loosing friend to drugs, help

Student Lounge College Life
1

<p>I'm in some desperate need of advice for this one..
So, my best friend (and ex-girlfriend), freshman at Brown, started smoking pot this semester. I didn't think much of it first, since she needed fun of some sort, especially since we were away, and it was kinda depressing. I myself will be a freshman at Brown next year, so I thought I could take of her, if something goes bad with the habit.
And then I helplessly start watching her completely change because of this. She starts saying how much happier she is now, that all her past life was miserable..next thing she doesn't love me anymore, and breaks up with me, and in a horrible manner (i won't even give the details), and hooks up with the dude who has been giving her the drugs. We had been together for a year, madly in love and happy, even if we were so apart for 5-6 months, and all of a sudden she leaves me.
While I guess I am happy for her in a way, since she is happier and all, I can't stop thinking it's just because of the drugs..
Anyway, now she started the salvia thingy, which is a pretty powerful drug. Next, she says she might start doing lsd. This is just too much for her, and it's going too fast...considering that a few months beforehand she said she'd never touch a cigar in her life. So i told her to stop, before getting to even worse drugs, but she didn't really listen...and now we don't even speak anymore..when for the last 2 years I had been her only real friend
I know her well, and I'm afraid that she'll soon end up pretty badly. Her grades are already slipping. All she thinks about all week long is getting stoned in the weekend..with that junky dude, who is heavily into drugs.</p>

<p>I just can't watch her do this to herself..she's a very sensitive girl, and I'm really afraid of what might happen to her..physically or otherwise</p>

<p>I really hate that guy for what he's doing to her, I don't think he deserves to be in such a place, or such a great girl, but what can I do? If I find out she started the heavier stuff, I thought of calling her parents and forcing her out of there. But I really don't want to ruin her life there, I just want him gone. I mean, it's his problem what he does to himself, but not to her. I even thought of calling Brown and letting them know, but I'm not sure what may happen, plus I wouldn't want her to get caught doing anything..</p>

<p>Also, I'd like to mention that I'm really not a narrow headed person, I have no issues regarding self indulgence or whatnot, i'm not even a "drugs are bad.the end." kind of person, but this all seems to be going too far..</p>

<p>So any thoughts?</p>

2

<p>For her safety, it might help her if you have some way to let her parents know. Is there some way that you could tell your parents so that they could help you find a way to let her parents know. It's possible that the drugs won't hurt her, but unfortunately, there's also a chance that they could really mess her up. My son smoked marijuana regularly, used salvia twice, and tried LSD. The LSD precipitated a manic episode and then a psychotic break, for which he had to be hospitalized. It now appears that the drugs combined with a genetic predisposition have exposed manic-depressive illness and he will have to take medication the rest of his life. If a person has no relatives at all with bipolar illness, they can't become bipolar. But, if there is some genetic possibility, then drugs can push them over the edge.</p>

3

<p>She may be into drugs a little too much, but you are also blaming a breakup on them when more than likely it was just her going to college changing her mind about your relationship.</p>

<p>If you call her parents or whatever you will most likely embarrass yourself quite a bit as her ex b/f who cannot let go. Drop it dude, it's not your business anymore.</p>

4

<p>Woah man, you've got too many problems and you are trying to find a scapegoat for all of them.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Pot didn't make your girlfriend break up with you. She went to college, she's meeting new people and wants new things. You are far away and you can't keep a relationship like when you guys were together, it happens.</p></li>
<li><p>Salvia is LEGAL and its a plant. People may bug out for like 10 - 15 minutes, but besides that its not something people do regularly and its nothing to worry about, its perfectly legal and in some ways healthy.</p></li>
<li><p>How do you know her grades are slipping if you haven't talked to her? I think someone is making an assumption...</p></li>
<li><p>The more you try to get back into her life, the more she will want you out. Stop trying to be in her life, its over man.</p></li>
<li><p>Your girl is doing a normal college thing, besides, its not like shes doing anything addictive or too dangerous for her health, if anything be real with her and tell her if she HAS to do drugs, do ones that won't kill her / get her addicted (Pot, LSD, shrooms, etc), not that I condone drug use but its better to have a friend on non lethal drugs that will just turn them nutty for a few hours rather than a crack addicted one.</p></li>
</ol>

5

<p>LSD, salvia, and marijuana are not physically addictive. But they can be unpredictable and dangerous and psychologically addictive. It does sound as if the relationship is over, but as a former friend and someone who still cares, he might save her a lot of grief if he manages to inform her parents so that they can try to intervene before things get worse. I wish we had known about our son's experimentation (we only suspected occasional marijuana use). Again, some people successfully get away with using these drugs and come out of it unscathed. But some are permanently harmed. No one knows ahead of time what the result will be.</p>

6

<p>Like I said, my only worry is that she may end up using other stuff, since the guy is into them, and it seems that so far he successfully made her use the lighter drugs.
Also please don't make assumptions as to why she left me, cause this is not the main issue, and I think I know better, anyway.
We broke up about a month ago, and we just stopped talking for about a few days now</p>

7

<p>I agree with post #3. There is very little you can do in this situation. She's your ex-girlfriend, she's in college, she's growing up, making her own choices (albeit ones that make you uncomfortable)...unfortunately I can't really see any room for you to act in this situation other than carefully and briefly telling her that you worry she's moving too fast. Don't expect much.</p>

8

<p>Yeah, all of those are really light drugs and don't necessarilly mean she's going to do harder stuff (think crack/heroin/meth). Like hyakku said, salvia is a short, intense, and controllable trip...and it's perfectly legal. Not knowing that ^^^ makes you come off as a desperate ex who know's little more about drugs than what he sees on the truth commercials (which are sponsored by phillip morris LOL). Drop it and let her be, if she calls you begging for drug money then tell her parents.</p>

9

<p>yah going to her parents is really gonna just make her hate you. Most people break up with their old high school flings, that's just the way it is because college is soooo big and different and exciting.</p>

<p>acid won't be addictive, and when she tries it once she won't wanna do it that often, it's a 12 hour trip and tires you out for a weekend. pot's just pot, and she'll be fine, salvia's a 20 minute trip, and expensive to keep doing, and shrooms are a shorter acid trip. This is part of college, it's all in good fun. </p>

<p>you're sad that your relationship's over, but it happens, and trust me you're not gonna regret it next year. College is full of gorgeous women, you don't want to be tied down your first year, and you woulda broken up with here anyway in college had you been the first to go.</p>

<p>just please please please don't do something stupid like snitch to her parents on her, it's not going to do much other than cause drama, stress for her, and **** her off even more.</p>

<p>she's pretty safe.</p>

10

<p>Is it <em>maybe</em> just possible that negru isn't trying to get back with her, but is genuinely concerned for her safety? Just <em>maybe</em>? Negru, you seem like a good guy, it's great that you still care for her although things have gone sour between the two of you. To be honest, I would have a <em>word</em> with the guy. I may get flamed for saying that, but that is what I would do. I personally would not allow someone I care about get hurt. </p>

<p>And punkdudeus, you talk about drugs like it's not big deal. Like you're grabbing lunch or something. IT IS a big deal and it has ruined many lives, some of which I have known first-hand.</p>

11

<p>Talk to her, and if she doesn't understand then it's just how she's chosen to live her life. End of story.</p>

12

<p>hey, i agree, you should give the guy a talkin' to, hell, if he gave her coke or something, have his legs broken. but so far it doesn't seem like she's smoking pot constantly, or burning $50 a day on quads of shrooms.
It sounds like she's only getting baked on weekends, and that's pretty normal in college (at least on the west coast).
If i were you, i'd reconcile, keep an eye on it, and if it gets worse, and the guy screws up or tries to get her on something dangerous like coke, beat his ass, sonny corleone style.</p>

13

<p>^^^ Word of caution: if he's a real dealer (which I doubt), don't mess with him. You'll soon end up way over your head on this one, trust me. </p>

<p>If he's just a 4th 5th 6th-rung college student making a few extra bucks, go ahead.</p>

14

<p>dude he's a dealer at Brown University... how hard do you think this guy is??? lol I'm sure he was dealing to all the kids in his SAT prep class too...</p>

15

<p>Agreed with laser.</p>

16

<p>yeah, all my Ivy friends do LSD...they're too smart to be harmed. j/k</p>

<p>I did a lot of LSD..and it made me nuts for a while. I'm all good now though. But LSD isn't a light drug just cuz it's not addictive..I've met a lot of people who its screwed up. LSD has more long term effects than any drug, and I've done them all.</p>

<p>Pot itself isn't so bad, but it can make you less able to deal w/underlying issues. </p>

<p>Coke can really screw up girls even more so than guys. Stay friends w/her and make sure she's honest w/you. It's way too soon to determine if she has a drug problem. You're being a little presumptuous. I would only tell someone's parents if they started doing a lot of blow or heroin, since will power is useless over hard drugs. Otherwsie, let her make decisions and deal w/ the possible consequences.</p>

17

<p>
[quote]
And punkdudeus, you talk about drugs like it's not big deal. Like you're grabbing lunch or something. IT IS a big deal and it has ruined many lives, some of which I have known first-hand.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>So has grabbing too many lunches!</p>

18

<p>^^^^^ lmao</p>

19

<p>lol man...</p>

20

<p>Again, telling her parents w ill only make her resent you and mess her relationship up with them.</p>

<p>Second, this dealer isn't making her do anything. You would have no right to try to beat him, and hopefully he would lay the smackdown on you for having the audacity to accuse him of controlling this girls mind and making her want to do this things. She is making the choice, she's not some helpless kitten she's a grown woman that can make her own decisions, you've gotta move on.</p>