p>The schools are acting in loco parentis and they take it seriously. All boarding schools have weekend activities as described above to keep the kids occupied. Teenagers, however, are resourceful. I don’t know about other schools, but mine extends the prohibited items list to visitors to the school. So parents can’t smoke or drink on the property, and the school sends out an email to the parents prior to graduation to not bring champagne.</p>
<p>Some statistics from a comparable school:</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.phillipian.net/sota13/sections/drugs.html”>http://www.phillipian.net/sota13/sections/drugs.html</a></p>
<p>Drinking does occur among some kids off campus & discreetly on campus-- no different than a regular HS. How strictly the student is punished for infractions is dependent upon how much clout the parents have. Famous last name kid at S1’s school has been DC’d multiple times for substance abuse & was to be expelled, until high-profile parent went ballistic. Kids w mere mortal parents have been forced to withdraw.</p>
<p>Drinking does occur in small doses while on campus and in larger doses off campus on weekend trips. What I would be more concerned about on campus is pot. Its much easier to sneak in than alcohol, and if you are crafty you wont reek of it afterwards. Conversation with your kid is extremely important. But I do agree with skieurope that these are teenagers and I would imagine the percentage of kids drinking/doing drugs is the same in high schools private or public across board.</p>
<p>After a long debate he made his choice and decided to “Go Green” once again thank you very much for posting all the knowledge. </p>
<p>Congrats to your son @sonsparent! 
Good luck at Deerfield.</p>
<p>Congrats! I’m personally an L’ville shipper myself ( 
), but Deerfield is a great school with great people.</p>
<p>Welcome to DA, sonsparent! My DS has been very happy and challenged-- I hope your S is as well. It’s always hard to choose between such great schools! Feel free to PM me at any time if you have any more questions.</p>
<p>Congrats! Fun starts now! :)</p>