<p>For someone who is going to be leaving away and be shunned by their family, I want to plan things out appropriately so that I don't fail at my change in lives.</p>
<p>-Healthcare/insurance. Is there affordable healthcare for students whose parents will no longer be providing healthcare? What are the estimated costs?</p>
<p>-FAFSA. So long as I have my parents' income and SSN, I can renew it every year until graduation so long as the info is the same, correct?</p>
<p>What books are good to understand the "adult" things about life. I don't know how many things I need to sort out before I leave (birth certificate?). Things like credit, contracts, etc. Any good books?</p>
<p>Most colleges have insurance for students if you dont have any. It is generally affordable by adult standards, but ask your college. </p>
<p>Make certain you have original (raised state seal copy) of your birth certificate, drivers license, social security card – get as much as this as possible, because replacing one is doable, more than one is tough. Passport if you have one. </p>
<p>Make certain you have good address book, with phone numbers and contact info not only of your friends, but school, former employers, etc. </p>
<p>Will you be living in dorms? Ask school if they have dorms where you can stay over break – many do for int’l students. </p>
<p>Try for as long as you can to stay in dorm, avoid having to sign lease, etc. </p>
<p>FAFSA will be a problem as the information won’t be the same from year to year. You need to insert their Adjusted Gross Income from their taxes for the previous year. This will never be exactly the same from year to year. Your FA office may be able to suggest ways to work around this.
You should have your birth certificate, passport (if you have one), social security card, immunization cards (if applicable) before you leave.<br>
Is there any way to patch at least some communication with your family?</p>
<p>You will find a lot of practical info- checklists- on CC for what to get for the dorm since your family won’t remind you. Be careful with a credit card- it could be easy to go into significant debt. I sometimes think my son is shunning me for the amount of contact he wants so I know some students are not relying on parents’ help much. This means that once you get there you will find a whole new group of people to spend time with and learn from. Check with your school about health insurance and remember there is always some kind of student health center, counseling center. Get the above posted info and also get a copy of your health records- allergies, immunizations (and dates), any significant injuries, problems, etc. Try to get any dental, eye or other exams done through your parents one last time if they permit. When you reach campus you may want to have a chat with your resident advisor (or whatever they are called at your school) letting him/her know your situation- ie that your parents choose to shun you (and why) so s/he can be a resource/support person in lieu of parents. International students face many of the same issues due to the distances from home so they should have skills in dealing with “orphaned” students. Good luck and congratulations on going to college.</p>
<p>Thanks a lot everyone. Unfortunately, I think it will be an ultimatum: either you do as we say or you are not our child anymore.</p>
<p>I won’t be 18 by the time school starts…is it illegal for me to buy a plane ticket and fly to school with my stuff packed? I’m worried everything might go south if that’s the case.</p>
<p>You can buy your plane ticket at an airport ticket counter with cash if you don’t have a credit card and anyone 15 or older can fly alone. You have a lot of things to worry about but don’t worry about the trip itself. </p>
<p>If you are even a bit religious, visit the Newman Center or Hillel or a group that is your denomination at college when you get there - the older students and adults in these groups will be willing to provide an extra bit of support for you.</p>
<p>It’s not illegal but your parents have the power to prevent you from doing it – that is, they could report you as a “runaway” and have the police pick you up. Also you might have some difficulty getting a credit card (if you don’t already have one) and buying the ticket. (So plan carefully)</p>
<p>You might consider catching a ride with another student rather than flying – Craigslist will have plenty of options for ride shares.</p>
<p>When do you turn 18? Is it an option for you to defer admission until spring semester, or is the situation at home too unbearable at this point?</p>
<p>I don’t think Berkeley defers admissions to a later term and that could stall my graduation which would in turn impact the financial aspect of it all negatively.</p>
<p>I turn eighteen only TWO WEEKS after classes start. (I know, lucky timing lol).</p>
<p>Hang in there- I think I know the “jw” reference. You may try to go by bus from S to N CA-not fun but an option. Now is the time to get to know other kids from your home area who are also going there. You may be able to arrange transportation with someone. Also, consider shipping things to arrive when you do if you have too much to manage. Now is the time to network with the wider community than the one your parents chose for you. Things will work out for you. Too bad I’m a bit far to physically do anything for you…</p>
<p>Aw wis75. You’re so nice. Haha. I wish there were people like you in the area. </p>
<p>I think I’m going to take only the bare necessities and sell stuff off on eBay a few weeks before that I don’t really need (there won’t be a use for it at home anyway) and then just buy the other items there when I get there.</p>
<p>So you have experience with “us/them”? Haha.</p>
<p>About getting new items–check Craiglist and Freecycle for free things. Free furniture, free televisions, free anything you can get your hands on. You would be surprised how much household items cost if you buy them all brand new. If you absolutely cannot find something for free, go to a thrift store.</p>
<p>There are a lot of people like wis75 out there, if you can connect with them. Hooking up with other kids in the area also going to your school might help you find a ride and maybe someone else’s parents who will help you out. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Is there a school counselor who could provide you with advice/support before you leave? </p>
<p>I had a student many years ago in your situation. This was a student I had in class every semester for 4 yrs. I didn’t discover the family situation until sophomore year, but student was an only child in a single-parent household who was also shunned, probably for the same reason you anticipate. Student was completely on his/her own for four years of college, although there were grandparents nearby who were supportive but couldn’t help out financially. That student is now very successful, living in Europe, with 3 beautiful children. I am still in touch from time to time. I might also add that the parent eventually came around (many years later) and they now communicate. Good luck to you. I’m sure this whole process has not been easy and leaving will not be easy either, but you sound like you have all the tools to be successful and achieve your dreams.</p>
<p>If you get copies of your medical records you’ll need to address the whole no blood transfusions/organ donation thing with the student health center. If you want to continue having a ban on those, make sure they know that. If you no longer want those options banned in case of emergency make sure those notations are removed from your records.</p>
<p>“FAFSA. So long as I have my parents’ income and SSN, I can renew it every year until graduation so long as the info is the same, correct”</p>
<p>I believe you’ll need each year’s tax return from them. If they literally will shun you, my advice is to rethink your plans because you’re going to have a difficult if not impossible time getting financial aid.</p>
<p>Also think about where you’ll live during semester breaks when the college is closed, and how you’ll support yourself then.</p>
<p>Since your sexual orientation is why your family will shun you, get advice from the LGBTQ organization at your university or in your community. You can get good advice from people who’ve been in your situation.</p>
I’d point out that Stressed is a California resident attending a UC campus – it is feasible, though difficult, for a student to pay their own way if it comes to that. It might mean having to take off a semester here and there to work --and taking longer than anticipated to graduate - and really cutting corners on lifestyle – but it is possible.</p>
You’re so nice. Haha. I wish there were people like you in the area. </p>