<p>Hi, can someone please give me constructive criticism on my UC personal statement please? It's just a rough draft so far, and I was hoping a few people could give me some feedback on what needs to be removed or added to and if it relates back to the prompt. The word count is 540 words.</p>
<p>Thanks! </p>
<p>Prompt 1: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.</p>
<pre><code>As a child, it never bothered me that my parents were never home by the time I came back from school. Even from a young age, my days after school were spent with my grandmother taking care of me. But as my grandmother went back to her native country, I was placed in an afterschool program, thus once again never seeing my parents until they came to pick me up. However, the lack of not seeing my parents as much as I had wanted never took a toll on me as I was often reminded by my mother that the only reason why both she and my father were always at work would be essential towards me and my brothers futures.
Growing up, my mother had enrolled me in ballet classes. It never struck me how expensive the tuition had cost as all I knew what to do at the age of six was to just bounce and twirl around in tights and a leotard. But as I grew older and my classes expanded, the cost of tuition increased as well. Dancing became one of my priorities, and as my parents realized that this fine art will forever be a part of my future, it became their priority as well. All the extra money and time my parents had were spent on tutus and elegant pointe shoes as well as the usual tuition and audition or competition fees. But as the days and years passed on, my fathers job grew unsteady.
There were times when he was jobless for sometimes either a month or a couple of days. Even though as much as I cherished seeing my father waiting for me in the front steps of my porch by the time I came home from school, I knew that he needed his job to help financially support the family as well as my aspirations of dancing. Although my fathers job was quite erratic and our family did not have as much money as we did when both my parents were working, there was always a little extra money to be spent on my dancing dream. Tuitions were always paid on time, and my name was always registered in auditions and competitions.
Sometimes seeing the amount written in cheques would make me feel guilty for having my parents spend such a large amount on me when the money could be used for more necessary assets in life, but my parents always brushed it off. They always told me that whatever was my priority was theirs. Hearing that my happiness and dream makes them proud makes me realize not only how much time and money was spent, but also how much love was gravitated towards my aspirations.
Most kids I know of could care less about how much effort and time their parents dedicate to their children to help ensure that their futures would be stable. Some students even go as far as to throw away the necessary steps their parents provide them. However, Im thankful that all the ballet classes, competitions, and auditions were able to be a part of my experience and the necessary steps to become an aspiring ballerina hoping to dance in a company in the near future.
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