<p>I'm a soph right now, and basically since freshman year I've wanted to transfer. I told my friends during spring sem last year, and it definitely seems like things aren't the same. </p>
<p>I live off campus without any of them, they all live together in the dorms on the same floor. They decided to go on a spring break trip without me, but told me about it the day after they finalized their agreements. </p>
<p>I'm borderline depressed, and one thing that really threw me off is the fact that one of our mutual friends also intends to transfer, and he already got into a school for this upcoming fall.</p>
<p>Is it me? I don't even know anymore. My roommate off campus sucks (old HS friend) and the stress I'm feeling this semester is intense. Finding internships, applying to colleges, taking the max course load with the toughest classes...</p>
<p>I'm not sure you guys can do anything besides say "cheer up", but I would like to hear some advice I may not have had, or someone who is/was in my shoes.</p>
<p>They don't seem like very good friends. Are you very close with them or kind of so-so? I'm not sure what the deal is if you're close with them. But if you're not that close, then don't worry about it, it's not your problem. Why are you borderline depressed? Is it because you don't have friends to hang out with other than the ones who live in the same hall? Give some more detail (like wha'ts the core/essential reason you'r enot happy?). I can't really say anything from experience because I haven't experienced that but I'll try my best.</p>
<p>It's only one more semester if I transfer (keyword, transfer ie. get accepted).</p>
<p>We all lived in the same dorm freshman year, and I assumed we were really close. But we've drifted to the point where I feel like an acquaintances. They were the friends I went out with every weekend, we ate dinner together, etc. </p>
<p>My "borderline depression" is this combination of all the crap. Classes, lack of friends to hang out with, worrying about/doing college apps. And those are just the college related ones. </p>
<p>I don't have that "core" group anymore, and frankly, I believe I was lucky to find these friends, because most of the other people on campus I can't stand (hence one reason I'm looking to transfer). Every thing's way too fratty, and you're measured by how much you can drink. </p>
<p>Now I live in an apt. and there's no way to make friends here. No one here I'd really like to hang out with (half regular adults, half reclusive college kids). </p>
<p>These friends were definitely a fluke, because I really can't stand most of the other people I've met. And of the few I do, they have their core groups and I'm not close enough with them. It's nearing the end of soph year so people already have their niche groups.</p>
<p>As I transfer, I'd be able to find friends since I'd be "new" and not as if I was hiding for 2 years.</p>
<p>I'm not actually medically depressed, because I mentally don't see a reason for it, but I'm pretty damn disheartened.</p>
<p>I can understand your situation and your being depressed by it. How come you decided not to live with the other kids in the dorm? Why did you tell them you want to transfer so soon? I think those two actions are what's causing the problem. That being said....you may have a rough semester ahead before you transfer out. </p>
<p>Many times when someone decides to transfer and alerts their friends, it causes a feeling of seperation from them. It's hard to maintain the same level of friendship after that since they know that your leaving and don't want to invest as heavily in someone who won't be around for long. I started a thread about that very issue on the transfer forum. Most people responded that it is best not to say until right before they leave.</p>
<p>All you can do is focus on your school work and applications and do the best you can until you transfer. Make sure you apply to a couple of safety schools if you are sure you want to leave.
Good luck!</p>
<p>Definitely focus on your transfer apps. Look to the future, think about how it's going to be better. Life doens't seem so bad if you have something to look forward to you know?</p>
<p>In the meantime are there clubs you can still join? If you busy your schedule with activities then time will go much faster and you won't have so much downtime to start thinking about how down you feel. Don't tell people you're transferring...just meet people like usual. I'm guessing you just wnt this semester to go by as fast as possible, so make yourself busy!</p>
<p>But definitely still focus on your apps....make sure you can transfer out.</p>
<p>I'm only applying to top schools, and the reason being that I'm at a solid school, which costs very little. I don't see a point in transferring "up", so I'm only applying to where I like, and let's just say they're the most selective of colleges</p>
<p>I didn't live with them because I didn't get a housing contract, but even before they knew I didn't, they already made plans for who would live together this year. </p>
<p>One of our other friends said he was intending to transfer, and he bailed out of a housing contract with them right before the deadline and screwed them over, yet they're cool with him. This is obviously more than just me saying I want to transfer so eff it, I'll just keep it moving.</p>
<p>Sounds like a lot of the problem are your friends....i mean, even if you're having a really hard semester, having a good group of friends can help you feel sane. especially if you're worried about not being able to transfer, i would work on trying to meet new people. people always say this, but join a club or get involved that something you're interested in...finding new people you like spending time with will help you with trying to cope with stress, as well as probably make you feel more welcome/connected at the school you're at now. I wouldn't view transferring as the only solution to this problem, especially if you're worried about being accepted into another school...it'll stress you out even more, which you don't need right now.</p>
<p>You're right, but I really haven't been able to find a group I like chilling with. I'm in clubs, and enjoy the people in them, but these are all academic clubs, and I don't see them being friends of mine outside of the clubs. Plus as I said, everyone really does have their core group of friends already.</p>
<p>wow, i can completely relate. i've gone through this experience a couple times, so i know exactly how you feel.</p>
<p>first of all, let me just say that just because your friends are being *******s, it does not mean you are a terrible person. i've found that groups of friends tend to go in cycles; one minute you're best friends, the next minute you're not. sometimes, it just doesn't work out, and you may not have done anything wrong. </p>
<p>personally, my core group of friends completely turned their back on me this year. i did everything i could to get them to forgive me- i may have even neglected some other friends in the process. what was worse was that they never hid the fact that they were ditching me; they would openly talk about how much fun they had the last weekend hanging out without me, and they would make plans that didn't include me when i was right there. it progressively got worse until i literally felt i had no one to call up on a weekend to hang out with. i had never been independent before, and i didn't know what to do with myself. i'm a nice person who gets along great with people, yet that didn't seem to be enough to my supposed friends. </p>
<p>while there was a time where i was mildly depressed and simply threw myself into my sport and my school work, i eventually decided not to let the situation bring me down. i used the time alone to become more independent and confident than i have ever been. i made more close friends in those few months than i ever had before. when i finally became a much stronger person, my old group of friends started warming up to me again. we've begun hanging out again and we're on good terms, however i now know i don't need to define myself by a group of people. now, i usually go out one night of the weekend with various groups of people, and i want to take at least one night for myself. </p>
<p>i've found that friendships are odd because you can get along great with someone in class or at a club, yet neither of you takes that extra step to become really close. i say go for it. go out to coffee or see a movie with a few people you know pretty well. you may find yourself surprised.</p>
<p>I have a question for those of you who aren't freshman..</p>
<p>do your friend circles change a lot as each year passes by? in the begining of freshman year you meet a lot of people and after a while you meet less and less and the people you do meet you'd have to see them a lot to really become friends. at least that's me so far. so i was wondering if your friend circles kept changing and evolving or if freshmen --> senior year was similar. </p>
<p>transfer-hopes, i already replied but basically, meet new people, dont stress out over your old firends cuz they don't sound liek such good friends.</p>
<p>I think that friends shift continually during the college years. As you grow and change, what you need in friendships change as well. Besides that, college is different than HS in that you tend to be more spread out and collect friends from all over the place and may not have a group of friends but just one friend here and another there. That seems to be my S's experience. He has friends from his frat, friends from clubs, friends from classes, friends from his dorm. None of them are friends with each other and he sees the different friends at different times. It can be a bit unsettling till you get used to it since most are used to having a core group and that's it. Try and be open to a change and get to know kids wherever. Once you open yourself up, you may find new friends in unexpected places.</p>
<p>yeah i went through the same things you did in junior high and high school, except that high school was worse, you would have a core group of friends but would always get left out. And since the core group of friends are so used to being included and invited wherever, when they don't get invited once a while they complain, it seems like they only care about themselves. True friends i believe are that anytime, any place you need them, they'll be there no matter what.</p>