<p>It seems like I feel a lot more lonely in college than in high school. I have gotten a few friends, but no super close friends that I do everything with. A lot of my so called “friends” talk to me and such during lunch, but never invite me places- which is okay I guess, some people are cool to talk to but you don’t really want to hang out with them. People view me as intelligent and friendly, but not as a cool laid back guy who they can get drunk with. It’s not like I’m socially ■■■■■■■■ or anything (or at least I hope not), I feel I can hold decent conversations with people. I am pretty close to the professor I am doing research with and the graduate students in my lab, I just have trouble finding camaraderie with my peers.</p>
<p>I have noticed a few things that have harmed my social life here:</p>
<li><p>Tough course of study. I’m pre-med and have been taking difficult classes, the time spent reading / working problem sets has taken away a lot of my free time.</p></li>
<li><p>Some people spend a ton of money when they hang out- i.e. go to the mall and eat at a nice place afterwards. I like to have fun without spending a whole wad of cash, so I often decline when I get invited to go shopping.</p></li>
<li><p>Not into the whole drinking/dancing/partying culture. Nothing wrong with it, just isn’t fun to me. Went to a few parties with friends and didn’t have much fun.</p></li>
<li><p>My best friend is moving away from my hometown- so during breaks I have very few people to hang out with.</p></li>
<li><p>Differing interests from most people. I’m interested in pretty random stuff, like military stuff, guns, tanks, etc. Sometimes I wish I adopted another hobby, like sports. A lot of people like sports, and it can be a great topic to relate to. However, I never liked sports.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Tl;DR: It’s summer, and I’m bored and lonely.</p>
<p>lonley, i am so lonely, i’m mr. lonely, i have nobody, for my own…ooohhoooo lalala lonely, i am so lonely</p>
<p>yo this one here
goes to all my playas out there, man, ya know?
that got that one good girl, lord
that’s always been there man like
took all the bull****
and then one day she cant take it no more
and decide to leave</p>
<p>sorry, i just had to</p>
<p>lol</p>
<p>ok well you should take a break from premed stuff…and go hang out with the friends…even if you don’t wanna buy antyhing, you can still go and hang out at the mall too</p>
<p>i’m doing premed too? is it really that long and hard?</p>
<p>At my school the science classes are extremely tough, with half the class getting a B- and below. I think the science classes are certainly doable, but they stack with my other classes as well. This year it might have been my fault, for my gen. ed. requirements I took upper level classes instead of 100 level classes that could fulfill the requirements.</p>
<p>so… you’re not into partying, and you don’t like sports? </p>
<p>i certainly wouldn’t hang out with you… and most guys probably wouldn’t either. </p>
<p>maybe you should expand your interests.</p>
<p>Hey man, keep your high school talk to the HS forum please.</p>
<p>join clubs. smile at people. talk to people. repeat over a long time. hang out with people. finding the people you invite to your wedding takes some time. just go out and have fun. its not supposed to be a chore. getting to know people, well its a progression. just try not to be so narrow (in your interests and stuff)</p>
<p>you dont have a premed society or something like it to meet people? sit next to someone youve never met and invite them to coffee-cant be super expensive, right.</p>
<p>
ZOMG, not everyone in the class gets super grades1!1?+??! must be a tough one!!!</p>
<p>Do you live on campus or off? I think commuters have a lot harder time making friends, just because most freshmen make their close friends in the first few days of orientation, hanging around the dorm. </p>
<p>Next time you get invited anywhere, accept. You don’t have to spend a lot of money. Be yourself and try not to be quiet, it makes it a lot easier for other people to get to know you and consider you a friend. </p>
<p>I don’t think joining clubs would really help (even though it’s a good thing to do anyway). The only clubs where people make friends that they actually talk to on a daily basis are frats and sports teams, neither of which seem to interest the OP. Maybe an Honors Frat would work, though?</p>
<p>I second hopeful_gtb’s post. Long-term friendships take a long time to build (obviously). At first it may be a bit awkward and you might have to “force” yourself to socialize, even if you’re tired and don’t really feel like it, just so that you won’t lose contact with humanity. Having said that, I’m terrified of making friends in college. Hopefully not everyone is interested in sports and parties… Maybe you should try picking up a few extra interests, though, since it seems you’re mostly interested in military stuff.</p>
<p>Is your college in your hometown or are you home for the summer?</p>
<p>Just directly replying to your points here:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>You can still study hard and make time to hang out with people. A huge skill in college is time management. If you’re studying 24/7, then you are likely either taking something way too difficult, or you’re not making the most of your study time. Alternatively, find better times of the day to get studying done.</p></li>
<li><p>If you get invited to go shopping, go ahead and tag along. I’ve gone out with friends plenty of times without purchasing anything. Not a big deal. With my friends, when we go out to eat, we usually try to compromise on something reasonable for everyone, since we know that not everyone can afford/will want to blast away $20+ on a meal.</p></li>
<li><p>Those scenes aren’t for everyone, although in my opinion it’s really what you make of it. The parties that I’ve always found bad were usually the ones where I was pretty much being a wallflower. The parties I enjoyed tended to be the kind where I just let loose and had fun dancing. In either case, even if you hate dancing, and even if you don’t drink, it doesn’t mean you’re immediately screwed. LOTS of people aren’t into the dance/drinking/party scene. An alternative might be to find people you click with through clubs/activities/classes. I’ve become friends with plenty of people that I’ve met/worked with in my Finance groups, for example. Also, sometimes it doesn’t hurt to make the effort yourself to organize something. If you worry that people aren’t inviting you, try being the one doing the inviting. You’ll probably find that the action gets reciprocated more often unless you’re turning people off in some way that isn’t being relayed through your messages here.</p></li>
<li><p>Yep, that phenomenon happens to a lot of people, really, including myself. Just one of those sucky inevitable changes, I guess.</p></li>
<li><p>We talkin’ like M1A1 Abrams style or what? Haha, seriously though… plenty of people are into that sort of thing. It’s just going to take a bit of extra nudging to figure out how to find them, though. As for sports, I used to be the same way. However, I sort of acquired a taste for football and basketball. I’d always hang out with friends who would watch the games, and I slowly started to see the appeal of having that common subject to discuss. Even if you’re a math junkie who hates sports, the statistics involved are extremely interesting to crunch.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>In short, though, you may have your own predefined set of interests and everything, but I’d really advise you to branch out. One of the great things about college is the opportunity to try new things. You will likely be pleasantly surprised by some things, disappointed by others, but ultimately glad that you took the time to open up a bit.</p>