<p>I'm a senior at one of the top conservatories. I'm applying to grad school and setup a lesson with a prospective teacher from another top school in the area. The lesson should be taking place in about 3 weeks. However, I was talking with my teacher and he doesn't think this school/studio will be a great fit for me just because of teaching/playing styles and also because he somehow seemed to be saying that this overall prospective school is not quite as good as the school I'm at now and the studio I'd be in wouldn't be quite as strong as staying where I am/the other schools on my list (5 schools), which is definitely true from talking to people who have been at both places. It also seems that this teacher is very very busy, and doesn't really teach what I am interested in (orchestra).</p>
<p>So I do tend to agree, and the school was more of a safety anyways (especially financial) since I have full scholarship now and I'm not sure I would get it back while the other school would be free. </p>
<p>I don't think I should have the lesson with the prospective teacher now, because it's true that maybe I shouldn't apply and I don't want to waste anybody's time. I feel awkward about applying if my teacher doesn't think I should, especially because I would def. have to tell him I am applying (don't usually keep stuff from him but would need his recommendation letter anyway if I do decide to so he would have to be fully aware that I am going against his will). I love my teacher and we have a great relationship. He suggested other great schools that I could add to my list if I take this one out. I have learned so much from him and I completely trust him to have by best interest in mind. </p>
<p>The problem is how do I get out of the lesson and tell the other teacher I won't apply anymore? We talked about setting up the lesson about 1.5 months ago. They are very well-known and powerful in the field and I wouldn't want to burn bridges or seems rude, but I also don't want to apply anymore.</p>
<p>So if you do the lesson, you are afraid of offending your current teacher, and if you don’t do the lesson, you are afraid of offending the potential teacher?</p>
<p>It seems as if you have already decided not to apply to that school. Is that okay financially?</p>
<p>Is interpersonal politics really this tricky? I have dealt with a teacher who got prickly when one of my kids went elsewhere, certainly.</p>
<p>Does your current teacher want you to stay with him for grad school? Is his concern that you remain in a prestigious program that continues his style of teaching? Is he reluctant to let you go? Are you mainly concerned about the letter of recommendation or are you afraid of losing the relationship?</p>
<p>I don’t see how there can be anything wrong with taking the lesson. You can just say that sometimes exploring what you don’t want can be as clarifying as pursuing what you do want. Doing the lesson may make giving up the financial aid easier, in the long run-?</p>
<p>On the other hand, if you (not your teacher, you) truly do not want to apply and truly do not want to do the lesson, just go ahead and explain that you have decided to apply to fewer schools, or something like that.</p>
<p>Basically, you have two choices: do the lesson or not. But you can temper ill effects by how your present your choice to the relevant teacher.</p>
<p>My teacher said he would love for me to stay but he is definitely helping me leave as well (suggested other schools and teacher, encouraged lessons with people from the other schools, is recommending me for those schools). My teacher definitely listens to me a lot and really puts my interest and desires first when making decisions about summer stuff, auditions, repertoire, etc… even phrasing and fingerings he never dictates things and always tries to get me thinking about what I want, why I want it, how to get it (unless what I want doesn’t make any sense). So if he says I shouldn’t go, I think I trust him with that. He would write the letter if I asked of course, but probably would be confused as to why I am not listening to him. I wasn’t particularly excited about that particular studio but I was definitely excited about the school at large for personal but not musical reasons so I’m not sure it would be a step in the right direction. I have two other schools on my list that are also free and hopefully I will get my scholarship back, so I think it might be OK. I actually would love to still take the lesson because I want to meet this teacher and hear what he has to say for sure, but I feel like it would be so rude to not apply after the lesson. It’s too bad but it seems that sample lessons are only meant for the teacher to “sample you” not the other way around.</p>
<p>To be honest (and having been through this with my daughter) I think you could either take the lesson (because you are truly interested in hearing what he has to say) or cancel it, and apply or not and the teacher will not mind. He likely has hundreds of prospective students clamoring for his attention. As long as you are polite and professional in your correspondence and behavior, he’s unlikely to hold it against you. There are lots of fish in this sea. :)</p>
<p>Well said, glass harmonica. My only addition would be that if you decide to cancel, do not wait until the last minute. Somehow, all teachers remember a no-show or last minute cancellation - and miraculously, that will be the teacher that adjudicates an event in which you perform.</p>
<p>I don’t think that there is anything wrong with canceling the lesson and telling that teacher that you have narrowed the list of schools that you are applying to, and thanking him or her for being willing to give you a lesson.</p>