<p>Kind of like your friends, my mother is hispanic and from Colombia. My father is Irish and German, but from Long Island. That was my concern, because people laugh when I tell them I speak Spanish and my mom is hispanic. I don’t want to play games, but I am still a URM… right?</p>
<p>There’s some really sage advice in this thread!!! In the end, a lot of outstanding candidates wind up on WL or even rejected from schools at which they’d succeed. We felt pretty well prepared for our daughter’s application process this year and were pleased with the results. One place where we dropped the ball was helping our daughter craft a suitable response to the “where are you applying” question. As competition continues to rise and families respond by applying to more schools, answering this question well may determine whether a school considers your child a risk to their yield targets. </p>
<p>Also, while I think it’s best for the child not to be emotionally attached to a school before being admitted, I’m really struggling with the idea of first choice letters for my younger kids. This process is starting to look a lot like college admissions, and there’s a reason that colleges give applicants the chance to commit themselves during the early decision process. Just a few thoughts! :)</p>
<p>I agree that it’s looking a lot like college admissions! The good thing is our kids will all be well prepared for that process!</p>
<p>Bump 10 char</p>
<p>I am humbled by all I read here. I joined CC after decisions were sent this year, so our family was totally unencumbered by most of this knowledge. We did almost none of what is suggested here in terms of strategies to consider based on how tough the applicant pool is. I had never heard the term hook until I got here. Frankly, we had no idea how few actual seats our S was competing for (we understand the algorithm better now). Perhaps, had we known, we might not have encouraged him to go through the process or apply to some of the schools he chose. We did attend the local TSAO event; we did visit his four choices (one non-TSAO member); we did understand their programs/differences/similarities/cultures/reputations/costs; we did try to get a feel for what it would be like to be a student at each; we did not know what peril checking FA might be; and I dont remember being interviewed by any school (although we did complete all the parent statements). S researched and narrowed the schools based on his passion, took SSAT once without tutoring or angst, sent scores out without considering or knowing about pull-back, wrote essays, loved his interviews (all offsite), completed application, and then went about the business of being a normal eighth-grader until decisions came out and he had two schools to choose from.</p>
<p>From what I read here, we were completely naïve and unarmed for the fight, and S was just incredibly/impossibly lucky that he was somehow able to demonstrate or articulate that elusive something that at least a couple of the schools were looking for this past round. Or, perhaps, they just needed a boy from our non-NE state. In hindsight, Im having that breathless feeling of discovering that we once stood at the edge of a cliff and didnt know it.</p>
<p>Or, perhaps I could timidly suggest that AOs and adcoms are very, very good at what they do, that they are skilled at taking the applicant out of the package and accurately assessing who would thrive in their environments. As has been said in other threads, each school is building a class, and each school chooses its students, not the other way around—and, the mix changes from year to year as does the applicant pool. Over these decisive factors, you have no control. So, perhaps, the best strategy is just to allow your child to shine on his own without too much interference (s/he is what s/he is, one year of pre-application packaging or strategizing is not going to change the fundamental goods, and AOs will see through any artifice). Its hard to say, Put yourself out there son/daughter, and let the chips fall where they may, but that is what ultimately happens. As everyone knows, many perfectly qualified kids will not get the results they hope for through no fault of their own. Thats about all we could tell our son; your chances are slim, rejections are as likely as acceptances, but go for it with all youve gotwe cant help you much because we arent applying, but we love you, and if you dont get any acceptances, it changes nothing important about us or you. Thats all the control we ever thought we had.</p>
<p>Choatie Mom: Good points–but maybe not so different from most of the others above?</p>
<p>I think your experience, jumping in without knowing much about what you were doing, was similar to ours. But so was 2prepmoms–we did most of the stuff on her list as part of the process. It’s hard to imagine a child navigating the process and finding the right schools to apply to without a certain amount of organization and prodding on the part of said child’s parents (My eight grader didn’t naturally think coat and tie before his interview, for example), which is what I think some of the earlier posts were getting at. (nod to Exie’s daughter and the other girls who even arranged their own flights to visit schools!). It’s always helpful, too, to learn a little more about the process from others; I never would have thought, for example, before that first interview, that where else my kid was applying would be a question. </p>
<p>So to sum up… as you and others point out, there’s no creating a good candidate, and yes, as neato pointed out, sometimes it just doesn’t work out (Those skilled AO’s don’t, sometimes, see what they’ve got in front of them. Or see it and can’t afford it.) Discussing chances is never a very helpful exercise, but tips on organizing the whole huge project can be a huge help to many of us.</p>
<p>Yes, and that’s where my “breathless” comment comes from – no thought to even basic logistic tips (son did not wear suit /tie to interviews!) and that’s why I continue to read here. I am hoping for good information going forward on how to be a “good” BS parent because this is all new, and I don’t know what I don’t know (don’t want to fall off that cliff).</p>
<p>Choatiemom- did you physically go to all of the schools with your child? Between two kids, we toured and interviewed at nine different schools. At every single one, including Choate, we were called in, as parents, to speak with the AO. In some cases, they just asked if we had any questions. (Both kids graduated very recently from CRH and are finding college to be a breeze! They were taught well there, and were very happy too! But, they sure did work hard.)</p>
<p>baystateresident – We casually visited two schools during our summer vacation back east to visit family last year, one self-tour, one student-guided tour, no interviews. S interviewed with those two schools at TSAO event here last October, and with Choate alum at a local Starbucks a few weeks later. The AOs at the TSAO event did de-brief us about their conversations with our S; is that a parent interview? They basically did the talking, telling us what a great, easy-to-talk-to kid he is, well qualified, and both said they could easily see him on their campuses/around their tables and were looking forward to his application, but neither school offered admission. The Choate alum had just flown into town for a business stopover and had a nice, animated conversation with S, but didn’t have a lot of time to talk to us after. We didn’t get the same fuzzies there, but here he is now loving his first few weeks at Choate. These experiences were rather confusing to us given how everything worked out and are just another example of how much of a crapshoot the process can seem to be. So, are the interviewer de-briefings what you call the parent interview? Again another place to mess up that we were totally unaware of.</p>
<p>Choatiemom- ha ha, yes. Although you’re right, it was always more of a debriefing than an interview. They were also a chance for us to ask questions. I don’t think you can read too much into what they say though, two of the schools that were the most effusive with their praise offered admission with no financial aid! (that’s called an accept/deny when you go through the college process LOL) I’m glad your child is enjoying the first few weeks there. It finally stopped raining and the weather is now glorious in New England.</p>
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<p>But that’s the wonderful thing about being a parent, isn’t it? There are endless ways to mess up . . . so if you missed one, not to worry, there’s certainly another one right around the corner!</p>
<p>Love your story, Choatiemom. I think it says really nice things about you, your son and Choate! It must have been so refreshing for the school (any school, I guess) not to have the coaching, the parental anxiety/intensity etc with which to contend. Thank God you didn’t find this site until all was said and done!</p>
<p>ThacherParent–so funny you would comment as we only learned about Thacher from this site long after the opportunity to look into it (MUCH closer to us than Choate). I LOVE the equestrian component and didn’t know that there were was a top notch BS practically next door. We DID know that our own state offered nothing, but we were only familiar with the east coast boarding schools having lived in the Boston area for ten years before moving west. So, another lesson learned – more research, more options. Our family is very happy with how everything worked out, Choate is terrific, but I can’t help thinking about those horses… :)</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Move to Wyoming.</p></li>
<li><p>Learn to play the oboe.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>^^Wait, what? Hahaha, I’m confused.</p>
<p>@granni</p>
<p>That will work. You’re a shoe in if you do - lol! Of course that might be the year 100 kids from Wyoming flood the market and the advantage shifts to Minnesota, Nebraska or Kansas. Keep your options open and your bags packed just in case. :)</p>
<p>Exie! I’m an Exeter past-parent, too. I read that thing about Wyoming and the oboe, so I can’t take credit for it, but I still think it’s funny.</p>
<p>bump 10 char</p>
<p>I know that post was old but…
@Exie: “Or if they [the parents] were more seduced by the prestige than the fit for their child.”
Definitely a problem with my parents. They are only letting me apply to Exeter and Andover. Not even Deerfield because they think it’s not good enough.
(I’m starting to think they want to slim my chances of leaving home. 
)</p>
<p>LOL, spaceneedleseive, that’s my parents as well. I had to debate with them for three weeks until I was allowed to apply to GLADCHEMMS instead of just A+E :)</p>