Let's have an SAT ESSAY example/intro para. thread.

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>I was just thinking, I need more practice in thinking up examples for essays on the spot. I am going to put up a prompt and whoever wants to can respond with 2-3 examples and an intro paragraph that they thought of and wrote in under 10 minutes. Here goes. </p>

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<p>It is rare to find an objective and independent viewpoint on style, literature, politics, or any other matter. Many people's opinions are formed through their associations with others. It is our nature to conform; conformity is a force that few can successfully resist. We give in to the human instinct to go along with the crowd and to have its approval.</p>

<p>Adapted from Mark Twain, "Corn-pone Opinions"</p>

<p>Assignment:</p>

<p>Do we tend to accept the opinions of others instead of developing our own independent ideas? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

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<p>In today's society, the public is constantly spoon-fed opinions and exaggerated fallacies. There are very few who venture off from mainstream thought to create independent ideas and risk being branded heretics, conspirators and even loonies. Unforunately, The masses are hopelessly reeled in by dubious information spawned by the media. In a quote by Mark Twain, "If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed", he stresses the extent to which awry reports from supposed reliable sources of information can "misinform." Evident in both history and today's pop culture, people will believe anything if said with authority. </p>

<p>Ugh.. been a while since i wrote one. Anyway's my rather weak examples are</p>

<p>-Use of propaganda throughout WW2
-MTV :[</p>

<p>im horrible at picking examples..</p>

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<p>no one interested?</p>

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<p>oooo that was the prompt for my june SAT!
I just re-read my essay on collegeboard and I dont have the full time to type the intro out but... it was a dialogue thing with 2 kids deciding if they liked a color or not. I developed the thesis by writing that it's because it's a characteristic the majority of the people r born with - to feel the need of acceptance and belonging. And I added in something about being the 'black sheep' lol</p>

<p>My 2nd paragraph continued the idea of kids and their preference to belonging to the majority, and how well their brains can adapt easily to one's opinion and liking and included an anecdote.. Near the end, I continued writing about how we're born with it -and it's only the 'developements and processes we foster that change these dependable characteristics into independent ones' - (yes VERY bad wording).</p>

<p>3para: I used the use of propaganda too! And I linked that to Hitler's leadership and used that to contrast the thesis.</p>

<p>I only had 3 paragraphs (i somehow added a conclusion to the end of the 3rd).. but I crammed my last sentence into the last part of the 2nd paper.. And I had nonfancy vocabs, small grammer errors, and scored a 12 :)
Yours is good sleepy... much much much better than mine</p>

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<p>haha thanks nofx! nice job on that 12!</p>

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<p>bump for anyone still interested</p>

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<p>Under ten minutes? I'll bite.</p>

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<p>An old adage states that it is best to "go with the flow"; indeed, in conformity lies safety. It is far easier to have someone else decide the course of life as opposed to gripping the reins. Society as a whole has a tendency to allow the opinions of others great sway, as evidenced in the reaction spurred by journalists concerning the sinking of the USS Maine. In John Knowles's novel, A Separate Peace, the character Gene proves that this is functions not only on a societal scale, but a personal one as well.</p>

<p>In the late 1800s, an entire war, the Spanish-American War, was fought over the sinking of the USS Maine. This event brought to light the concept of "yellow journalism". Though even at the time, the evidence was dubious at best, the media took up the story with a fervor, exaggerating the details until it seemed as though it had be a malicious, premeditated attack by the Spanish that sunk the ship. As such, the people of the United States were whipped into a frenzy as "Remember the Maine" became a country-wide motto, and the two countries engaged in a brief, but utterly needless war. The event demonstrated the willingness of the public to blindly accept what is being fed to them.</p>

<p>In A Separate Peace, the character of Gene proves the same to be true on a smaller scale. He holds his friend, the charismatic Phineas, in high regard, and when a fall from a tree crippled the latter, Gene not only allowed Phineas to influence him, he allowed Phineas to well-nigh dictate his life, offering little resistance as Phineas began to mold him into what Phineas had wanted to be. When accomplishing a goal that Phineas had set, Gene responds with elation at the approval of the former.</p>

<p>Yellow journalism depicts a society that is apt to ingest any pill they are fed. John Knowles's Gene demonstrates that not only does this hold true if the suggestion comes from many, a single person can affect the course of ones' life. Due to humanity's tendency to conform - to seek the approval of others - to think and act individualistically is rare. It is this conformity that stifles creativity and the advancement of the intellect, and must be resisted.</p>

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<p>Argh, 23 minutes all together. Oh well. Basically wrote off the cuff.</p>

<p>Rate, then?</p>

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<p>i really liked your essay entity, i thought it flowed well. i'd give it a 5.</p>

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<p>Aw, thanks!</p>

<p>Is it on a scale of 5 or 8 (the SAT)? I'm confused because I saw both used on this forum...</p>

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<p>well, on the SAT you receive two grades and the sum of which gives you your total scaled essay score which can be anywhere from 2-12. The score i gave you was your score in my solo opinion. </p>

<p>i'm sure you could ace a 12 on the real sat with some more practice. i could use a lot more practice myself :[</p>

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<p>Oh. Thanks for the explanation! I was getting quite discombobulated! XD</p>

<p>Any suggestions for improvement?</p>

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<p>Hm.. im not such a great essay write myself but.. a few nuggets of wisdom:</p>

<ul>
<li>Use transition words when going to a new paragraph (Similarly, Furthermore, Adding to..etc,)</li>
<li>Maybe a little bit more explanation to cushion the concrete details</li>
<li>Cut out ambiguous words/phrases</li>
</ul>

<p>that's pretty much all i can think of.. good luck!</p>

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<p>Thank you!</p>

<p>Hah, I usually like to polish my essays before submission, but couldn't be bothered to do that today. Was word choice adequate?</p>

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<p>yeah i think you proficiently used high level vocab throughout the essay. i dont like those essays that make it sound like the person is trying to hard to use vocab. i like well-placed vocab that fits. yours seems to do that pretty well :)</p>

<p>(then again this is all my opinion)</p>