My son is doing very well in math and science but is struggling with history and foreign language. We have had him tested for dyslexia and other learning disabilities. He does, in fact, have a language based learning disability and it is definitely affecting him at school. He has excelled at college level math and science but struggles with 9th grade level humanities courses. He has a difficult time with discussion based learning in these courses.
Do other parents have any suggestions for dealing with this learning disability. Specific questions:
Should he take Latin instead of a spoken language since this is clearly a struggle and is taking up a lot of his time? He does well with writing and reading but just can’t seem to get the conversational piece down at all. Conversations are difficult for him in English let alone Spanish.
Should he purposely take a lower level math course (he is now in the most advanced level) to allow for more time to be devoted to the classes that he struggles in?
What tips do you have for these types of students? I was a similar student that approached English and Humanities in a scientific way and I even took Latin. But I’m not sure if this was a good thing. In the end, I became a scientist but perhaps I should have tried harder to develop the areas of my brain that needed the most work.
@heartburner, I’m sorry that your son is having a hard time with those classes. Obviously, you’d want to address this quickly so that he doesn’t become overly discouraged. Have you been able to connect with his advisor? I would imagine they have had kids with similar issues and could recommend some ways to support him so he doesn’t ‘slide down a slippery slope’ - (an expression used by my kid’s advisor when she struggled with a class as a freshman).
Ditto on getting advisor involved now vs waiting. Also - am guessing a school that size would have a learning center or some such support that you could turn to for advice (and perhaps tutoring/accommodation/etc). Have you asked the school about possibilities? Also - given that this is probably very new to your son (both in content and method used for teaching), he may “get the hang of it” soon. But, I would err on the side of caution and get the adults at school involved now.
Thanks @cameo43 and @london203 – I don’t want to overstate the problem - He is getting B’s and C’s in a Pass/Fail format in these courses. Just seems to be struggling a bit with the format and level of competition. It seems as though things are getting better, but he will likely end up dropping the modern language in favor of starting over with Latin.
We’ll talk with his advisor about the math and support available.
I recall reading in Overcoming Dyslexia, by Dr. Sally Shaywitz, the recommendation that dyslexic students not be required to take foreign languages, due to the difficulty of connecting printed word with sounds.
However, if he’s getting Bs and Cs, I’m not sure it sounds as if it’s severe enough to go that far. It could be that changing to Latin would be a good idea.
As to the math levels, does he enjoy the upper level math and science? I would hesitate before requiring him to drop down a level in a course he enjoys and does well in. It could feel punitive? Which I know would not be the intent.
If it were my child, I would ask about the structure of his day. When does he sit down to study? Does he use his free periods to do homework? Does he do his most challenging work first or last? Is he getting enough sleep? Is he taking notes for himself while he reads assignments for the humanities classes?
I’d also ask about the typical grade trajectory. Do some students need a little time to reorient themselves to the prep school standards? Is the typical pattern at your son’s school for students to have high grades in all classes, or are students often lopsided, stronger in one side than the other? Are his teachers or his advisor concerned?
At my son’s K-12 school, kids with testing accommodations are allowed to take their language classes pass/fail through high school. The theory is that they still get exposure to the language without the spectre of dropping out or getting a terrible grade. @Periwinkle that’s a great book. Also, I would agree with not dropping a level in Math. If it’s something that he truly loves and excels at, it’s a great confidence boost.
Let’s remember that a C is understanding the coursework, is doing an acceptable job… that is a good place to start! I wish our students were encouraged to fail more, it gives grit and experience.
I think @jdewey means failing at something they reach for, not failing in the sense of breaking rules. The resilience that comes from that kind of failure is what gave us the light bulb, airplanes, and many other amazing things. Failing at something is just learning one way that doesn’t work – a very valuable lesson. One reason we sent our kiddo to BS was so he could learn how not to get an A. An A or B doesn’t tell you much; a C, D, or F can poke a hole in your kid’s worldview.
Choate is actually studying resilience and how to force students to experience failure. They have a committee that has been talking to companies about what they are looking for in candidates for tomorrow’s workforce and resilience from failure is at the top. The irony is that so many BS are populated by students who have never failed academically or at most of what they’ve set their hands to, that they don’t know how to do it. Put all those high-achieving kids together, dangle “top” colleges in front of them, and you have a recipe for producing exactly the kind of behaviors that won’t serve them well in the real world. Choate is trying to correct this by studying how to create an environment that encourages risky (positive) stretches that will most certainly produce failures while teaching students how to deal with those misses in a constructive way. It’s a tough challenge getting bright kids to take their eyes off their GPAs and take risks. Might make for some good college essays, though.
But what if the GPA can only be the best after evaluating failure to see what does and doesn’t work? Some people can only truly learn through “failure” and/ or seeing where the limit is…
It’s the fear of compromising the GPA or any other measure of success that often gets in the way of taking risks. Risk aversion is the damning trait. I want my kid to dare to fail spectacularly.
I was half joking, but my point was that there are any number of ways to learn character lessons that don’t involve schoolwork (for instance, if you want to learn to tolerate failure and rejection, try theater). Anyway, we probably agree for the most part. My son was in a math class that was too hard for him last year, but he worked at it and got an acceptable - but not good - grade. That one grade actually kept him from some honors. But that’s not a failure and I was proud of him for managing to keep his head above water all year. (My husband, OTOH, is still angry that twinboy was in that class…he’s all about the numbers.)
I have so much respect for everyone’s choices regarding how they pursue education, there’s room for everyone, and thanks @ChoatieMom for articulating my thoughts rather nicely! Deweykid goes to the Putney school where students don’t see their evaluations as scored grades until they are in their junior year. Instead they have long reports about effort. The focus is on progress through individual performance, often that includes taking risks and gaining a lot of self awareness. So … that’s the pedagogy that we buy into. I am aware that many folks who visit College Confidential would never choose that path, heck, there’s a LOT of stats discussed here. I respect that’s an important motivation for a lot of folks. So why did I mention running towards failure? @heartburner put out the request for opinions on how his son is doing… my comments are meant to complement the scales. If we teach our students that failing is wrong what kind of people will they become?
The behavioral approach would be to institute a reward system. He could set up a scorecard of, say 5-7 overall contributions with 1-3 “key” inputs per class session as a goal, and push himself to contribute that set number of times, if it is the Harkness format that is the main problem. He would tick off on the scorecard, and give himself a reward (15 minutes of video gaming?) if he meets the threshold or the objective total score for the week.
If it is reading versus hearing, maybe getting permission to record the sessions and having a voice-to-text converter and re-reading a transcript of the discussion may also help cement the verbal aspects into his mind. This could be innocuous- just a part of his laptop, and not a disruption to the class or an inconvenience to him.
Perhaps time and acculturation is all that is needed, though. Good luck!
I think some of the issue is needing to reset your expectations - and your son’s - on where the bar is for performance at boarding school. What’s wrong with Bs and Cs in a class or two?? That’s definitely not flunking. Remember, many of these BS have zero grade inflation. Your son is now in an environment where he’s being compared to a select group of peers. It WILL be harder to maintain straight As across the board for most kids, compared to their old school environment.
Many kids at boarding school are lopsided. One of mine was - not a math kid at all - and is doing just fine at an academically rigorous college. At the school my kids went to, only a handful of students were able to pull off top level grades in all their classes. Maybe 5-8% at most, yet the vast majority do quite well in college placement. Again, you will find MANY, many lop-sided students.
I would strongly recommend NOT dropping into an easier math curriculum. Kids, especially in a competitive environment, need to feel good about themselves but they don’t need to be great at ALL things. Your son excels at math. That’s his thing. Let him shine there. That’s what will make him stand out vis-a-vis his peers when college time rolls around and its what will give him confidence now. As I said, many BS kids are lop-sided. One advisor my lop-sided child had suggested dropping an extra course she always took in an area of interest. After some consideration and discussion, we did not follow the advisor’s advice and I think it was the correct call. My child wasn’t going to be great at math no matter how much time she spent on it - her mind just doesn’t work that way - but the extra classes she took in her area of talent helped hone skills and tell a story about who she was and what she was good at. It gave her confidence because she had a visible reflection of her talents and skills. It gave her an area to shine both in her own mind and within the school community. And she busted her butt in her math/science courses, never excelling but passing. Her strongest college recommendation came from one of her math teachers talking about her determination, preparation, resilience, and maturity.
I had dyslexia as a child and like your son struggled with languages, in particular French- I could read and write it but not speak it at all. My boarding school required Latin and I had no problems speaking, reading or writing it and had much better grades in Latin than French… I only stuck with French because it was recommended to have 4 years of a Modern Language.
It can be quite a shock (it was to me) to receive your child’s first set of boarding school grades, especially when you are used to them doing as little work as possible to get straight A’s. My oldest son’s first set of comments encouraged him to speak up more in class, study his notes every night and come for extra help (things he had never done before) to bring his grades up. To him, boarding school was a very big adjustment in teaching and learning styles. Make sure you and your son are talking to his advisor about your concerns so they are aware. Ours has been a huge help to our oldest, especially his Freshman year.
As a parent, I cannot stress to my kids enough that their GPA’s do not define who they are. They are lucky enough and fortunate enough to be surrounded by teachers who want to help them and see them succeed.
I also had a language-challenged kid who chose Latin over modern languages because of the speaking/listening challenges. Latin is tough, but in a different way–a kid who is good at memorizing and analyzing can do quite well.
And I also agree that B’s and C’s first term in classes that are not the kid’s strengths, first term of boarding school are pretty normal. A lot could just be adjustment to a different way of learning.
In general, I’d say follow your kid’s instincts. There were a couple of times that my son chose to move from accelerated to regular classes (or to not take accelerated classes when invited by faculty). I worried at the time that he might be making a mistake with the “most rigorous classes available” college app. mantra running through my head–but he was right, I was wrong. I realize in hindsight that kids at selective boarding schools meet the “most rigorous classes” bar as soon as they walk through the door!
