<p>Anyone else have a hard time transitioning from living away at the dorms, to coming back home? I find myself fighting a lot more with my parents than I remember doing in high school. I guess it's hard to get used to living at home after being away. Anyone have similar experiences, or advice?</p>
<p>I definitely had this problem, my parents are very strict and I never went to parties in high school, not once. I was so sheltered I didn't even know they existed. So I never came home late, or anything like that while in high school. Once I came home from college, I was like "....um, I'll be home when I'm home". They tried to control me alot, and it took about a month and a half, but they eventually let up when I told them something like "I'll try to be home by 1 and I'll call if it's later than that". Anything like that will help because they will feel like they still have some control over the situation. This is my second summer home from college and they are much more chill. Give it some time and it will get better. =)</p>
<p>Well, for me, it lasts the WHOLE time. It's August, and I am counting down the days to when I go back to college:) The summer after freshman year is really hard. With my parents, problems with friends, and transferring...gosh it's been tough! But, my summer has basically been, be out of the house as much as possible...sleep when not out of the house...and avoid conflict at all costs. Trust me. Even if they're driving you nuts, just try and come up with a solution on your own. Otherwise, it gets worse.</p>
<p>You guys are scaring me...</p>
<p>In the meantime I'm counting down the days til I leave for frosh year. It looks like all paperwork til then, and maybe one concert in the middle. That's my summer.</p>
<p>^ me too sleepyman.</p>
<p>...this is the exact reason i didn't go home this summer (summer after freshman yr.)</p>
<p>My post-freshman-year summer will be over in 2 weeks! After coming home I didn't get into arguments with my parents, but it was definitely hard at first. Well, it still is, but I had a HUGE adjustment period where I didn't even want to unpack my clothes, stop living out a suitcase, and actually USE my closet as though I actually lived at home. I felt very antsy, bored, and easily irritated. Not much to do about it except do your best to distract yourself and find things to do...no use arguing either, since it only makes your time at home feel even longer.</p>
<p>"...this is the exact reason i didn't go home this summer (summer after freshman yr.)"</p>
<p>Does room/board cost about the same in the summer? (three months worth).</p>
<p>Also, is it boring on-campus in the summer since most people went back home?</p>
<p>man, I am counting the days 'till I'm a freshman. I despise living in my house with my parents. They are being so ridiculous at this moment. Why are they being so strict and ridiculous with me in the last week before I leave to college?
9 days left!</p>
<p>@danny_125</p>
<p>probably because they're going to miss you and want you to be around...</p>
<p>"but they eventually let up when I told them something like "I'll try to be home by 1 and I'll call if it's later than that". Anything like that will help because they will feel like they still have some control over the situation."</p>
<p>For most parents, the above isn't a matter of control. It's a matter of courtesy-- the same kind that would be expected of any adult guest. It's also a matter of safety. People do get into accidents and also become crime victims. If people know when to expect you at home, they also know when to worry and/or call the police if it seems you've gone missing. </p>
<p>It's normal for me to let family members know where I'm going and approximately when I'll be back. If I decide to come back later, I'll call home to let them know. All of my family members including H and S, 20, who's home for the summer, do the same.</p>
<p>It's not a matter of trying to control anyone. No one is asking permission to stay out late.</p>
<p>As of senior prom, S no longer had a curfew. We just asked that he let us know where he was going and when he'd be in.</p>
<p>It has been a delight having S home for the summers. He is treated like an adult. He follows our house rules for adults who are longterm guests-- helping out with chores, letting us know when he'll be in. Asking if it's OK to invite friends over late at night (We have no problem with this, just don't want to be surprised by visitors.) </p>
<p>Asking if it's OK to have parties We have no problem with this either as long as we don't have something else scheduled at home for that time, and as long as the parties follow the house rules, which means no drugs or alcohol. I know some of S's friends drink underage (They've told me), but I haven't seen any evidence that they do so here. I presume that if they want to underage drink, they go elsewhere.</p>
<p>It has been a joy having S home for the summer, and I will really miss him when he returns to college next week.</p>
<p>Nice post, Northstarmom. It is a matter of courtesy and safety, not control. After all, it is still the parents that bear the brunt of handling crises (until the child is married I guess, no experience yet in that respect).</p>
<p>yeah, definitely.
I had a thread sorta related to this
<a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/539179-anybody-dealing-curfew-during-summer.html%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/539179-anybody-dealing-curfew-during-summer.html</a></p>
<p>Everything else, I'm doing alright. But the CURFEWWWW. eck, well least I'm done with work and don't have outings that much anyhow since I don't meet those people that often anymore. T_T</p>
<p>no problems. I love going home. I think I have a better relationship with my parents now</p>
<p>yeah, i love my parents, i really enjoy them as people, independent of being their offspring. but living with them this summer would have been torture. they don't even ask me where i'm going or anything, i just cannot stand the feeling of regression that comes with moviing back home. i'm living with my sister in her house this summer and even though that's been tricky in it's own right- i think it saved my reakltionship with my parents. my advice, no matter how much you like your parents, iving with them again after having left is never good for the relationship- make plans to avoid it if at all possible.</p>
<p>It's about communication and respect. They don't want to lose their little baby but they expect you to be more mature as well. Tell them where you'll be, don't be loud if you come home late, and make at least one day a week to sit down for a meal with them and catch up.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Does room/board cost about the same in the summer? (three months worth).</p>
<p>Also, is it boring on-campus in the summer since most people went back home?
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Well see actually I'm staying off campus in apartments this summer, my freshman year was spent in the dorms though. And at my school off campus is generally cheaper than on campus [with a roommate(s) that is]... so my pay is less. </p>
<p>But yes, my town is basically nothing but the college... and with few people here in the summer, and when you know even fewer people staying in the summer, it does get boring at times. It's definitely different than the fall/spring when you have the clubs you are in, sports events, more parties, etc.</p>
<p>This summer was my first spent away from home, and i loved it. I'm not part of a fraternity, but i rented a room in the frat house this summer because it was $700 for three months (my internship covered the cost anyways).</p>
<p>I had an amazing time, since most of my friends were also around for the summer. I can't see myself going home now, the independence has been awesome.</p>
<p>I never had issues returning home. I actually really enjoy it (although I'm almost always ready to go back to school as the break draws to a close). My parents are very trusting of me (whether rightfully or not is a different matter) and have always given me a lot of freedom... I was basically completely autonomous once I got my car at 16. I'm also part of a large family so it's never boring at home. </p>
<p>I say enjoy it if you can. See old friends... take advantage of the free food and cost of living.</p>
<p>"It's normal for me to let family members know where I'm going and approximately when I'll be back. If I decide to come back later, I'll call home to let them know. All of my family members including H and S, 20, who's home for the summer, do the same."</p>
<p>Good advice from Northstarmom. It's the most responsible way to deal with "dynamic curfews," as I'd call them. Giving your parents an expected time for return is better than simply saying "I'll be back whenever." If I were out and about, and I saw that I was going to be out later than what I had told my parents, I'd just call back and estimate when I'd be back, or let them know of any changes in plans.</p>