<p>I think talking about test scores publicly is like talking about money. It’s just kind of tacky. I can see telling a few close friends or family members how my child did, but never posting it on Facebook for the world to see. There are so many factors that go into good test performance. Testing comes easily to some kids and not others. It’s not necessarily a measure of superior intelligence and is certainly (at least in my son’s case) no reflection of how much work went into preparing for them (in his case, almost none).</p>
<p>Related to that, I would never post my kids’ acceptances, especially before he/she had made a decision. I would expect it to be like announcing a baby name before one’s child is born–instead of “Ew, I hate the name Roger! The most annoying kid in my fifth grade was a Roger!” it would be “I knew someone who graduated from there in 1992 and he isn’t very smart” or “Isn’t that the college that had the big scandal involving the mascot and an escort service?” or whatever. The last thing I would want is for the court of public opinion to add to the already arduous college selection process.</p>
<p>Bragging about one’s own children has become somewhat of the norm lately. Whether it is sports, college acceptances or anything else, I can’t go to a social gathering without hearing how exceptional everyone’s child is. I am very proud of my children, but I don’t spend my entire time at parties running around talking about their achievements. We have a group of friends who all have children and we recently created a policy of “no kid talk” when we get together. It is so refreshing! Who would have guessed it? We parents have lives and interests too.</p>
<p>I posted my kids’ acceptances when they happened, but those were simultaneously final decisions as they were ED. My friends were happy for me, just as I am or was or will be happy for them. That’s why it’s called friendship. SAT scores? Tacky. Other good news? Bring it on.</p>
<p>The OP and anyone can do what they prefer on FB (or not on FB). It’s a social network and you can be as “social” as you want. I sometimes think “I wouldn’t post that” (like my kid’s SAT scores), but to each his own. I did post DD’s acceptances and my friends and relatives were thrilled and excited for her. She didn’t mind (as long as I didn’t tag her in the post - I hardly ever do this - no reason for her friends to see my FB page). Everyone draws the line in the sand at a different point. If someone is over the top and it bothers you, just “hide” them.</p>
<p>“If athlete’s performances are printed in box scores on the front page of the sports section of the newspaper, what’s wrong with students printing their academic performance on Facebook?”</p>
<p>This is my theory. Why do we have to listen to every great athlete’s accomplishments, including times (think track or swimming) and have to sit quietly when our child does something we are proud of?</p>
<p>Yes, I posted my child’s ACT score on Facebook; proudly & with permission from said child.</p>
<p>I probably wouldn’t post because it’s kid’s score not mine, but I have friends with kids who have had hard challenges academically, and I really enjoy hearing that the kid has overcome a hurdle, whether it’s making honor roll or getting a great test score.</p>
<p>I hate the day after report cards come out … </p>
<p>“I’m so proud of Suzie for making the straight A honor roll … this makes the 40th consecutive quarter!”. (not a real post - just for illustration)</p>
<p>Gag.</p>
<p>I do post when we visit colleges - it’s kind of like posting our vacations (one and the same this year). The schools are more average than elite, and it’s interesting to see suggestions others make. I am not FB friends with my daughter, and I refuse to friend any of her peers (though I do get asked), particularly since I’m a teacher.</p>
<p>I would wonder if the parent posting their kid’s SAT scores on FB had their kid’s permission to do so. I think it is a privacy and etiquette issue. The only other person I brag to is my Mom, and have always said, Grandma can appreciate your kids’ accomplishments, imho other than that it is tacky. Never shared my kids’ SAT/ACT scores, bc my kids would have been insulted at such bragging and frankly might make friends feel uncomfortable, awkward. why go there? it’s one of the nice aspects of CC, that you can share anonymously</p>
<p>I put up pictures of my kids but no details of achievements. I haven’t yet put up where my older S will be attending law school this fall. The thought of putting up my younger son’s GMAT score made me laugh, especially since he’s now my FB friend and so are a couple of his friends.</p>
<p>Sorta related, I happened to come across this:</p>
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<p>Susannah Breslin, writing in Forbes, explains why it’s good to let it all hang out. Among other reasons, she says it makes you stronger. Depending on the person, that’s probably true.</p>
<p>I have not posted my son’s scores on Facebook. However, I do wonder how the world would see them (if I did post them) when by definition it is a network restricted to close friends? To post or not is all a question of motives and intentions, to me. Is it really that you do not want to brag or is it that you are a mean person who does not want others to find out about opportunities? For example, if you do not reveal how the National Merit Scholarship process works and how your kid made NMSF/F, is it because you don’t want to brag or do not want your friends to find out how, so they do not help their younger kids prepare for it and do better than your child? When I post, it is because I hope they will ask questions and use the info. to help their kids.</p>
<p>OP, part of your scorn seems to come from the fact that the score is, by your standards, low. Would you have been less offended if the kid had scored 2350? If not, why mention it?</p>
<p>Actually, that would be considered tacky in my extended family. The business/engineer side for hurting the feelings of cousins/siblings who weren’t as successful…the scholarly/intellectual side because they view admission just as another chance to prove/challenge oneself at another stage of life…not an accomplishment in itself. They tend to save the celebrating for graduations when one has a degree/accomplishments in hand. </p>
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<p>Some former supervisors I’ve worked with would be leery of anyone subscribing to that philosophy above. Especially when they’ve noticed that people who have TMI tendencies in one/some area of their lives tend to carry that over into other areas…including the workplace where it could jeopardize client/institutional confidentiality obligations and possibly subject the firm to a massive lawsuit. </p>
<p>Seen biglaw attorneys, finance/banking analysts, and IT staff fired when they allowed their TMI tendencies to carry over into blabbing too much about work which they were obligated to keep confidential from anyone not involved with the company/client/cases. </p>
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<p>Agreed. </p>
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<p>While it is nice for a given acquaintance or friend to post about such opportunities, they are not obligated to do so IMO. Responsibility for that lays mainly with the individual student and his/her family. </p>
<p>I personally am more than happy to help IRL…but feel this should be of the individual’s own voluntary inclination…not out of what I feel is a misguided sense of moral/ethical obligation.</p>
<p>IMHO, the attitude that this is an obligation is not too far removed from problems my friends and I have had of some friends and relatives EXPECTING free help for our expertise in various areas(i.e. IT, law, etc)…even if it is a massive imposition. </p>
<p>It’s one reason why some friends and I charge friends/relatives for our expertise-based help even at a discounted rate…it’s a good reminder that our expertise and free-time is valuable and should not be casually imposed upon. </p>
<p>It’s also a reason that when relatives do voluntarily provide free services…I feel a great obligation to return the favor in spades. After all, they didn’t have to do so…and more importantly…shouldn’t feel obligated to do so.</p>
<p>If Facebook had existed when I was going through admissions, I would have died a thousand deaths if my parents had posted anything re: scores or admittances. Announcing where child has decided to attend is acceptable, but anything more is just one ups-man-ship. Be proud, but direct your praise at the one who earned it - your child.</p>
<p>I have a facebook friend who posts EVERYTHINg about her (young) kids, including very personal information concerning nightmares, potty training, her little boy wanting to be a princess for Halloween (that she also got into a newspaper story and on NPR). I don’t think she realizes that this stuff never goes away- it will always exist somewhere in cyberspace. And I think it will only accelerate as the kids get older- every art project, swim meet, vocal performance, prom date.<br>
Another neighbor posted photos of her daughter’s dorm room (which the mom decorated), and her daughter’s student ID card. That’s when I decided to unfriend her. I will post a photo of my D and me from time to time, but that is it. I don’t comment on her stuff, either, much as I would like to. She hates that! I only say things about her here on CC because I believe (maybe erroneously) that this is an anonymous forum. Maybe some of you live down the street- who knows?</p>
<p>OP, part of your scorn seems to come from the fact that the score is, by your standards, low. Would you have been less offended if the kid had scored 2350? If not, why mention it?</p>
<p>As I wrote in a previous post, I was not looking down at the kids score but at the mom publicizing what I consider personal information. I never intended to suggest that the score is low, just that it was not that exceptional. I imagine myself as that child, with mom bragging and making a big deal that I got an 85 on my test when I knew that dozens of my friends got in the 90s. Posting the score simply added what I would consider an additional level of discomfort to an already awkward situation, which is partly why I included that detail. On the other hand, if the score had been a 2350 I would still have found it cringe-worthy. I would not post my kids scores regardless of what they were.</p>
<p>I think it’s great that the parent is proud of her kid, and she should be! It sounds like her child did very well on the test, and for that child, it may be an especially awesome score.</p>
<p>I didn’t post my kids’ scores on FB, but I don’t mind when people do. My child might mind though, and if they do, I wouldn’t post it.</p>
<p>I try to keep my wider audience in mind when I post on facebook. I have a friend who’s spouse is nearing a year in a coma following an accident, a friend whose child has been in and out of the hospital for months trying to get an accurate diagnosis for a seizure disorder, a friend whose son just lost a big chunk of his intestines, friends whose kids are trying to pull themselves together after being diagnosed with major mental health issues, a friend whose kid finished the first semester with a 1.5 GPA, friends whose kids are facing legal issues… The list of other people’s issues, known and unknown, goes on and on. </p>
<p>Is my post going to cause anyone to feel worse than they already do?</p>
<p>Usually I post the funny absurdities of my life and try to keep the bragging to a minimum.</p>
<p>However, I celebrate any positive posts from all friends. It may seem like bragging on the surface, but in reality that SAT score may be the only positive news that family has had in the last month.</p>
<p>People use FB in different ways. For many, I think it is an easy way to stay in touch with family and long distance friends…sometimes the only way pictures and updates will be sent along. I don’t think it wise to post actual scores, but general “I’m so proud of my kid” things seem fine to me.<br>
I don’t think anyone here said or implied this, but sometimes it seems as though it’s OK to brag about athletic things, but expressing the same pride about academic persuits seems frowned upon…just an observation.</p>
<p>Maybe the child already took it and didn’t score well the first time. This could be a second attempt with a higher score due to more studying. Maybe the parent was just happy to see their child do better.</p>