So I’ve at school for about a week and I absolutely love it here. The environment is amazing, my classes are great, and I just love being on campus, but I am so lonely. My roommate and I don’t get along so that takes him out and I really don’t have any other friends. I’m trying my best to be social and talk to people, but it seems like everyone already has their group and I’m just all alone. Everyone keeps telling me to just wait and that it’ll get better, and I’m sure it will, but right now I am just so lonely. I’m used to a good group of friends always being with me in high school, but now I have no one. I don’t want to transfer, but it is just so hard right to not have anyone to talk to.
Join clubs, work out at the gym, study at the library, get an on campus job that requires interaction with other students & stay busy so that you do not think about being alone. Also, others find busy people attractive & interesting.
Volunteer- helping others is likely to make you feel better
I remember feeling lonely in college at the beginning. I felt like I went from being “known” by my close friends to be alone. And when I wasn’t alone I was always “on” trying to meet people, make friends, etc. Which is tiring. But you know what? Time does make it better. By the end of first semester I found my people and we were off the races.
I heard one president told incoming first-years at convocation that it’s normal for it to take a while to find your tribe but to remember that “every day your friends are getting closer to you.” That’s a nice image to hold on to.
With that in mind – yes, find the clubs on campus that best match your interests and join them. Chances are that will help you find your friends faster.
Finally – make the first move, lol. Ask someone to grab lunch with you, or study with you or something else low stakes and casual. Chances are they’ll be thrilled!
Hang in there – it really will get better!!!
My daughter left a really tight group of friends too and said that she forgot how awkward/difficult it is to make new friends.
Seems like from our parent groups, what you are feeling is pretty universal.
I agree with joining clubs and getting involved with activities. My daughter joined two clubs and now that classes are getting more involved, she’s spending a lot of time with her project groups. It’s definitely expanding her social network.
Hang in there OP. It will get easier!
I think so many college freshman and transfers feel the way you do. I also think technology is making it harder for your generation to connect to others and find their social groups. We’ve become a culture of iPhones, laptops, gaming consoles, iPads and other devices. I think it has changed social skills, social interactions, and no longer puts people together.
Everyone else has given you great advice. You express yourself very well and I’m sure things will improve for you. Just remember you are not alone and remember as you look at other students on campus most freshman probably feel the same way you do.