Honestly, I don’t really know what I’m doing, but I guess I want to vent and get this all out. It’s almost the end of my senior year at hs and I’m so scared and uncertain of my future. Nearly my whole graduating class has their future figured out, they know what college they’re going to, got a major in mind, have already done deposits and found their roommate. Meanwhile I’m still waiting around for some more letters of either rejection or acceptance, well at this rate probably more rejections. I just got rejected from my dream school, UofM, and you cannot imagine the disappointment and disillusion I’m in. My parents have been rooting for me to get in from the very beginning and I’ve worked for months on my essays and grades. I’m not posting my stats rn just bc I’m still so upset and disillusioned. And the worst part is I haven’t even told them as I don’t even know how to break that news. I have a couple of friends who got in and heard right away, and don’t get me wrong I’m so happy for them, they worked just as hard and deserve it. But I just can’t help but feel jealous, even of the ones that got waitlisted bc at least there’s that small hope or chance, while I just got flat out rejected. I’ve applied to other schools too, and so far have got into MSU, university of Iowa, DePaul, LSSU, Drexel, Quinnipiac, Temple, Hope college, and Franklin university. Got rejected from Harvard, Stanford, USC, John Hopkins, and Boston, which I’m not too shocked about as I applied just to shoot my shot yk. And finally got waitlisted at Chapman. Still waiting for some more letters from other colleges but I’m not feeling too good about it. As my last year comes to an end, I just feel so discouraged about my future, I have no idea what college I’m going to or how to prepare (first gen). The schools I got accepted to are great and all, but idk, I just feel disappointed still. It seems like everyone is getting accepted to their dream schools or getting such amazing offers left and right and I’m here just trying to understand myself and this mess. And what I feel rn is just nothing, I feel absolutely empty about all of this rn. There’s no tears, no pouting, no sighs, no tantrums, just emptiness, a blank face and heart after all these acceptance and rejections. Sorry if I sound like I’m whining or something but I these were just some stuff I’ve been bottling up and I’m just way to embarrassed to tell my friends or family. Thanks.
What do you want to study ?
I remember my older D had a lot of reach rejections this time of year and we did a bit of " your loss, dumb college! your cafeteria sucks anyway! " kind of venting. A bit of sour graping can be a healthy way to deal with it imo.
What is UofM? We can help you think of something not great about whichever college it is.
Then look at your acceptances and find something nice about each college.
Finally, it always helps me personally to also think that there may be a reason for a disappointment. There might be a great opportunity waiting for you at the college you do go to.
Have you been accepted any where yet?
“…and so far have got into MSU, university of Iowa, DePaul, LSSU, Drexel, Quinnipiac, Temple, Hope college, and Franklin university.”
This is NOT a mess, this is your life. And you shouldnt feel sad or depressed or compare yourself to others. Once you leave HS you leave that world behind. Anywhere you go you will learn tools to find yourself as you grow and mature. Here’s another insight, most adults have no clue what they want to do with their future, and kids who appear to have it all figured out don’t always. Take the good things you have and lift your chin up! Be proud of yourself. Life is a marathon, not a sprint!
You’re not alone. Lots of students are very disappointed right now. UofM is very selective and has some weird admission practices. It’s OK to grieve a bit but you have some great acceptances and you need to make a choice between them, so try to reorient yourself and think about these colleges.
@cherrylover you wrote: “Nearly my whole graduating class has their future figured out,…”
This is so far from the truth, a good portion of them will change their mind about their career path several times, many will change majors and many will get degrees in an area they will never work in. PLEASE don’t think you have to have it all figured out, that kind of pressure at your age is to much. Morn the loss of the colleges you wanted to go to and find some joy in the fact that you’ve been admitted to some very good schools. Try and find someone you can talk with about this in person, a friend, a family member, a school counselor or medical/psychiatric provider. They can help you sort through these feelings (and know many of these feelings are very normal, many of your classmates are feeling the same way – even the ones who are registered, paid deposits and have roommates).
Nearly my whole graduating class has their future figured out,
Nope - everyone has an answer, no one has it figured out
OK, here’s the speech I gave to the Seniors I teach today.
In the past few weeks, quite a few of you have heard from colleges. And some of the news has been good, some not so good. So here comes the “Mom Speech” with 2 main points:
- You will bloom where you're planted. You know how, in fairy tales, the princess has to kiss a lot of toads before she finds her prince? It's not like that with colleges. They're all princes. Every school has a list of kids hoping and praying for acceptances to that school. So it's up to you. Decide to bloom. Decide to learn what makes that college so special, why other kids are praying they get in.
Yep, it hurts to have your application rejected. And I highly reccommend a 24 hour pity party, complete with Ice cream therapy. It’s less harmful than booze (and legal for 18 year olds) and much cheaper than conventional therapy. Extra points for whipped cream and hot fudge if you’re really hurting.
But after 24 hours, the pity party is over, and you move on to the choices you have. Choose from among your acceptance, and dive in head first. Decide to love it, decide to make the most of it, decide to bloom.
- (And I will add, I teach in a Catholic School.) I firmly believe that God has a plan for each of us. And that He answers every prayer. But, unfortunately, sometimes the answer is No. So you've got to take your answer, and trust that God will put you where you should be. Perhaps you were meant to be a big fish in a smaller pond than you envision yourself. Perhaps God has reasons for wanting you to be closer to home, or in a more connected community than you saw yourself. But when God speaks, your job is to shut up and listen.
OP, you have some wonderful choices: " so far have got into MSU, university of Iowa, DePaul, LSSU, Drexel, Quinnipiac, Temple, Hope college, and Franklin university. "
The next 3 weeks are the time to look into every one of those colleges and play the hand you’ve been dealt. Do your homework, figure out which of those choices is the best one for you. Which will allow you to grow the most? Which one is most likely to contain people with whom you’ll “click”-- which one gave you the best vibe when you visited?
Quinipiac is an excellent school on the rise. It’s own law school and new PA program for those who would like to be in the medical field.
Michigan State and Iowa. Outstanding.
MSU has more CEOs of Fortune 100 companies than Harvard MIT or Wharton!
“has their future figured out, … got a major in mind,”
I remember when one daughter while in high school mentioned that she had no idea what she wanted to major in, while all of her friends had already decided. I pointed out that yes indeed they had decided what their major will be, but in six months it will be something else, and by the time that they graduate from university it will be something entirely different. Now approximately four years later the friends do indeed have different majors (and both daughters have gone to university and changed their major at least once). In reality high school students do not have their future figured out, and if they do they are probably going to discover that their future is different from what they have imagined.
I know quite a few people who have been very successful. None of them took the shortest path from high school through university to whatever career they ended up in. All of them floundered for a while before finding the thing that they ended up doing very successfully. This is normal.
“so far have got into MSU, university of Iowa, DePaul, LSSU, Drexel, Quinnipiac, Temple, Hope college, and Franklin university.”
You have been accepted to a pretty long list of very good universities. You can do well at most if not all of these schools.
When I went to graduate school I was rejected by my first choice “dream” university (which was Cornell). I went to my second choice. I loved it. I am still very glad that Cornell rejected me.
What are you passionate about? Something that you do imagine to be your future self?
When we moved S in to his dorm freshman yr, there was a program (speakers) for the parents re transitioning to college. One of the speakers was the head of the career center which was renamed to include “Personal Development”. That’s what college is about - personal development.
He went through many statistics about career changes, major changes, etc. and then used a chart to show that the kids who come in as freshman with a decided major / career path and stick to that are actually quite unusual. A very low number. He was trying to warn the parents not to get on the kids for changing their minds. It happens a lot. You’re in great company.
Enjoy the journey!
That’s completely normal what you’re feeling. As you get older, rejection doesn’t get any easier. They just go from college applications to job applications. I’ve had more than my fair share of rejection from places I really wanted to work at. It’s a tough pill to swallow, and you never really get “used” to it. The best thing you can do for yourself is NOT compare yourself to others. Embrace what you have. How well it works for you is a matter of choice.
Hey @cherrylover, I understand how bad it feels right now to feel now. But you will realize at some point that life is a marathon, not a sprint, and you’re barely past the starting line of the journey. It probably feels like you’re at the 5m mark and everyone else has already passed the 100m mark – they’re way ahead of you, they know what they’re doing with their lives, they’ve got their dream school. You’re never going to catch up. But kind of like what the others have said, this current snapshot of your life will have very little correlation with where everyone ends up 10 years from now. If you work hard and make the most of the opportunities, you can be somewhere near the front of the pack by mile 10 of this marathon.
I went to a very competitive university, so it probably seemed like I was way ahead of the pack during my time of graduating college. But after graduating, I’ve been lost at times, meandering, and the script has flipped. Now I see my former classmates who were “behind” me blazing their trails ahead, going to Med school, grad school, living their lives with purpose. Not everyone has figured it out, but all I’m saying is that the scene today (8 years ahead of where you are now) looks very different from it did at the beginning of the race.
So the sum it all up. If you feel inferior, channel that anger into drive. Work hard. Explore your interests, and try to find something that you want to devote your heart to. I used the marathon analogy not because life should be a competition, but because you can’t help but compare yourself to other people at times. And if you find something you’re interested in and willing to work hard at, not only will you be at the head of the pack, but you’ll also feel no need to look around and compare yourself to others because you’ll derive your satisfaction from within.