<p>Not to get too personal here, but in generalities - how do you handle the "extras" with your cadet/mid?</p>
<p>Mine has money in the bank from working but it is dwindling. Her "measly" monthly pay has been spend on school supplies, trip to NYC etc.</p>
<p>I don't mind helping her if she needed it - to the extent that I can help. She is worried since she is in a competitive club and will be traveling that she will run out. She doesn't know yet what she will be responsible for.
I think for the most part she should be able to live on her monthly pay.
She also has siblings in college, who are borrowing money to help pay for school.
I don't want to sound like I am whining - just wondering if other SA parents have set guidelines, if and how they help out financially.</p>
<p>I think they are special kids with special needs who deserve special considerations. They have absolutely no opportunity for additional income. They are becoming adults and it is demeaning to call mom and dad to beg for money every time they need something. This was a few years back but I put a $200 allotment into my son's checking account every month, no questions, no explanations, no expectations. He ended up investing the majority of it and it became the basis of his retirement account.</p>
<p>Remember, Cancun and Speedo Cruise Lines are coming up in a few months.</p>
<p>JAM4: for my first boy, I bought a laptop for his HS grad gift. My USMA son had no need for this (or much else!), so instead I chose to give him the same amount of $$ spread over 12 months. This way he has a little extra when traveling. His cadet pay has barely been touched. The only significant $ he spent was on his Labor Day trip to NYC, and that was paltry. We are paying for tickets home for holidays. I think your daughter will find most of her club sport expenses covered. My son's coach said he only needed spending money for snacks on road trips.</p>
<p>Once cadets get full pay, they should be able to balance their budget fairly easily. I know I spent some of my savings the first two years. I still occasionally do, but I make sure I have enough saved to cover it. </p>
<p>...not that we don't appreciate a little extra money here and there...</p>
<p>I feel that how this is handled is totally up to what each family can/can't afford. Some families don't have anything extra to give each month. Just paying for travel can be a stretch for some.</p>
<p>We decided to put $50 into our son's checking account each month for him to spend however he chooses. I told him that we would do this throughout his 4 years. It also helped that he received a lot of cash for Christmas and his birthday last year. There wasn't much he could have in his room as a plebe so we figured just giving him the money made more sense.</p>
<p>The first year he spent much of his savings because his monthly take-home was low. Each year the take-home part of his goes up so it should be easier for him to not spend his savings.</p>
<p>Each family has to decide what works for them. We have done like USNA69. We sat down prior to going to the Academy and and looked at the financial aide statement from the Mids second and third choice schools - looked at both as they were from very different parts of the country. On those statements there was a line item for "spending money per year" Divided by nine months and came up with $200 per month. As stated since Mids have no opportunity to obtain outside pay we agreed to that amount per month for all 12 months since there would be no opportunity for summer employment either.</p>
<p>Like USNA69's son - mine has already started a money market account and will be buying his class ring and stone in the next few weeks. We are not paying tuition, housing, travel, books so we felt spending money was a nice thing to do.</p>
<p>To show his gratitude for the many financial sacrifices we made while he was growing up, our firstie son at USMA has sent home half of his pay each month and we've used it to dine out on those nights and weekends when we don't feel like eating the same-old-food at home.</p>
<p>Just kidding. But the absolute unbelievability of such a proposition does give you an idea of how our society has evolved during the last 50 years. </p>
<p>Seriously, cadets can be pretty much financially independent if they manage their monthly pay with the possible exception of travel expenses home during leave. The real challenge is during the first two years when the monthly pay is low. Once the cadet reaches the third year, the monthly pay increases and the cadet has access to up to $30k from the low interest cadet loan. </p>
<p>Most of the decision comes down to the parents' position on how much financial support their child is entitled to (and what they can afford) once they reach college age. </p>
<p>Our position has been that we will pay for transportation expenses when he comes home and he is responsible for everything else during his time at USMA. When he chose to go somewhere other than home on leave, he did so at his own expense. This arrangement has given him the financial and emotional independence (and maturity) that he (and we) want.</p>
<p>
[quote]
To show his gratitude for the many financial sacrifices we made while he was growing up, our firstie son at USMA has sent home half of his pay each month and we've used it to dine out on those nights and weekends when we don't feel like eating the same-old-food at home.
[/quote]
Aspen! This is what I was looking for! ;)</p>
<p>Actually - this:
[quote]
Seriously, cadets can be pretty much financially independent if they manage their monthly pay
[/quote]
gives me hope.</p>
<p>I think the plebes are getting less than before since they have decided to start taking out money for the class ring (which I am ok with).</p>
<p>I think just the shock of seeing her first two paychecks disappear freaked her out. I didn't really think about it before since I thought she could get by on her pay or at least be close.
I guess we have to see what he club sport is going to cost her. Having made 5 trips to West Point since mid-August has had my pocketbook reeling. While I can't really commit to a hefty allowance - I can visit more than most parents and that comes with perks - ;)
I don't have an objection to helping - I simply lack resources.</p>
<p>I feel a little guilty denying her extras since she is at West Point but her sisters in college have to work and borrow and I can't really give them extras.
She does know after graduation she will be much better off financially than her sibs as she won't have debt.</p>
<p>I'd tell you not to feel guilty but my experiene has taught me that a part of a mom's nature is to feel guilty.</p>
<p>I will assure you that your daughter's experience of seeing her paychecks dissappear was a valuable lesson. Wait til she files her tax return and finds out that Uncle Sam is into her paycheck.</p>
<p>It's amazing how easy parents' money spends compared to "her" money. I remember one of my son's first trips to NYC after which he commented that he had spent over $100 and didn't do anything. I told him, " Welcome to the real world." He now has a much better appreciation for the value of a dollar and has learned to be pretty creative when spending "his" money.</p>
<p>Given our sons and daughters will never get wealthy as military officers, I think it's essential that they learn to live within their means as much as possible during their cadet years.</p>
<p>We pay for our cadet's travel expenses home for leaves, and have told him that if he chooses to travel elsewhere...and we approve...we'll donate what we would have paid for him to come home towards the trip. We send "boodle" regularly and slip a little "pizza" money in occasionally. He is living well within his means, even stopped eating out too much when he realized how costly it is. He is extremely proud of how well he is managing his money, and is enjoying seeing his account grow over time as he saves. Of course when he is home there is always the shopping trip for essentials......:)</p>
<p>Its a great opportunity for them to learn the financial realities of the real world. We paid for our cadets travel to and from WP to the West Coast until the mid-point of her Yuk year, although we never give her money above that for any other living expenses while she is there. Since then she has arranged her own flights and paid her own way with what she makes. Frankly, it was a headache trying to coordinate flights from our end not always knowing what her TEE schedule was going to be--it was soooo much less complicated to just let her handle all that. She's pretty frugal and I was pleasantly surprised she could make it work with what the Army pays her.</p>
<p>JAM4: I am wondering what your daughter is spending so much on? My son has spent <$250 since he's been there, and that included a trip to NYC. Maybe girls just spend more! Does she eat out of the dining hall a good bit? Mine isn't doing that much at all.</p>
<p>Just trying to remember what the money 'eaters' were. To help mine survive the dark ages, I insisted he join the ski club. Nearly had to go up and drag him out of bed the first trip but, after that, he never missed a trip. That alone ate a lot of money. The Mid Store is not cheap. Hint. Hint. Base Exchange is a lot cheaper. Of course, those profits do not go back directly to the midshipmen but it does save money. I think my kid ate out a lot. When teams missed evening meal in King Hall, I think the tendency was the Steerage instead. Anyway, he did save a lot. And saved me a lot also. JAMo4, instead of looking at how much the other girls are going into debt, look at how much out of pocket you have to each. Does your cadet deserve less?</p>
<p>Someone mentioned the loan. I think using the loan for living expenses commences a bad example. Kind of like credit cards. Living on borrowed money.</p>
<p>I think many plebes envision a fun car w/ the $$...hopefully the thought process matures before the $$ becomes available. My friends w/ girls in traditional universities are spending way more than I do for my first son; girls have always cost more...why should it be any different at a SA?</p>
<p>May I ask how much $$ the cadets get each month?</p>
<p>USNA:
at the end of the funny-money trail, the plebes see about $100 in their pockets each month-
$200 for 3C,
$300 for 2C
and $400 for firsties.</p>
<p>We suppliment based on what we thought was/is needed:
$100/month Plebe year (they can't go far)
$200/month 3C year (only because of the non-food food issue)
$150/month this year (gas has gone up, so I equate it to 2 tank-fulls for a thirsty Jeep)
??? for firstie year (we will see)</p>
<p>We bought the car- he buys the gas.
We are buying the ring.
He buys his books and pays for any "fun" over and above the mandated stuff.
We pay for the occassional tickets home- which, thankfully, are reasonable and cost far less than the car/toll/time equivilant.</p>
<p>In the end, this is costing me a whole lot less than the $160K it cost for our daughter to go to school.... and that was just for tuition, room and board! Books, spending $$$, travel home.... all extra... not to mention clothes.... there is a lot to be said for uniforms!!!!! </p>
<p>The 30K "loan" will be his to invest- wisely I hope.</p>
<p>We have bought our twins' tickets home ($965 for the trip for TG!!!), and at PW, we spent $250 at Walmart, stocking up their protein and junk food supplies. We bought their phones and their first 300 minutes. Now, they want phones with a monthly service. We'll give toward that goal, a little, but won't fund it fully since we feel with email, facebook, AIM, etc., a fully-funded phone for the gf back home isn't completely necessary.</p>
<p>We want them to save as much of their money as possible- I hope they are!</p>