@redandblack , I am much more sensitive to your quandary than others have posted.
I suggest to you that doubting a decision is a sign of a thoughtful and intelligent person who sees both sides of the situation. I’ll also point out that you DID make the decision most have recommended. And I bet if you’d chosen the other way, you’d doubt that too.
Doubting a decision doesn’t mean you made the wrong one. Not doubting it would be more troubling to me. The Road Less Traveled and all that… You’re smart, thoughtful, and you made a mature, safe and practical decision.
@redandtheblack – what you’re going through is normal. You’re human, and you’d love to impress people by saying you attend the hoity toity private. Most of us would too. So, first, don’t be hard on yourself.
Second, your resume won’t just say “Ohio State”. It will say “xxxxxx-Scholarship Recipient at Ohio State.” Grad schools and employers will be impressed.
So will the professors at OSU who know what it takes to get this honor: you will instantly stand out. So will the folks offering you internships thanks to OSU’s and your professors’ extensive connections. You will have opportunities the average student at the hoity toity private may not.
Fast forward four years. You’ve had a great education, opportunities and are graduating with a job offer. You tell your prospective employer, I’m not available until August. And then you hit the road for a month or two – be it Europe, Asia or South America – because you saved some money during your paid internships (thanks to OSU) because you’re debt-free (thanks to OSU) and because you have a job waiting for you when you get back (thanks to OSU.)
I hope it won’t take you four years to realize what an amazing piece of “luck” (in quotation marks, because it’s really the result of your hard work) you’ve had by landing at OSU. But even if it does, I think it will really sink in during that summer after graduation. When your debt-burdened friends who went to the hoity toity private are working because they have to because payment for their loans are kicking in. And you’re on top of Montmartre overlooking Paris. Or on a safari in Tanzania. Or floating on a canoe in the magical Ha Long Bay in Vietnam.
My thought is – by then you’ll think. Man, I have it good!
One of our family friends’ daughter recently had to face a tough decision: attend an in-state university (very good one) for cheap or attend an OOS prestigious private college (but not HYPSM) that would cost the family approximately $300,000 by the time she graduates with a soc sci undergrad degree that won’t do her much good in terms of a decent employment unless she moves on to get a grad degree. Being a VERY brand-conscious family, they opted for the latter. When I asked my boy, who’s a junior, how he’d have decided if it were his own case, he said without any hesitation that he’d have saved US, his parents, money by choosing the in-state. I was very proud of him, needless to say. He’s always been considerate of what we had to go through in raising him and his older brother, so much hard work and sacrifice. His older brother, too, opted to take an in-state university over a more prestigious private university without even a complaint. There are some kids who do get it and then there are those who feel they’re entitled to everything parents own, even eroding away at their parents’ retirement savings. We do not envy that girl’s family decision whatsoever, let me tell you that! $300,000, oh my, good luck!!
Another silver lining is that you probably will have money to go to concerts and eat out. A lot of kids taking on heavy debt at private institutions are sticking to the free activities and eating ramen because they and their parents are at their limits. They won’t be able to afford the spring break trips or study abroad opportunities. It’s a lot more fun to go to college without constantly having to worry about covering expenses.
I doubt OP will be the smartest one there (not to diss OP’s smarts!). Just that not all the smartest kids are at some Ivy school.
To be able to graduate debt free from a good school with a great alumni base, ability to afford study abroad and participate in other opportunities that a large university provides is a great gift.
Congrats! Great opportunity at a wonderful school. No debt for you or your parents. If college selection and choice were done in a Vegas casino, you just hit a jackpot at a slot machine!
(I’m the one watching you cash out your machine with envy!)
I understand how you might feel-- don’t listen to the people who say “shut up, your problems aren’t that bad!” because it’s okay to be disappointed or uncertain! Good luck in your future endeavors
@redandblack, did you receive any perks with your scholarship? My daughter attends one of our in-state public universities as a member of their Honors College program and really appreciates the additional opportunities and attention she receives. The early enrollment privilege that Honors students enjoy is worth it alone!
You just made the smartest decision of your life, which will affect the rest of your life in an extremely positive way. My daughter is graduating next month from her dream college ($$$). She now says all of the 12th-grade hype and angst about prestige was way overblown. College goes by quickly…the debt lasts for decades.
My son is in the same boat right now. He chose the state flagship. I would have had buyers remorse for him either way. I had to go back and remind myself of all the reasons he made the decision…not only debt-free but also research opportunities, money for travel abroad, small classes in the honors program. Not only that, but I can’t imagine the stress/academic pressure of knowing how much you and your family had on the line. I know a student who chose the more expensive route, and even though he was highly qualified, failed a class. It happens. Now there’s an extra semester looming and the immense pressure/guilt he has to deal with.
My older son “knew” what he wanted to do since 1st grade. Then 1 semester into college he decided to change his major. He transferred to a different school that had the program he now wants. Nobody thought he would ever change his mind about his major, but because he was in-state he was free to change schools without guilt.
And the people trying to make you feel guilty b/c other people would love to be in your shoes; that’s not really helpful. It is a real emotion and you’ve worked hard for years to get to this decision-making point. But there is truth in the fact that, as soon as you walk out of those high school doors in the very near future, it won’t matter nearly as much
You may want to consider taking the college that will cost you $35k. After all you need to be happy. Happy students are successful students. You sound so unhappy. That’s not good.
My kids could never have thrived a state school. It’s too big and impersonal. They want to meet with professors at any time and be in smaller classrooms. They also want to be in an environment where they feel like at home. Big universities have huge weed outs and they would have hated that.
The way I look at this is a state college would have cost you around $35k and a private would have cost $65k. So you are getting a private for the cost of a state rate. That’s awesome!
However you have to make sure you can handle this financially. No one can tell you what is best for you. Only you know that.
