Hi guys, so here’s the situation: I’m a 17 year old right now, currently a junior. My parents can be mentally, emotionally and occasionally physically abusive. They’re not bad all the time, but it does hurt my mental and emotional wellbeing. I’ve always wanted to leave, but I figured I’d stay with them until I got through college, but here’s the problem: they’re forcing me to go to Pakistan for college as soon as I graduate. I’ve begged and pleaded and exhausted myself trying to refuse but they are not budging. I’m a good student and person. I stay out of trouble and have a 3.6 unweighted GPA. This year I’m taking Calculus and Physics and one AP class so I’m in pretty good standing for state schools. However, while I’m fine academically, I lack extracurriculars. This is because my parents refuse to let me join anything, get a job or volunteer since it’s a “waste of time.” I do have hobbies though: running, writing poetry, and photography. I also significantly help out around the house (all of the chores and looking after my two younger brothers since my dad works and my mom is in nursing school) and help my mom with some of her work. My parents don’t let me out of the house. I’m not allowed to see my friends ever or go to any fun activities unless it’s a family thing which is itself very rarely and annoying because my values and morals are different than theirs. If I stay with them, they are going to send me to Pakistan for college and force me to marry someone I don’t want to. (They’re religious in a hypocritical sense and I’m an atheist). I believe you can have a meaningful life and be a good person without religion and while I respect people’s beliefs, I personally don’t agree with religion. I have some very supportive friends and two of them offered to let me stay with them temporarily. I plan on leaving after graduation, getting two jobs and saving for a cheap car, room, and other basic necessities. Since I won’t have my parents support me for college at all, I’m hoping I will be able to take out unsubsidized loans, grants, and scholarships. I have a couple questions: do you think it would be possible for me to attend a school with a yearly tuition of 11K and be able to support myself? I’m not going to make unnecessary expenses. I’m good at budgeting, but I also need to be realistic. While I wouldn’t mind going to community college if need be, I would prefer to go to University of Illinois at Chicago and aim for becoming a high school psychology, history, and women’s studies teacher. Also, what are the chances of me being able to get an unsubsidized loan since I won’t be able to give my parents information for FAFSA? Any other advice is greatly appreciated and thanks for reading all that.
Your parents sound downright awful, you should get out of that situation. I think you should consider going to community college for a couple years to really cut down on costs and then transferring to an in-state university so you can get cheap tuition if you have trouble getting loans.
As a freshman you are eligible for a $5500 loan. If your family is low income you might also get a Pell grant of <$6K. That’s pretty much it. Many students have been able to make CC work with a job and a Direct Loan. You can’t afford UIC.
I currently work full time and take community college classes part time, but I also have higher life expenses because the SF bay area is really pricey. You could probably manage taking classes full time and working like 24-32 hours a week, lots of people do it.
It sounds to me like there are some cultural and religious differences between the OP and his/her parents. This does not mean they are “horrible”. It means that their religion and culture are different than what the OP desires.
To the OP…if you really want to be independent from your parents, I think you will need to get a job, and work full time. You will need to move out of your parents house if you really don’t want to do things their way. You can attend college part time, or work until you are 24 when you will be independent for financial aid purposes…and then start full time college at that point.
I stand by what I said, but I will refrain from saying any of the other negative things on my mind because this is a thread asking for help and I don’t want it to get shut down.
@razzledazzle13 you mention $11,000 a year college tuition. What about living expenses? Who will be paying those? Where will you live?
^ Very good point, I didn’t catch that in the original post. 11k + year round living expenses if you’re living on your own would push it up to around $20k depending on what area you’re living in and whether it’s on/off campus.
Add on health insurance to the total too.
Obamacare can get you pretty cheap coverage of course. But overall, all those auxiliary charges like phone bill, HI, etc can start to add up.
@thumper1 I was planning on trying to get scholarships and loans to cover those expenses and renting a cheap room.
@“Erin’s Dad” What exactly is a direct loan? And would it be possible for me to get an unsubsidized loan for community college? Also, do you need parental information for grants?
Without significant financial support, that’s not going to happen.
You cannot get an unsubsidized loan without the FAFSA. And, your parents wont fill that out.
You get $5500 per year. That’s it.
Working and going to a CC should be manageable while rooming with someone, but you really need to work and save money, as @thumper1 has indicated.
At 24, you would be apply to apply for funding, on your own.
@“aunt bea” Alright thank you (: I will probably go the community college route. Will I be able to get loans or grants for that or no?
http://oedb.org/community-college-grant/
I think the variety of programs depends on the state you reside in. But if you go to community college in a state you have residency in and then split a room with somebody it shouldn’t be too bad.
Yes, you should be able to get some funding.
Some CC’s even have private donations that they use to fund students. Contact them and find out what you would qualify for in funding. California CC’s are experimenting with that.
No federal loans or grants without your parent info, unless you apply for and are granted a dependency override (for that, you must talk to the school’s financial aid office). Dependent students are technically able to get an unsubsidized loan by filing the FAFSA without parent info, but they can only get the loan if the parent signs a statement indicating that they won’t be supporting the student in any way (including insurance, housing, etc) - again, you have to contact the school’s financial aid office to ask about their process for this. In this case, no grants - just the unsub loan.
Have you considered joining the military - particularly the Air Force for their community college?
I would absolutely refuse to go to Pakistan. Ask your school guidance counselor for help, I am positive there are programs which will help. Perhaps a judge could declare you emancipated and then you could get student loans etc
http://www.finaid.org/educators/pj/dependencyoverrides.phtml this might help