<p>Things I learned as a Freshman parent:
1)-When you are skyping with your D a couple of weeks after you dropped her off for her Freshman year and she says that she has joined a new club called Spectrum. I asked her what is that and she tells you that it is the Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, Bisexual and Allies (sp?) club. I asked if there is something that she needed to tell us and she said we needed to open our ears!! She was an Allie! Needless to say, the look on my wifes and my face was priceless. We should have known as she is a huge equal rights proponent.</p>
<p>2-Know your childs schedule (and that includes club meetings). Nothing more embarrassing then calling or texting your child and getting a nasty text back or a grumpy answer to your call saying she is in a meeting. </p>
<p>3)-Be prepared to go for periods of time without hearing from your kid. We told our D that a simple text saying Hi Dad Having a good day. Talk to you tomorrow does wonders for us parents. </p>
<p>4)-When making travel plans for winter break or spring break, verify times at least 15 times. After discussing spring break plans multiple times with D, I called her one last time to tell her I was booking her flight. Got an OK from her. Two hours later she called saying she got invited to Chicago for spring break. Too bad! You are coming home.</p>
<p>5)-D and I have a deal. She gives me access to her mybama account and I remind her of deadlines or if there are opportunities for her to look at. She has final say as to whether or not she pursues them. Works great for us. </p>
<p>6)-Dining Dollars will go down more the second semester than the first and kids get out more. D ran out about a week ago. </p>
<p>7)-Care packages that you send you kid does wonders. We have to ship tortillas to D every month or so. </p>
<p>Parents, feel free to add other things you learned!</p>
<p>*2-Know your child’s schedule (and that includes club meetings). Nothing more embarrassing then calling or texting your child and getting a nasty text back or a grumpy answer to your call saying she is in a meeting. *</p>
<p>Been there…I quickly learned to just send texts saying…contact me when convenient. I learned early on that kids like to do the calling; they don’t really like parents calling them. That’s fine.</p>
<p>Make sure your kid’s passport is up to date. My brainiac son tried to board a flight from BHM to YVR at the beginning of XMAS break and discovered (oops) his passport was expired. </p>
<p>Many days, hundreds of dollars, and hours of exasperating phone calls later he got to make a mad-dash road trip to Atlanta to sort it out, then scramble back to BHM in time to barely catch his multi-rescheduled flight. All in all, a first-class cluster. :)</p>
<p>Mahalo for the tip, Malanai.</p>
<p>i lerned that you can buy half of a mango key lime pie at publix for $4!!! : ) </p>
<p>and that you can eat pie out of a coffee cup in your hotel room! : )</p>
<p>^^^Ah, but can you drink coffee out of a pie tin without dribbling it down your chin, Mike?</p>
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<p>You are most welcome. By the way, you may be amused to note than when the young lad finally arrived in Canada he was greeted in the lobby of the ski lodge by his older brother, who embraced him sweetly and declared for all the world to hear, “You’re an idiot!” :)</p>
<p>challenge accepted, malanai! : )</p>
<p>We await the results with bated breath, Mike. ;)</p>
<p>Even though my S got a little thinner if that’s possible being at school, I actually gained the freshman 15 as I stressed about his freshman year. It is not necessarily easier to eat well when you are no longer cooking for a teen. I was blissfully ignorant to my detriment at times with my older 2, and thus didn’t stress as much, plus I had a toddler at home- ha ha.</p>
<p>Just because grades are posted doesn’t mean there isn’t surprise when the letter grade is posted under “midterm grade”.</p>
<p>And a request, since many of us know who some of our students are. Please don’t repeat everything you read here to your student or your fellow student. Like don’t tell my S that his mom has gained the freshman 15.</p>
<p>And finally,If they are pledging they might not have much time for you on parent’s weekend.</p>
<p>I have learned that some kids NEED someone to stay on top of them about their school work. Some need to be reminded, to be encouraged, and even be threatened to get their work done. </p>
<p>I backed way off this year at the prodding of family members that said he needed to be left alone. Well the results are in this semester and I hope they’re happy because I’m sure as hell not. I even got a call late last night from the child saying he knows he screwed up this semester and asked me if I would go back to keeping on top of him next fall. </p>
<p>Now I know most on here have kids in honors that have been self motivated and disciplined for years. And I know kids need to learn to do things on their own. But I’d rather stay on top of him and have him make the Dean’s list versus backing off and seeing him get a D+ in a class that should have been an A- at worst.</p>
<p>Does one even get credit for a D+ or will the class have to be repeated? </p>
<p>SERENITY NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!</p>
<p>Sorry, to hear about that, CasinoExec. This may be the kick in the pants he needed to get his act together. He’s asking for assistance to keep on top of things - and that’s a positive first step.</p>
<p>You do get credit for a D+ (unless it’s a major requirement, in which the case the major has the discretion to require a C for credit), but it’s not good for the GPA to let it stand by itself. A repeat is definitely called for, especially if he can get that A the next time.</p>
<p>A repeat may be necessary if his career requires grad school, which I think it does.</p>
<p>I agree that some kids need that kind of accountability. I know that legally they’re adults but their brains haven’t fully developed the area of discernment which is why some 18-22 year olds still make some impulsive or short-sighted decisions. I think that area of the brain isn’t complete til about age 25.</p>
<p>I backed way off this year at the prodding of family members that said he needed to be left alone</p>
<p>I know that this is frustrating, but sometimes you have to let a bad thing happen to “shut up the criticizers” and convince the target (the student) that he’s not mature enough (just yet) to handle it all himself.</p>
<p>I don’t have one of those kids either casino exec. For the most part I was not on him in HS much, but college has been a different story. You’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. Today with so many kids perusing grad school or wanting to attend later you are really cutting off some of your options if you grades aren’t really good. It’s kind of too bad, there isn’t much chance to experiment & try something if you always have to worry about the gpa. And one bad semester and you don’t have the option at all. </p>
<p>It seems like there wasn’t as much focus on grades in the past. As long as you got your degree you were fine. Now it’s just so competitive. </p>
<p>What is the process and purpose to repeat a class? For S it was the lab portion of the science that he did badly in and brought down his B+, but doubtful that you could retake just the lab. The grade doesn’t go away right? Does the new grade get counted as well, to balance it? Or is just to show that you can do the work?</p>
<p>Casino Have you read The Battle Hym of the Tiger Mother?
Wether you agree with her or not, it’s a good read…</p>
<p>Thanks for the kind words and advice. The class was CS-285. A core requirement but not part of his major. It just infuriates me because it’s not a hard class. It was as simple as him being too lazy or forgetful to do some assignments on time. </p>
<p>I’ll have to look into the process of him repeating the class. I assume both grades would still factor into his GPA but only the 2nd grade would show on his transcripts?</p>
<p>Yorba,</p>
<p>I haven’t read that but I’ll give it a look. Thanks!</p>
<p>This conversation is so timely, and it’s making me feel better. Although my younger kid is really brighter than his NMF sister at Bama, I am beginning to wonder he’s ever going to manage college if he can’t even manage high school. He has a really low grade in Honors Lit because of nothing more than not turning in homework (yeah, I tried that “backing off” idea too) and I can’t get him to understand how it’s going to impact his college choices. AND I’M A TEACHER SO HE SHOULD OBVIOUSLY BE A PERFECT STUDENT!!!</p>
<p>Casino, you are not along! While my incoming member of the Crimson Tide is our academic kid, her older brothers are not. In fact, one of them was at a D1 school for his favorite sport and he did not make his grades his first semester… and that was with lots of team-required study hall hours. His brother, who we like to say is majoring in fraternity life at a Big 12 school, managed to lose his academic scholarship and is right now repeating a science lab that he somehow pulled an F in his soph year. At his school, the retaken grade will replace the first grade. And he actually has an A in it. Go figure.</p>
<p>I also tried the “backing off idea” with my youngest. Or what I like to refer to as the time I gave him just enough rope.
Oh yeah, he hung himself alright!
He’s a sophmore in HS, so I have two more years to brush up on my chinese.</p>
<p>This is my 2 cents about “backing off” with kids…even with kids who are pretty good at remembering things. Everyone needs some back up reminders for important things. I know that I do sometimes! Sometimes it’s hard to keep all the plates in the air!!! </p>
<p>I believe in “backing off” when the “cost” is really only on the person. I don’t remind them about “fun stuff” or other things when only they have to really suffer or the suffering is painful, but not too costly (money, school, or career-wise). When you let them fail when the “fail” isn’t too costly, it does serve as a reminder that they’re not great about managing things.</p>