<p>Others are far more equipt to lead your towards colleges, but as a mother of a child who had an IEP and an attorney who has represented others, I can not relate to having an IEP that is not implemented.</p>
<p>In IEP is a legal document. Enforce it. The better prepared you can get your daughter the greater her chance for going to college and achieving her dreams. An old Time magazine article was my wake up call years ago. It explained that if your school's administrators don't run when they see you coming, you're not doing your job as a parent.</p>
<p>It is extremely expensive to implement a well crafted IEP that will get your child to where you want her. She might need an aide to help her transition from normal classes to special ed classes, special software, speech or other therapy. Some IEPs even call for the school district to pay for expensive private schools. The laws are on the side of these children, make them work for you.</p>
<p>Affluent school districts can often be the most difficult to deal with. Their priorities are often elsewhere. It also sounds like you have other kids at the same school which often makes it hard to put your foot down. When I was in that situation I hired a psychologist to come to IEP meetings and be the bad guy while I smiled.</p>
<p>All this is to say worry about college later. Your post scared me when I read they are pulling your daughter out for some higher level activities. IMO, it should be the opposit. A child with special needs is bound to be better served if they are with their peers and pulled out where they can't handle the work. Good luck!</p>
<p>As noted, transition planning is not mandated until the student is 14 years of age...usually nineth grade. You might want to get information on Mitchell College. It is a wonderful small school with excellent support services for students of ranging abilities. We know two fabulous kids who are now working with others in various settings. One works in daycare and is mighty well liked and successful. The other is a job coach. Both are Mitchell grads who took advantage of what the school had to offer them.</p>
<p>this is a ms child but yes i know a person at thames academy at mitchell its kinda a pg program at a college...the grl who i know is freakin amazing..shes auesome</p>
<p>As a teacher and a mother who has known lots of children, dealt with many IQ tests (not as accurate as you'd think), and many special children, this is my advice....</p>
<p>Follow your gut. You know your daughter better than anyone, including her teachers, therapists, and IQ evaluators. If you believe your daughter can go to college someday, she will. Remember, she processes slowly but she can understand. She just needs more support and time than other kids. </p>
<p>If she were my daughter, I'd try hard to ignore anyone who paints a dim picture of her future. I'd stimulate her mind relentlessly. I'd read to her every single day and talk to her all the time. I'd spend lots of time in the park together...touching, looking, talking. I'd get a pet and put her in charge of it. I'd take her to museums and travel. I'd enroll her in carefully chosen activities that help her make nice friends. I'd keep the bar high. I'd talk with her about her future with excitement. </p>
<p>Then as decision time approaches, I'd search for a local college where she could take things really slowly and get support. I've seen several low-average IQ kids go to college successfully. They don't get done in four years, but they do just fine. I've also known some kids who find wonderful vocational schools and go on to amazing careers. I know a nurse, a luxury auto mechanic, and a vet assistant all of whom were "low-average" ability kids. They are wonderful young adults.</p>
<p>Your daughter sounds delightful. Her warmth, kindess, and desire to achieve are qualities that some kids with higher test scores will never have. Don't let the system pull her down.<br>
Best wishes!</p>
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Also, check with your state voc rehab office, if she has a documented LD, they can help with testing, educational funding etc.
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<p>I am not trying to be negative, but some cities haven't a vocational rehab at all. Where I live, it is 100% bankrupt and has had some kind of "hold" in place since 1995 or so!</p>
<p>Expense is an issue. (To be brief, we moved to an expensive area for the excellent schools, and then I had to leave my job to care for my daughter's needs. We have struggled to remain in our district for the sake of the other children with little left over for attorneys and other paid specialists, although we have used advocates in the past with mixed results. But I don't want this to be a sob story.)</p>
<p>We are doing the best we can to implement her IEP and help her "fit" within the school system...but all of the work in every class is just too hard for her, while the special classes would not be appropriate for her either. Thanks to "least restrictive environment", we were able to get her taken out of Special Ed. English (where there were only three other kids in the class, one mentally retarded, one medium-functioning autistic, and one elective mute) and put in a regular class with lots of support (tutor who reads to her and goes over what the book means, so that she can keep up with class discussion). Science and Social Studies are horrible for her...imagine having to sit and listen to a teacher talk way above your head for 45 minutes with people telling you to sit and listen and "see if you can learn a little bit here and there"...it would be like most of us sitting through nuclear physics...just not fair. But that's inclusion for you, which really doesn't work for her as it makes her feel stupid and inferior. However, just yesterday, she listened to the lecture and "got" the fact that the continents all used to be one big land mass, and asked the teacher why Europe and Asia are separate continents if they are still attached. So she is curious and cares, and when she gets it, it is wonderful. (Unfortunately, the teacher just said he didn't know...does anyone?)</p>
<p>But I digress. While we do the best we can to get her as educated as possible, I do want to know if there is something out there for her long term. I envision a college where maybe all of the kids are in her intellectual range, so that she feels like she "fits" with them. I know that kids are never all alike...but I'm hoping that some of you can continue to share your thoughts and experiences.</p>
<p>As far as social...well she is certainly sweet enough and knows how to be polite and take turns and make eye contact and all of that...however, since she doesn't always understand what kids her age are saying, it impacts her ability to be a part of a "regular" group...especially in our community where the kids are all "older" than they are anyway. It's hard to describe...I hope that helps.</p>
<p>Yes, I also see her doing an excellent job as a pre-school teacher or aide...but it is very hard when she sees her brothers looking at Penn or Cornell (even though she doesn't yet understand what a "good" college is).</p>
<p>TakeforGranted.... i don't want to stereotype here, but are you affiliated with a religious organization of some kind? The kids active in the various church and synagogue groups where I live seem "younger" than the other neighborhood kids, most of whom start dating in utero. Perhaps it's the focus on community service, or just hanging out with some of the adults who supervise and run the programs.... but that might be an avenue to help your daughter get a peer group which isn't so mature (or at least doing age-appropriate things. I got my car washed at a youth groups Darfur benefit last w/end.... the girls were all dressed for washing cars, and not for "clubbing". It was nice.)</p>
<p>A second suggestion is to focus on the IEP, the potential issues in HS, and to keeping her engaged in school, even when each day isn't going to be a fantastic experience for her. Nobody can predict where their kid will end up... not the Baby Einstein crowd, not the parents you meet in the grocery store who are convinced their kids science project is Nobel worthy, not the dad's who make their klutzy kids play a team sport they loathe "so he can get an athletic scholarship". What does this mean for you? Work to get your daughter the support she's entitled to and needs... and the issue of college and her future career will resolve itself.</p>
<p>Early in my career I worked for a man who was highly successful, made a ton of money, and had a lot of learning/processing issues. I didn't realize this until his secretary tipped me off.... I had taken to writing him short memos in response to questions he'd ask me, and I would get irritated when he'd show up in my office holding the memo and say, "why don't you walk me through this instead of making me read it?" He had phenomenal coping skills and was a very hard worker, hugely engaging on a personal level, charismatic in a group, etc. He is still highly successful in a corporate career, despite the fact that he can't read and comprehend complex ideas...writes poorly...you get the idea. What is his IQ? I have no idea-- but people adore him, and he found a career in a people-oriented field where he has a lot of support from secretaries, assistants, analysts, etc. who do the stuff he's not good at.</p>
<p>This could be your daughter.... keep her motivated, focus on making the school get her appropriate support, let the future take care of itself.</p>
<p>Our average IQ D was classified perceptually impaired in second grade, but she was always a very hard worker. The early years were tough because she had major problems learning to read. Some of her (public) school teachers were not very encouraging. But we always had this feeling that she could acheive her goals. We were her cheerleaders. We hired tutors to help her especially in the lower grades and for math in middle and high school. Freshman year, her high school LDTC caseworker said she should consider transferring to the local vocational school (non-college track) Our D replied, "Oh that sounds nice, but I'm going to college!" I remember she looked at me, and I nodded my head, "yes". We encouraged her to study what she loved (art). She graduated Ramapo College of NJ with a Bachelor of Art in Visual Art in 4 YEARS with a 3.2 GPA! We were so proud we cried the whole day of graduation! She is working as an assistant designer in an interior design firm. She's studying to become a Certified Interior Designer. Don't underestimate the value of a hard working student. It truly is a gift as much as high intelligence. Many of her classmates with "higher abilities" are still years away from graduating because they can't "find themselves".</p>
<p>Mmom, how very proud you must be of your darling D. She sounds like a wonderful young lady with a great future ahead of her. You are right that we have a role as their coaches, cheerleaders, and supporters. There is so much that kids can do if they BELIEVE & know that folks believe in them! We look forward to reading more wonderful things about your D.</p>
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just yesterday, she listened to the lecture and "got" the fact that the continents all used to be one big land mass, and asked the teacher why Europe and Asia are separate continents if they are still attached. So she is curious and cares, and when she gets it, it is wonderful. (Unfortunately, the teacher just said he didn't know...does anyone?)
<p>Yes I know there's a difference between a mandated service and whether the state and locality carries it out well, or even at all. My family lived in TN for a year til employer went bankrupt..some places there had services and some places not. But I'm a big believer in finding out what's actually written into law and advocating when they're supposed to follow through. But sometimes the only thing that works is to move to a different locality or state where it's done better, and we've had to do that many times to get DS his ed , med, and service needs. Long waiting lists stink though.</p>
<p>Good for you bookcases. An unfunded mandate is still a mandate, and services for the special needs child will make a tremendous difference in how their future is shaped. A family needs to decide if they can get what they need where they are or to go elsewhere. I myself did a move years ago to where attitudes were better for my son with bigger needs. My gifted kids did well anywhere with help from home.</p>
<p>Taken, I'm happy to help with legal advice you may need. High school tends to be where it falls apart for kids with unusual needs. It becomes silly for many to sit through classes not designed for them. Especially in a district with many high achievers. Least restrictive often becomes the wing other kids go to only for lawn bowling. Constructing a meaningful program is essential.</p>
<p>Check out Mitchell College in New London, CT. From their website:</p>
<p>"Mitchell College is a coeducational, private residential institution offering associate and bachelor degree programs in the liberal arts and professional areas. The college is dedicated to providing a challenging education in a caring and cooperative environment for all students, including those with untapped potential and those with diagnosed learning disabilities. </p>
<p>To us, each student is important. We can help you move smoothly from high school to college, building a solid academic foundation that will enable you to realize your future aspirations."</p>
<p>Sorry, I meant to specify that I was in the Connecticut area.</p>
<p>We had a neuropsych once recommend the Riverview School for high school, but it's a residential school and she is not ready to be away from home nor can they necessarily handle health issues. However, if you google the school, which is on Cape Cod, it seems to have the kind of kids that are similar to my daughter.</p>
<p>Well, hey Take0ForGranted :) in Connecticut, you do not have to worry about anything going bankrupt, right! There is a plus right there. LOL!</p>
<p>Is a Quaker Day School a possibility? Most of the schools which pertain to my relgious affiliation really do not judge. Not to say that other schools would. I am just saying that a Quaker School (a "Friends School") would really be open to working along with your child, that is all.</p>
<p>We did visit a Quaker Day School, a "Friends" school. They could not accomodate her although they were very nice about it. They don't do any kind of special ed. stuff; in fact, they were more oriented toward helping the gifted child. This school only went to 8th grade anyway.</p>
<p>I wonder if anyone knows a better place/message board to find information? I can see that this forum is more appropriate for kids on the brighter side of the spectrum I (hence the "acceleration of a seven year old thread which is getting a lot more input than this is. :) )</p>
<p>Your daughter's temperament and aspirations should take her a long way. My daughter, possibly slightly more capable, but I'm not sure, attended an ordinary not very selective liberal arts college with great success. What she did have was an opportunity to attend an excellent boarding high school which really pushed her to attain all of the necessary academic skills to survive. The two schools I would add to what you have already gotten from other posters are Curry College and Davis and Elkins College, specifically the D&E William James Program. Even though finances are a concern, (aren't they a concern, really, in almost every case), the colleges do offer financial aid. If you don't do anything else, I would urge you, for your own sake, to request some literature from those schools for you to read now as you consider your daughter's prospects as she gets into high school. I am sure that she could function in some higher education setting. By all means, too, push your school in Connecticut to provide everything your daughter needs to insure she receives adequate preparation for college. Good luck.</p>