<p>The timing of the calls is curious and not well thought out</p>
<p>but maybe they are trying to show that fund raising and admissions are not connected</p>
<p>when I left my Ds old elementary school, which i had many issues with, I get letters and calls, etc asking for money. I send them back with a curt note saying, I don't think so. Its kind of snooty, but whatever, i feel better</p>
<p>My D was a legacy at Columbia and was deferred in the RD round. I was a little PO'ed at first and called the adcom about it because I wanted to know if she was familiar with D's high school and got a fair shake admission wise. My impression was that D would have been admitted had she applied ED and taken advantage of the on-campus interviews for alums. Adcom was very familiar with the high school. I got over my anger after D was admitted to Penn as a University Scholar. Columbia wasn't too high on D's list anyway and now she's thriving at Penn and much happier than I think she would have been at Columbia anyway. I have again begun giving meager donations to Columbia abecause to quote the Beach Boys, you have to be "true to your school". But I have cut them in half and give half to Penn now</p>
<p>I don't know if our story adds much to this discussion but a few years ago our oldest son was rejected by a longtime family alma mater. It was surprising since he was overqualified for admission and was accepted everywhere else. Ultimately we learned that the college downgraded our son because he had not made an official visit. We had been making unofficial visits to the campus for years - to athletic and other events - and our son knew that campus like the back of his hand. He knew want it was like to attend from hearing our family stories. In hindsight, it was stupid on our part not to schedule an official visit and it was probably appropriate that the school focused on students who it believed really wanted to attend. (This college was not first on our son's list, but it was his second choice.) At the time, we did not realize how much colleges want to be courted by potential students or how much colleges game the yield rate. We know now.</p>
<p>I'm not a parent, but I have a story.</p>
<p>I was deferred ED and then rejected by UVA as an instate student with legacy. Some people say they can't lower admissions anymore for instate so legacy doesn't get an advantage if you're already instate, but I got into W&M (so I don't think you can say I wasn't "qualified" to get into UVA) and am enjoying myself here completely. The day after my rejection letter came, someone from the school (professor?) called our house to thank my parents for their donations... I don't answer the phone at my house, but I listened to the person leave the message, and I was very tempted to pick up the phone and have a nice conversation with them, but I resisted. My parents weren't happy about the rejection, and they weren't happy about that phone call either (someone mentioned phone calls... if the school wants to do them, they should be done more skillfully than that.) I don't think my parents were huge donors, but they did donate every year, and they donated enough to get a thank you phone call. I can't say for sure, but I imagine their generosity toward UVA has declined, because I know they donate to W&M.</p>
<p>My impression is that in some cases a rejection is ironically perceived by admissions to be the kinder, gentler way to deal with some of these legacy applications. In that way, there is no false hope riding on an eventual reversal and the student (and family) can refocus efforts where they will count.</p>
<p>That may be true, but it takes a lot of nerve to call for donations right after a rejection or as we had, an acceptance with no aid (same effect as a rejection).</p>
<p>I don't like how some of you seem to speak of donating to your alma maters, but once your precious "D's" or "S's" get rejected, your wallets close tight. Seems kind of irrational to me.</p>
<p>I look at it this way: now I have to fork over big bucks for tuition while my taxes and previous donations are supporting alcohol abusers and international students. My pockets are only so deep.</p>
<p>Since my S was rejected ED at our alma mater, we have decided to donate whatever funds would go there to other universities whose professional programs we attended. These schools were kinder to our other children than Penn was to this particular S.</p>
<p>When my D applied to Stanford, we received a nice letter (after her application was submitted) from the admissions office telling us how much the university appreciated its alumni and their continued support throughout the years. They couldn't accept all legacy applicants, but if there were two indistinguishable applicants, the legacy one would get the tip. But what are the chances that two applicants would be indistinguishable? Everyone's unique, just like everyone else.</p>
<p>"now I have to fork over big bucks for tuition while my taxes and previous donations are supporting alcohol abusers and international students."</p>
<p>What school is this?</p>
<p>Should being a legacy really give your kids a holy mandate to go to school there?</p>
<p>
[quote]
I don't like how some of you seem to speak of donating to your alma maters, but once your precious "D's" or "S's" get rejected, your wallets close tight. Seems kind of irrational to me.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>I would have to agree. I mean, even though I'm not in college yet, my high school has given numerous experiences that I'll treasure for the rest of my life, has given me so many friends that I've shared so many classes with, given me so many teachers that I could relate to and has inspired and motivated me to be what I want to be. Even if my child was not admitted, I will still owe those experiences to my high school.</p>
<p>It kind of reminds me of kids who are totally in love with a college, and when they don't get accepted, they get mad and starts bashing at the school (or making threads like "so and so school sucks because they didnt accept me" ;) ). Does it still not encompass all the qualities you wanted in a school?</p>
<p>I give to my alma mater(s) because I appreciate what they did for me. That's it. Not because I expect them to look kindly on my sons.</p>
<p>You know, before my son applied to MIT, I certainly didn't think of my donations as affecting his future there. (They theoretically don't give legacy preference, but for the class of 2007, 92 of the admits were children of alums.) And I would have said it wouldn't affect my donations.</p>
<p>BUT, when it came down to it and they asked me for $$ two weeks before the decisions went out, I held the envelope until my son had heard from them. I couldn't bring myself to give them anything until I knew that they valued my son as much as I did. </p>
<p>So my actions in the end were not the same as my abstract theory. I expect that's true of a lot of things.</p>
<p>As for bashing a school that's rejected someone--well, of course. It's hard to be rejected; it's easier if you should have rejected them first.</p>
<p>I did not want to test myself with the scenario of rejected kid, bad feeling; I like having a 100% great feeling about my college. That's why I never urged her to apply; I thought her chance of being accepted was pretty slim. I, too, give to help the school that gave me such a rich experience, not to win my kids an unfair advantage.</p>
<p>If my extremely-well-qualified kid was not admitted, I would hopefully get over it and keep being an active alum... but you never know how that would play out unless/until it happens to you.</p>
<p>An ex admission officer for an elite school told me that a kid with more A's than B's in a rigorous curriculum who has an active alumni parent is pretty hard to turn down. Maybe with the increased number of echo boomers applying, this has changed.</p>
<p>cav, it's a well know phenomenon that money follows the kids! Many of us have been giving to our college for 20 years with the thought in the back of our mind (or for some, at the forefront of their mind!) "Gee, maybe some day Precious will go to MyU and have a great time there like I did." When those hopes and dreams are cruelly dashed it is quite rational to send contributions elsewhere. This is the real reason for legacy preference in admission: to keep the flow of funds flowing!</p>
<p>That seems like kind of a shame. Hmm...maybe I should just donate enough that they <em>have</em> to accept my kid...</p>
<p>I agree with Cavalier.</p>
<p>It makes more sense to get disappointed over the fact that your Ds and Ss got rejected because they were really qualified but overlooked than the fact that you went to the school ~20 years ago. </p>
<p>What about the applicants whose parents were poor and didn't go to college or applicants who are children of immigrants? Perhaps they had high scores, more impressive essays, more informative recs than your Ds/Ss. </p>
<p>I understand why you would be upset if your child did not get into a first choice school. But I don't think it's reasonable to be upset that your donation money is supporting "international students."</p>
<p>And is anyone else here offended by the fact that lkf725 placed international students in the same category as "alcohol abusers"???</p>
<p>I'm still in college but I can tell you that most international students at my school (University of Virginia) are some of the brightest, most hard working I've ever met. And my standards are extremely high. </p>
<p>They're not the ones who abuse alcohol. In fact, I have friends who are legacies and they go to parties on Thursday, Fridays, and Saturdays. </p>
<p>So I guess that's where all your money would be going: buying copious amounts of useless alcohol.</p>
<p>I don't see donating money to a school contributes to drinking. Since when do colleges buy booze? As far as I know, UVA spends money on things like landscaping, professor salaries, football players, etc.</p>