I’m currently in good shape to get into my dream school: Northwestern. I have a strong connection to the Chicago area (born in Evanston), but I live in Kansas City. I go to one of the best high schools in the country, where I take a rigorous courseload. Next year, my senior year, I’m going to be editor-in-chief of the school newspaper. I’ve been a varsity debater for two years and will be again next year. I’ve gone to State in speech for the last two years (likely this year and the next as well) and I’ve been to nationals once so far. I’m also a member of Science National Honor Society, National History Honor Society, and National Honor Society. I’m also an officer for several clubs.
My problem is this: I’m being emotionally abused by my father. Yesterday, he checked me into the ER to “get rid of me for a couple days.” When I was released a few hours later, diagnosed with depression, he refused to talk to me. He frequently tells me I’m going to fail in life and that everyone will hate me. Whenever I ask for help, he mocks me and calls me stupid or a baby. I’ve been dealing with it for the last two and a half years in order to continue my school.
However, I don’t think I can do it anymore. I want to move back in with my mother for my mental health, but the high school I’d attend is not of the same quality. My entire resume would vanish as they don’t offer any of my activities. Would a college understand why I stopped everything? Or would they see me as a slacker?
If I talk to a school counselor about it, they’re legally required to report it to CPS or some other authority. That then takes the decision out of my hands, and I want to be involved in making this choice for myself.
I don’t know a whole lot on the issue, but you might want to contact CPS (or have your school do it) - emotional abuse and similar acts can warrant it. It might be harder to prove than a case of physical abuse though.
First things first. Keep priorities in mind. Your well being is first. Get out of there. I can’t tell if there is something CPS reportable, but if you can move to your mother’s go ahead and do that. I don’t understand why you haven’t done that already. If there is something CPS reportable, it may be to your benefit to have that on record.
You should not live your life for getting into any specific college. Your future does not depend on it. Also colleges are not stupid, admissions is their business. Do you really think they are unaware that different high schools have differing level of opportunities? You can make opportunities for yourself and do things on your own. Colleges don’t penalize kids who come from not as good HS. They look for kids who can make things happen and who make the most of what is available and you seem well suited to do that.
Also you are going to file FAFSA in Jan using the income of the parent you live with most. For colleges (like NU) that requires both parent income, you will need the 2nd parent to fill out the Non Custodial parent profile with that information, in order to get any aid from them. Do you anticipate any problem with your father supplying income info? What about if you report him to CPS? But if you are removed from the house by CPS, you might qualify for a waiver of his information.
Get help. You are more important than school or anything I promise. There is a section on the Commonapp to explain special circumstances. Use it to explain this! Email the admissions office also to explain and when you get to your new school, get INVOLVED and kick ass! NU will admire you. They love students with character and after you get help and kick ass at your new school, I’m positive I will see you on campus:)
-A super excited, recently accepted future Northwestern student:)))
Go talk to you guidance counselor. This is not something you should be dealing with by yourself. Your dad needs help…and you need to be out of that environment. Also do you really have depression? or are the symptoms a side effect of abuse? Or maybe you do but your Dad doesn’t know how to deal? Either way, this is unhealthy for you.
In any case, on your common app there is a section for “anything else we need to know”. This where your GC would put that you moved your senior year and these options were not available. But you seems like the kind of person that would find/create some leadership opportunities.
If your mother lives close enough to your current high school for you to drive there on a daily basis, it’s possible they will let you stay. I also know people who move out of district but never tell the school. Surely your father wouldn’t prohibit you from using his address, or parking at his house to get to school however you do now? It seems like it would solve both of your problems…