<p>Hi guys. As you all know by now, I'm going to MIT in the fall. I wanted to know what the general campus attitude is towards having a boyfriend/girlfriend "back home." Is it mocked or accepted, overall? And would not being interested in dating/sex alienate me from others?</p>
<p>(also, I'd rather not discuss my specific situation, since it's personal and I've got my mind pretty made up about it :))</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>People would be impressed that you had a boyfriend/girlfriend at all. It certainly wouldn’t be mocked. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>No. I don’t remember all that much dating among undergrads.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>You might be told that you are Wrong and that your relationship won’t last. But you’re not going to get much crap for it.</p>
<p>People don’t seem impressed when frosh come in with relationships back home, though if the relationship lasts into sophomore year, then people might be impressed :P</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Nope, as long as you don’t do that to yourself. It’s not like people are going to treat you differently. But obviously, if you spend hours locked away in your room talking to your SO, you’re not going to socialize with others as much and you might effectively alienate yourself - just be careful not to do that :)</p>
<p>I think times may have changed since collegealum314 was here - there’s plenty of dating among undergrads as far as I can tell 
Or maybe it’s just a different-part-of-campus thing.</p>
<p>I agree with Piper (although I think collegealum is being facetious :)). People won’t make fun of you, although they’re unlikely to take you really seriously if you say you’re going to stay together and get married. Some people do stay together, of course – off the top of my head I can think of three of my classmates who married their high school sweethearts, but obviously most people do eventually break up. Turkey Drop is a real phenomenon.</p>
<p>Personally speaking, I came to MIT with a serious boyfriend from high school, and nobody blinked an eye at our relationship (other than this guy in my entry who wanted to date me, but that’s another story). They took it with a grain of salt when I swore we were going to get married, and they weren’t terribly surprised when we broke up over Christmas, but they weren’t negative about the whole thing, either.</p>
<p>One thing I would say, echoing Piper, is that you should be sure to set limits on the amount of time/energy you’re pouring into your LDR. Don’t let the existence of your relationship stop you from making friends at MIT. And don’t invest so much time on the phone/on Skype/whatever with your SO that your new friendships (or your schoolwork) suffer. I don’t mean to be preachy, and I know it all sounds really obvious. But I also know that it’s tempting, especially when you miss somebody about whom you care a lot. I spent a lot of time first semester on the phone with my boyfriend, and my grades showed it. :)</p>
<p>Thanks guys! I was actually in a LDR for over a year in high school (different boy), and I’ve gotten pretty good at handling it – while I keep in close contact with them, I don’t spend all my time talking to them and instead focus myself on schoolwork and keeping busy so I don’t sit around moping about how much I miss them. (My best grades in HS were actually while I was in a LDR because of that!) I’m definitely aware that most couples in this situation will ultimately break up, and I’m prepared for that.</p>
<p>And I’d never tell anyone that I think we’ll get married until it’s in the near future… I know that people would question that ;)</p>
<p>luisarose:
The potential for any upside from continuing a LDR as you start college/MIT is small at best. Clinging to a high school sweetheart as you head off to college will have a limiting effect on your experiences and the people you meet. The odds of it lasting is not in your favor.</p>
<p>Be realistic about what you’re heading into.</p>
<p>^ It’s only limiting if you let it become so. It’s pretty clear that she’s got the right mindset to have a good beginning to her college experience.</p>
<p>The limiting mindset can be said for people who get into relationships at the beginning of freshman year… one of my friends started dating someone during orientation and has spent almost all of her time with him since.</p>
<p>(I don’t go to MIT, but I’m sure the same thing happens occasionally there.)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>How about taking a nice math class instead?</p>
<p>I don’t think most people think anything in particular of it. It’s just something else about you. If you told me you had a boyfriend back home, I would probably process it the same way as if you told me your favorite color was blue - oh, that’s interesting.</p>
<p>I had a few good friends who were in pretty serious relationships when they came in as freshman, and it didn’t affect them adjusting here because they didn’t just lock themselves in their room talking to their significant other.</p>
<p>It’s not a big deal, just part of who you are right now. I think you’ll find that most people are pretty non-judgemental here (and have enough things to worry about without make judgements on people about little details).</p>