<p>why does it seem that when I go out and try to meet new people, even being outgoing and sociable, girls and even guys(as potential friends) warm up to taller and better looking guys? I'm really short, 5'2'', have a somewhat athletic build, but my face looks like mediocre, and not northern European, but not stereotypical anything, which never seems to satisfy anyone. Does looking like me hinder me with making friends, is it my school, where kids are more superficial, as they're not that smart? I know girls try to hang out with pretty girls, are guys the same? Are girls in college really just like high school? I want friends, who are both girls and guys, and hopefully a relationship with a girl who is not fat or ugly.</p>
<p>I have never made a friend because of their looks, I tend to make friends on personality. I don't care if they have an egg head, they're two feet tall and drool when they laugh - if they're a cool person, I'll hang out with them. </p>
<p>I really can't imagine somebody saying "You're ugly. I don't want to be your friend." past the fifth grade.</p>
<p>It could be that.</p>
<p>Or it could be a flat, uninteresting, and whiny personality.</p>
<p>I throughly enjoy it when people blame other people for why they can't make friends :) Try reassessing yourself.</p>
<p>^LOL. Truth.</p>
<p>"...is it my school, where kids are more superficial, as they're not that smart?"</p>
<p>This could be your issue right here.</p>
<p>Personality has nothing to do with height or looks. I've seen many a guy and gal have plenty of friends who aren't conventionally attractive.</p>
<p>If you're a girl, you have nothing to complain about, you're only 2 inches under average height! That's slightly below average - who cares?! And if you're asian/hispanic, that's average! and you said you're ok-looking, not hot but not ugly, so it's not your looks. </p>
<p>If you're a guy, then you're very short, which might be a turn off to taller girls, but girls in college are not immature as middle school. there are plenty of girls around your height and shorter! Only a very shallow person would refuse to be friends with you because of looks. I'm guessing you're insecure, and it shows in your personality - try to be really outgoing, funny and friendly toward everyone, and they will warm up to you. :) also, why do you want to look northern european? attractive people come in all races. </p>
<p>Also, you talk about disliking superficial people, but you state you don't want fat or ugly friends - sounds like you think you're unattractive but only want hot, skinny friends...</p>
<p>molly, I never said that. I said if I were in a relationship, ie being a boyfriend, I'd hate to think I deserve a fat or ugly girl, but I'd still be friends with them if they are cool.When I said "northern European," I'm white, but my facial features are pretty undefined although I'm not fat or anything. But the lack of defined facial features I think hurts me, as my jaw bones are big, which makes my mouth look small, and have small cheek bones</p>
<p>Uhh you're giving to much thought into it. I'm barely 5'9 and I feel short =/ I'll be going into college this year but I doubt I'll do anymore growing.</p>
<p>I've never had a conversation and then though, " Wow, that person doesn't have well defined cheek bones, can't be friends with them" Your looks are probably the least of your worries in attracting people. People gravitate towards confident people, which you clearly aren't. You are probably allowing your insecurities to deter you from acting freely and being social.</p>
<p>A lot of you are taking it the wrong way (ie, cheekbone structure, ethnicity/descent) in that I don't think he means people consciously think about it, but subconsciously gravitate toward good-looking people (which is absolutely true).</p>
<p>Regardless, that probably has nothing to do with why people aren't warming up to you. Everybody's advice is right. It probably has more to do with your (lack of) confidence and personality.</p>
<p>oh ok, I get what you're saying now. well, when it comes to getting a boyfriend/girlfriend, looks obviously matter a lot more than just a friend. but if you think of yourself as ugly and are insecure, it will come off that way. </p>
<p>I agree with chckn - when I started college, I was still this shy high school girl from a small school full of kids I knew since kindergarten. I also commute and it made it harder to get friends - then I started going to more parties, joined a bunch of clubs, and now I have plenty of friends and a boyfriend. try to be more social and confident. Everyone warms up to the friendly, funny guy, not the insecure one.</p>
<p>You're emphasizing way too much of the physical. Maybe, you're just not interesting.</p>
<p>I'm very surprised people here thought I meant people consciously think about this. To me, it seems like they do SUBconsciously, like they see someone better looking and thinks "he looks fun" while an average or subpar guy is ignored. I like to think I'm pretty confident. I always go up to people and introduce myself. But it seems like people, girls in particular try to end the convo when I make small talk, and don't say hi to me when they see me again. Similar goes for guys too, and I DO have a personality. It is that of a fun loving guy who also is interested in politics, music as I play a mean guitar, and sports. My personality is confident, and kind of assertive but not bossy. So what's going wrong? Is looks the problem? How much do kids subconciously think about looks. I mean I look at the frats at my school, there's two, and the guys in them are handsome, moreso in one than the other.</p>
<p>5'2" and male?......yeah, thats tough.</p>
<p>I am not sure if I have even seen a guy on campus that short. So um...try to be a lacross powerhouse to get attention from girls. That should work.</p>
<p>If ur a likeable and interesting guy you shouldn't have trouble making friends.. you can throw the subconscious out the window.
Of course attractiveness is a factor in finding a relationship with a woman, attraction between both mates is an important part of any relationship.
However, its seems like u believe in this notion that u will be fated into a life without friends or women u find desirable because of what u perceive to be bad looks.
Keep putting urself out there and really try to assess how u come off to others. Finding the right girl isn't easy for anybody, I would know.</p>
<p>Okay, let's put it this way: if you're only going for 'she's a 10!' girls, then yeah, you'll get blown off. I'm not a 10 but I've had a few boyfriends and I don't have any unpleasant features, but when a creepy or ugly guy comes up to me and tries to make small talk... I try to get away. It may seem shallow and it IS on some level but it's because these fugly dudes make a beeline straight for me that it's quite obvious what they want and frankly I'm not interested :P On the other hand, if it's someone from class that I know or have at least some tiny thing in common with, I'll listen. Girls are used to pigs going after them, so if you insist on being such a pig, at least make it less obvious.</p>
<p>And yeah, if you look like a Neanderthal it'll be difficult getting a date. Fair? No. Prevalent? Yes.</p>
<p>Sadly, height and looks are extremely important for dating. If you simply want friends, make friends. I would gladly be friends with a 5'2 dude; I hope you have a self-deprecating sense of humor.</p>
<p>Okay that's ^^^ ridiculous.
Now, I'm not sensationally tall by any standards (I am more than 5'2" though), but that really means nothing. I mean, haven't you guys seen certain ethnic groups - I would just be stating the facts if I mention Asians pretty much as a whole (including Indians and SE Asia as well).</p>
<p>A lot of people from Asia are predominantly short - a good number of them are "managing" to reproduce. Now say what you will about "well, they have arranged marriages, etc.", prostitution is not your only solution. I mean be serious. OP, don't listen to wutang's seriously flawed version of reality.</p>
<p>You'll find someone that's perfect for you - and that individual will be quite able to look past inane characteristics such as height or looks. Just be a nice guy. You'll be fine.</p>
<p>i honestly feel bad for guys who go to college with dreams of getting girls. From what I have seen/experienced, if you were unable to get a gf/bf in HS, your chances didn't magically increase in college...</p>
<p>^ Is there any point to that reply? A lot of things can change one's chances with women from high school to college. High school and college are much different socially. Sure, they won't "magically" increase, but they'll learn they have to hustle hard like most guys out there. Just because you may have had luck with women in high school doesn't mean you should discourage others who were less fortunate.</p>
<p>As a girl, when a guy I don't know approaches me, especially at a bar or a party, my first assumption is that they want to hit on me. And yeah, looks do matter (for both genders). So, this is most likely why girls try to leave when they talk to you--they don't necessarily dislike you, but if they aren't attracted to you physically, they probably won't want you hitting on then. However, when making friends looks shouldn't be that important. I would suggest meeting/talking to people in more "friendly" environments like in clubs or in class, where your intentions won't automatically be perceived as desire. Good luck!</p>