<p>so basically, u're going to ask her out because u think taht she likes u, and not because u like her. that's the way to go!!</p>
<p>i don't care how much a girl likes me (and let me be honest with u, i have had many who bothered me and begged me to go out with them), i will reject her if i don't like her. the only girl that i will like is someone who is distant, so far from my reach... a woman from a tropical island....</p>
<p>Well it wouldn't be a major problem if I didn't like her, now would it.</p>
<p>there's so many strikes
1.she has a boyfriend
a.doesn't matter girls love attention,especially from other guys
b.love triangles====guys (get killed/go to jail/end up broke) over girls..especially when it comes to a love triangle
2.your about to move...what's da point in wanting a relationship,especially at this age.focus on your education,and career.when your in your 20's having options>>>being with 1 girl</p>
<p>
[quote]
Alright, so I'm a senior in high school in San Francisco, CA. I've just met the coolest girl ever at work about a month ago. We both really like each other. We flirt all the time at work. We've hung out and stuff after work, and I really want to ask her out. I have two major problems though. She has a boyfriend (that's she's been with for a year). He's a major pothead and he raps (whiteboy in the suburbs). Her dad hates him. The thing is she has NEVER told me she has a boyfriend. Like we've even talked about the people we've dated, and she doesn't mention the fact that she has a current boyfriend. Whenever I'm with her, she doesn't answer her cell phone. Then there is the another problem. I'm going to Georgetown next year, and she's staying here in the Bay Area to go to college.</p>
<p>I know people say long distance never works, but god I would try soooo hard to make it work for this girl. I KNOW I can trust myself not to cheat on a girl. I know she won't be living in the dorm in her college, she's going to live in an apartment near her parent's house. So maybe that would lessen the temptation. Obviously, its all really up to her if she wants to dump her boyfriend for a guy that's leaving in 3 months. I'm just looking for advice here. Thanks in advance.
[/quote]
1. Go for it. Always. That's the #1 rule in life. </p>
<p>Her boyfriend sounds like a loser anyway, and she's clearly looking for something better. If she turns you down, so what? It wasn't meant to be, but at least you know. You stepped up.</p>
<ol>
<li>First go out with her, THEN decide if the long distance thing has a shot. My guess is it doesn't, but who knows? And more importantly, why are you asking yourself that question? You don't even know if she wants to go out with you and you're already wondering about long distance?</li>
</ol>
<p>how'd it go, buddy?</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I would have to agree with charizardpal. It would probably be wise to wait until you could date a clone of yourself, since people tend to be most attracted to those who are most like them anyway.</p>
<p>Why resist dating other people in college! In college, you'll find so many people that you have in common with and also never say never. I'm a good example I told myself that I'm not going to be in a relationship, nor date hahha I was wrong!</p>
<p>Okay so here's the update. I was gonna ask her out in this real romantic way with flowers and at sunset by the beach, but her friend found out and told her. So she kinda flipped out because she really liked me, but didn't want to say no and hurt me. So she kinda ignored me for a while when I called her, she was totally cool at work, but she didn't want to meet me.</p>
<p>So, I wrote her a little note/letter saying how it was ok to tell a boy no, and that sometimes its the most humane thing to do. One of the reasons that she didn't want to go out with me was because "I was too good for her," I guess she said "He's going to Georgetown, he's gonna do something with his life, what have I ever done?" So I told her that I didn't care where I was going to college and where she was going, that it was really unimportant (some of you will probably disagree), but all I really wanted was happiness. Then I talked about how maybe she was afraid of me leaving, and I said that I couldn't let that stop me, and that it scared the ***** out of me too. Then I brought up her boyfriend and talked about how she shouldn't put up with him. Then finally, I said that I was writing her all this as a friend, and that I wasn't trying to convince her to change her mind, just help her as a friend. </p>
<p>So basically, she loved it, and kinda opened up to me about stuff with her boyfriend. She said their relationship was horrible, and that she thinks they're done after what he did last night. She said she knew I liked her for a long time, and that she loves my personality, and talking to me and everything. She left going out in the future completely alone. She didn't say I was cute, even tho I kno she does, but she also didn't say that we were just going to remain friends, but right now we're just friends. I'm kinda helping her get through everything with her boyfriend right now, and we'll see if go out after that, but I know I've made a really good friend at least and will be able to help someone with their life.</p>
<p>The long distance thing is probably not gonna happen, since we will have so little time, but I'll definitely keep in touch. So we'll see what happens, but I do appreciate all the suggestions.</p>
<p>She's not good enough for you, even though you acted like a complete tool.</p>
<p>You landed in the friend zone and talked about her boyfriend with her. How much more pathetic can a man get?</p>
<p>Dayum...Laid it kinda hard on the original poster DeluxeHardballer....At least the OP tried to be honest.</p>
<p>Yea, I guess you're right caring about a girl's feelings and helping her get through a traumatic part of her life is only for tools. We'll see what happens, but so far I have no regrets.</p>
<p>Dude, you landed in the "just friend" zone, and its almost impossible to get out of it for a guy. So I think your relationship with her is just going to remain at that status (friends)</p>
<p>Its cool that you care alot about this girl but just dont get too attrached or commited. I guess you have some feelings for her since you wanted to be friends with her still after she didnt want to date you. And If she really like you, then she would have said yes to dating you. Not wanting to "hurt" you or not enough time is just an excuse and look if she was interested in you in that way...she would have taken the risk. </p>
<p>Gl and "caring about a girl's feelings and helping her get through a traumatic part of her life" is a great thing to do :p. Dont worry about what other ppl would say. at least you made a new friend..............</p>
<p>Yeah taht was kinda long</p>
<p>How is it that I only saw this post now? I would have told you NOT to do what you did with the flowers and all that. It was sweet, but not the right approach.</p>
<p>You have unfortunately as D'baller said so undiplomatically landed in her friend zone. It is a common mistake to think that being friends and having that kind of closeness can get you the next step closer. Sometime it does -- rarely -- but usually it means you are put on permanent hold status.</p>
<p>The question is: can you recover?</p>
<p>You seem to really be into this girl, and that makes what I am about to suggest tough, but just hear me out. You are going to college 2,800 miles away. Where's she going? USF, SF State, Sonoma, Santa Cruz? She'll be far away.</p>
<p>You are in a perfect position to have a fling, and a fling is all you should shoot for. She didn't talk about her boyfriend probably because on some level she thought she might want a possibility open with you. Now that it's out in the open you are in the friend zone -- bad.</p>
<p>A fling is good because, first off, if you guys are meant to be together (whatever that means) you'll have a much better chance if you just have something low-key now and let each other go one another's way. You're going to college; people change a lot there, and they move on. A long distance relationship even started now will NEVER last in the situation you are in. It just won't. And okay, if a one in a million person writes and says theirs worked out it's more like the exception that proves the rule. She's had a boyfriend already, she'll eventually have another when you leave.</p>
<p>To make the fling happen, stop with the romantic stuff and the honest talk about how she should treat herself better and all that. The number one thing you can do now is show her a good time and not be too earnest. Take her to something offbeat and fun; music, entertainment, whatever. Find out indirectly what she might like and do it.</p>
<p>Chances are it's too late to get out of the friend zone, but if you can make her figure that she has nothing to lose 'cause you are leaving, you might be able to get to the point of fling.</p>
<p>It seems like someone is trying to relive his teenage years by dwelling on teenage relationship matters. It's truly sad when people can't accept that they've aged. They should respect themselves for who they are, not try to pretend like they're still a teenager. They've had their chance; let us have ours. If they continue to be this way (by trying to gain the respect of teenagers on a forum rather than peers in real life), I'm afraid they will live a lonely life. A true reminder of A Streetcar Named Desire, except the protagonist is of the opposite sex.</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>'Tisthetruth, are you referring to moi, Stella? Ha. Bored? Yes. Tragic? It ain't that interesting. Withholding someone else's chances? God, no. In fact, hoping to improve them is all. What's the big deal?</p>
<p>I was referring to Blanche.</p>
<p>Oh ok it just got a whole lot more complicated. I was going to go to the movies last night with her and 2 of her friends, just as friends hanging out. So I meet her with her 2 friends at 8:30 in her friends car with her friend's mom driving. The mom asks what we're doing tonight and her best friend quickly responds that me and the girl I like are going out on a date. The girl I like just kinda blushed a little, but didn't say anything, and I kinda blushed too. I was not anticipating a date, and I wasn't sure if the she was joking or not. The other friend wasn't feeling well so we dropped her off and then went to her best friend's house to get her car. Before me and her got in the car, her best friend said make sure u put ur arm around her and kiss her goodnite, and the girl was like "best friend's name!!!" </p>
<p>So we get in the car, and she says she has to go home and change and get ready cuz she looks awful. And I tell her she looks just fine. So she brings me inside to meet her dad, while she changes. Her dad liked me and we talked about where I was going to college and then baseball because he likes baseball. So, we go to the movie, and I put my arm around her and everything, but I still wasn't positive if it was a date or not. The movie ends at 1 am, so take her home, and she hugs me goodbye in the car. I take walk her to her door, even tho she's like 'no, no, its ok.' I ask her if I can kiss her goodnight, and she's like "noooo." It sounds really awkward, but I dunno it wasn't, I played it off well too. She texts me like right once she gets inside saying thanks for tonight. And then I say you're welcome and apologize for asking to kiss her, that it was out of place. And she's like no it wasn't out of place, and says she'll see me tomorrow at work. </p>
<p>Like I'm almost positive it was a date, even tho I never asked her out. I know a lot of girls don't want to kiss on the first date, which is fine with me. She never mentioned that she broke up with her boyfriend tho. She told her friend that they weren't together anymore. Maybe she just didn't want to talk about it with me. I dunno, but I'm really confused right now. I'm just gonna kinda role with it. Oh and then another problem. Apparently, her boyfriend had her password to her profile on the website I sent the message on. I'm not sure if he ever read what I sent, I just know they got in a big fight over it earlier this week. Haha, so we'll see what happens. I'll see her today at work tho.</p>
<p>Oh, and bedhead she's going to one of those colleges where you can get an associates degree. Not a JC or CC. But I don't really care where she's going, but yea she'll be really far away.</p>
<p>Ok yea. She really likes me and we kissed twice tonight. So yea, things are over with her boyfriend, and we're dating. I'll ask her out, sometime soon at the beach at sunset with flowers.</p>
<p>You suck and you still fail. She must have been drunk to kiss you. Forget the flowers.</p>
<p>I guess if she's all girly and romantic and stuff the beach flower thing would be nice...but personally, it would freak me out. </p>
<p>I tend to be much more guyish in relationships, though, so I dunno...just throwing that out there for you to consider...it's not good to freak people you like out.</p>