Living "Out-of-State"

<p>So i'm going to be applying for college this year, to both in-state and out-of-state colleges, and I was hoping that maybe those who have left their home state to attend an "out-of-state" college can maybe give me an insight into the experience. I know I want to get out of the house...but going out of state seems to bring a lot of problems...so if you could also explain some of the challenges OOS colleges give and tips on how to overcome them.</p>

<p>Well, what kinds of problems are you talking about? I went out of state and the only thing it means for me is that I only go home on breaks. Although I'm also not outside of driving distance so it's not like I have to take a plane or something. </p>

<p>Other than money the difference between OOS and IS aren't that much, it's all about distance. You can be in state and 6 hours away or out of state and 3 hours away. Or OOS and 10 hours away.</p>

<p>...or our of state and days away...</p>

<p>I think it all depends on you level of dependence on your family. If you are the type that is used to always being near your family and being away from them gives you anxiety issues, you may want to start off within a distance where you can get home on weekends if you want. Beyond that getting used to new locations and cultures is about the only real obstacles I can think of, that and having to be totally independent of your family (unless you have the type of parents that will write you checks, send cash, or reload your school debit account... if so I hate you and give me some!)</p>

<p>Well, I did leave the question pretty open-ended...</p>

<p>I guess I'm more worried about the myriad of tiny challenges OOS gives vs the common ones-- I'm not entirely dependent on my family and I don't think I would get homesick. What makes me anxious I guess is things like getting dorm items to the college, finding new health providers (dentist/doctor/optomotrist), dealing with new state laws, the possibility of not liking the college/area (I won't be able to see the campuses before I apply) Plus, finding somewhere to live if I move out of dorms would be easier in California because my parents could help more/finding a bank near campus/etc I guess these worries are pretty insignificant but they make me anxious...</p>

<p>What kind of problems are you concerned about?</p>

<p>Lala was right about dependence on family, as well as cost of travel. Those are probably the biggest obstacles for being OOS. I'm across the country, so I have to fly to get home, which is obviously pricey... but I'm ok with not going home except for the holidays etc. </p>

<p>Other than that, there are only a few issues which are usually more minor or circumstantial. I have an allergy that requires occasional doctor visits, so I've had to find a new doctor in my current city, and my roommate is the master of illnesses and minor injuries so she's had to go to the hospital several times with only me accompanying her. Also a hassle--storing belongings during summers and having to ship things back and forth rather than drive. </p>

<p>Essentially, if you're independent and able to handle things on your own, it's not hard, but there are some inconveniences that go along with it.</p>

<p>**edit: ^^you beat me to it...</p>

<p>Going to college out of state is probably one of the best decisions I've ever made.</p>

<p>That said, it's also quite expensive</p>

<p>Thanks Emily -- that's what I was looking for. And Mr. Bojangles-- that's the reason why I'm even thinking of applying OOS...it seems like it will be a liberating experience vs going to a college that is like an hour away. </p>

<p>Anyone else have any thoughts on this?</p>

<p>I go to college 3000 miles away from my home, and I only get to visit during winter and summer breaks. I haven't encountered a major problem at all. I don't really get homesick at all, there are loads to do on my campus, etc. The biggest issue is definitely transportation. With no car and no ability to drive home on the weekends like many other students, you are kind-of stuck if you don't have any $ to spend. Plus there is the hassle of having to buy most everything once you get here, versus shipping your entire closet over. (But IMO these are minute, unimportant problems if you can avoid homesickness).</p>

<p>I went to school out-of-state. It was the best decision for me.</p>

<p>I did not have homsickness issues which surprised me initially. I lived 6 hours away from home in another state. If I wanted to talk to my parents, I just pick up the phone and dialed them. I visited home during the breaks.</p>

<p>College is an opportunity to chart your own path in the real world. A safe place to make mistakes and learn from them. Improve your time management and organization skills (prioritize your bills and appointments for instance). I knew I couldn't be dependent on my parents much longer.</p>

<p>Summing up your list of the challenges you see, I think it all boils down to "tolerance of ambiguity". Some people are comfortable setting off not knowing all the answers; they figure they'll be able to handle things as they arise. Others want to know everything in advance, or at least know that everything is all arranged for. I'm guessing you fall in the latter camp.</p>

<p>My advice is that going away can be the best thing for you. Later in life (and its not that far down the road) you're going to face situations that have unavoidable ambiguity, meaning you can't know the right answer in advance (and it may never be knowable). Which is the best career to start in? Go to grad school? What city to live in? And hosts of smaller decisions in which you'll have to make choices on incomplete information.</p>

<p>Confidence isn't something you have or don't have. It varies by situation, and you build it up by making decisions and discovering you can live with the consequences (good or bad). If you hold back from making these small decisions now you'll just end up terrified when you have to make larger ones.</p>

<p>So, look. Colleges have health care, and you can find dentists and the like in the phone book or by asking your fellow students where they go. Don't like one, go to another. Kids find apartments all the time when they leave the dorms, they don't rely on their parents to do it for them. So can you. You can spend hours worrying over all this now when you're in absolutely no place where you can resolve things. Or you can handle them as they arise, tolerating the ambiguity of knowing there's loose ends you'll need to take care of in a few months.</p>

<p>Thanks everyone--all of these posts are really helpful! All of the colleges I'm applying to OOS are long shots anyways, but the doors aren't closed yet...</p>

<p>I really appreciate all the help!</p>

<p>I'd like to hear from more!</p>

<p>I had to decide between Rutgers (my state U) and Suny- Binghamton. I went to Binghamton because too many people I was friends with in high school went to rutgers. At Suny-B there are definintely alot of people that knew each other from hs (3 of my friends are from the same high school) but its still pretty easy to make friends with people even if they know each other from before hand. It also takes a little bit of time to get adjusted to the way of life, I know friends of mine that hated schools like south carolina and kutztown because the way of life was so different than life at home, but they ultimately adjusted and now love it.</p>

<p>-On a side note I am considering transferring from Suny-Bing to rutgers but not b/c of anything having to do with being out of state.</p>