@KevinFromOC, from your post #1371, you said…
"It took awhile, but they [JHU] finally got back to me, and I had a very nice half hour conversation with them on the phone. The representative told me that they view our situation as a special exception, and determined that as long as D2 was either taking college classes or in the rehabilitation program and was financially dependent on us, that they would consider her to have a “comparable college career” and would not reduce our financial aid offer because of it. Wow, that was pretty decent of them! She then went on to ask me other questions, looking for ways to justify increasing our financial aid even more. She also offered that JHU would probably be able to match any other financial aid offer from any other school. The representative seemed sincerely interested in helping us as much as she could.
Princeton, on the other hand… Their initial financial aid offer gave us a tuition, room, & board cost of $28.5K, which was significantly higher than what their NPC gave us. I therefore sent them an e-mail asking about the discrepancy. It also took a while, but they finally got back to me and explained that based on the information we gave them they determined that D2 would not have any educational expenses. I replied explaining the current situation with D2, and that she would indeed not be attending college full time. They responded with just 2 sentences, the first of which was “At this point in time, there will not be any adjustments to D1’s financial aid.”, and the second said to let them know if D2 incurs any educational expenses and they will look at D1’s FA again.
I interpret this as “That’s our offer, take it or leave it, and don’t bother us with anything else”. It was a totally different tone than that of JHU."
You’ve displayed an incredibly sturdy ego throughout this thread and process, accepting and responding to all kinds of comments and inquiries that many others would not have (hence, the popularity of this thread). Therefore, I am surprised that you allowed personal pique at one nameless, faceless, likely overworked and underpaid Princeton bureaucrat who answered your email inquiry about your NPC discrepancy to deter you from your due diligence at seeking the best possible merit and FA at each finalist school. Note that this reply is consistent with Princeton seeking to deliver the best FA to all without merit awards. And it makes sense that if you filled out the NPC with two in college, but it was later determined there was only one because there were no expenses incurred for #2, then that is a totally legitimate explanation consistent with Princeton’s FA principles. However, you should have pushed them further, and this is where you allowed your D’s relative “full court press” recruitment by schools in a significantly less competitive category to affect your analysis. I do not understand why you did not do what you’ve done throughout this thread–set your ego aside to keep your eyes on the prize of seeking the best possible value for your daughter’s education. I don’t think you’ve done that to date with Princeton. And I think the direction you took here may have been unduly influenced by the CC’s general disposition that tends to value lowest possible cost vs. highest possible value when it comes to higher education.
Here is what you might have responded to Princeton FA after the two sentence reply that you took issue with as “somewhat curt”:
"Dear Princeton FA:
Thank you for your reply to my inquiry about the discrepancy between my NPC amount and ultimate FA awarded. I appreciate that your calculation of my daughter's current award considers that I will have only one student in college, given that my eldest daughter may not be incurring educational expenses due to her disability [or insert better language here]. One reason my daughter applied to Princeton and was thrilled to be accepted is because it is known as having generous financial aid that considers each family's unique circumstances, consistent with your institution's FA Principle #3: "Need is determined through a careful review of each family's individual financial circumstances. Personal attention is given to every admitted student's aid application, taking into account special circumstances and professional judgment in determining aid awards."
In the spirit of this principle, I'd like to share with you the fuller circumstances for my eldest daughter to better assess my family's overall FA picture. [Add 1-2 sentences on that here.] My daughter would love to accept Princeton's offer, especially if you are able to increase her FA at least to the level of a competitor school (John Hopkins University), which is treating my second daughter's educational expenses very differently. Rather than concluding that there are no additional educational expenses incurred, JHU has determined that as long as D2 was either taking college classes or in the rehabilitation program and was financially dependent on us, that they would consider her to have a "comparable college career" and would not reduce our financial aid offer because of it. This approach makes sense to me, as my eldest daughter will continue to have expenses that we will be supporting for her "comparable college career" long after D1 graduates from college.
I understand that each institution has its own parameters and guidelines for awarding FA, but I wanted to provide this additional information consistent with Princeton's commitment to ascertaining financial aid only after a careful review of a family's special circumstances.
Sincerely,
KevinFromOC"