Someone on Reddit recommended this site to me after I had posted my questions there so here’s the repost. Sorry for the e length.
My mother is somehow determined to get me into Harvard and as quite the domineering woman, nothing I will say can sway her.
Last summer I had attempted suicide due to a myriad of issues and when my Father told me that I was an illegal immigrant last fall (thanks dad, could’ve let me known earlier ?!!), I basically gave into depression and emotional apathy. I think I’m a DREAMer at least… To make matters even more terrifying, my citizenship (by the time I graduate) will be completely at the mercy of whoever wins the whitehouse.
I started off the year with a 3.8 GPA but now I’m stuck with a B average (except for one class) this year. Only 2 of my classes are AP and I’m taking two community college classes next year which only count as honors in my school. I had hoped to go into econ but now I’m wondering if that’s even an option.
My family is economically disadvantaged and extracurriculars beyond church and Science Olympiad weren’t really an option with five kids and one car. My younger brother is the only one in our family that does extracurriculars (does Boy Scouts even count?) and that’s only due to the fact that he has a developmental delay. I refuse to tell my father to drop it and spend it on me because I’m they only focus on yelling at him when he screws up and I need him to learn how to form relationships.
Let me make this clear, I’m not really even aiming for Harvard or really any Ivies since I’m not stupid enough to belive I’ll make it in regardless if what my mother thinks. What I am aiming for is a school with a strong econ program or at least in place where I can try to forge connections and be around academia. For me I see it as a necessity as the degree I want isn’t exactly known for its strong job prospects.
I’m seriously frustrated with myself for fucking up so badly. I came from a not-the best background, got a chace to leave and let my emotions take that from me. I feel stupid for allowing that to happen. I don’t know what my college prospects are but I’m kinda desperate right now.