Hey everyone. This is my first year at a big university and I am not handling it so well. I went to a community college for 2 years and now transferred to this new college in a little town in Texas, which is basically in the middle of no where. there’s nothing to do except go to school. ITs hard because I come from a big city, so transitioning is already hard its self. This is my 3rd week of school and so far I have not made any friends or even talked to anyone. I live in an apartment just a few blocks away from campus with my childhood bestfriend. Before coming here I was so excited to begin a new chapter in my life but now that I am here I find myself lonley, and depressed, very homesick, and crying almost every night . So far I have been driving home everyweekend which is a 3 hours drive because I can’t stand being here if I have no friends to spend the weekend with. I miss my family, my highschool friends and my city. My home. Yes, I live with my childhood friend and it does help a little having him around but he has friends from highschool that go here , so most of the time he is hanging out with them while I am stuck in my room crying and having panic attacks because I have no one. It’s only been three weeks and I already just want to quit and move back home but l will not allow myself to drop out. I came here for a reason, and that reason was to get a degree and be somebody. I need help coping with being home sick and making friends. Because so far this is not the college experience that I was dreaming of. Everyday I have regrets of ever moving. I know this is the right choice for my future but why is it so hard for me. I walk through the campus and it seems everyone is happy, everyone knows somebody, and then there is me… walking alone wishing someone would talk to me… Everyone says college is the best time of there lives. How come I don’t feel that way ?
Give it time. Hang in there. Here’s some advice.
https://grownandflown.com/college-freshman-miserable-what-say/
Also, get involved on campus and don’t go home so much. It might feel better to do so in the short term but its not the best for your longer term adjustment.
This is one of the things I think is tough about transferring and living off campus. A lot of connections and adjustment are made in the dorms and living on campus. In most cases transferring is like a freshmen year all over again. But do not despair, that doesn’t mean you can’t have a great experience and that your new school will become a great fit. It just means you may have to work a little harder to make that happen. Try to join some clubs or organizations. Hang out in the student union. Spend time on campus. Talk and be friendly. Many of the similar threads have some great advice. Its early - don’t be too hard on yourself. You’ll get there.
Make an appointment to visit the counseling center at your university. Transitions can be difficult and many students are struggling like you are. One of my Ds had trouble settling in her freshman year, and she found her counseling center to be very helpful. She went for a few months until she felt able to handle things on her own, and found some friends through her classes, and clubs/activities. Volunteering and service activities are great ways to meet others and do something positive for the community.
My D is a senior now and feeling anxious about the transition and unknowns as she heads toward graduation. She just told me has made an appointment with the counseling center. She has also found exercise to be a great stress reliever. Her college gym has yoga and other classes, and she also participates in a club sport (through which she has found many nice friends).
Hang in there:) You can have a great experience at your new school, but it may take some time and extra help to make it happen.
To me there seems to be two “best ways” to meet people as a university student. One way is to meet people by living in the same dorm. The other way is through clubs and activities. The first way doesn’t work if you are living off campus (although I do see that there are lots of other advantages of living off campus). This implies that you need to try the second way.
There are going to be a LOT of clubs and activities available at your school. Most of them are probably of no interest to you. However, there should be a few which you will find interesting. If you participate in one or two, and keep it up for a few months, then you will meet people with whom you have something in common.
I also agree with other comments above, including the recommendation by @mamag2855 that you visit the counseling center at your university.