<p>I'm a sophomore who just transferred to another university this fall. Previously, I was at NYU and there were a couple of times throughout the year when I felt really depressed. I felt like I had disappointed my parents, since they had always wanted their first born son to go to a prestigious university like an Ivy League. Happiness to me meant making my parents happy. That's what I thought.</p>
<p>Thinking I was really in depression because of the school, I applied as a transfer to someplace more prestigious, and fortunately I got in. My parents were exuberant, and that by itself made me happy. Now, a month into school, my grades are doing pretty well and I've found a sense of community. Yet...I still feel that same sense of depression. I feel like everything I've done until now is a mess, and honestly, I don't know what to do. Can anyone relate?</p>
<p>i sort of know what you mean, although i cant directly relate. i sometimes feel a sense of depression and i cant really pinpoint what exactly makes me feel that way. it could be, in your case, that your parents push you too hard, and even when you're doing really well, which you are, you always feel you're not good enough. You just have to try and have a sense of individuality, which i know is a hard thing. you may even consider talking to a counselor. i know that may sound stupid, but it really helps. when i first started college i was aslo depressed, and so i decided to just talk to someone, because i couldnt think of anything else. and it honestly made me feel better. you may not know whats bothering you, but its something you should try and figure out. just remember you're doing really well, and you're lucky to be in the situation you're in.</p>
<p>ochem, first, congratulations on your successful application.</p>
<p>You know, it is possible that you <em>are</em> depressed. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Depression is not so uncommon and it is eminently treatable. milkdud's experience of talking with someone and finding that it really helped is very valuable information. Thank you, milkdud, for posting that.</p>
<p>Many people find excellent results with a combination of medication/talk therapy (counseling). I hope you will seek out someone at your school's counseling services, because it may be just what you need. It does not necessarily have to be longterm. If it isn't what you need, no harm done.</p>
<p>Good luck to you and please keep us posted.</p>
<p>I think that for me, even though I'm EXTREMELY happy with my new school, it makes me a little sad that my college years aren't what I had anticipated. I get frustrated that I'm 21 and a sophomore and I'm just ready to get settled and put the last two years behind me. I get jealous when I think about people who have been here from the start and who didn't have to go through everything I had to go through on my journey to get here. I definitely understand and agree that it feels like your life is a mess sometimes!! That said, I know that my college years turned into this "mess" for a reason and so I'm trying to learn from it what I can. I've learned a lot of lessons through this process that I'm really thankful to have learned now rather than later. Oh!!! And I absolutely advocate going to a counselor. I did when I was so unhappy at my old school and it was such a great help, plus most schools offer free or really cheap counseling through the psych department or student health center.
Mal :)</p>
<p>Many of you students are wise beyond your years. And you are one of them, Mal. I hope that the students who are having a journey a little bit like yours can benefit from what you are sharing. Thank you for posting.</p>
<p>I also know students who have reason to feel some jealousy about others who seem to be having the unadulterated "best years of their lives" at college, while their own roads have been rockier. </p>
<p>A wise person once told me that those students who have experienced obstacles, maybe some failures, and yet moved forward actually have an advantage over others who have experienced nothing but success along the way so far. You <em>know</em> that you can rise to the test; you know what it is to handle disappointment, to choose not to buckle under pressure. Others, who have never faced that, may experience more shocks to their systems in years to come.</p>
<p>So take some heart in that. You deserve it.</p>
<p>I don't think it is uncommon to have times of feeling depressed in college. It is a huge life change and time of adjustment. It is the first time that you are really alone in some ways and responsible for yourself. That can feel isolating and lonely at times. The friends you make are all new friends, there is no way they can replace old friends that have developed for years. The ups and downs of college life, with romance complications, lack of sleep, adjusting to roommates and dorm life, eating less than healthy foods on the run, feeling pressure to perform, etc. can take its toll. Many other students are feeling the same way, but no one talks about it so it is easy to feel like the only one.</p>
<p>I think it is a good idea to talk to someone, especially if you feel you can't confide in your parents. Just remember that all things pass and that it is OK to have ups and downs.</p>
<p>Well....I know....What I would like to suggest is that you should form some sorts of hobbies... It's a way to release....Like me, I write calligraphy to please myself...If sometimes you think over sth again and again but get no answers, just stop thinking, and do sth more pleasantly!!</p>