Major Predicament with a girl

<p>It would freak me out too, but I'm weird.</p>

<p>Congrats on your story :p.</p>

<p>Anyway, That was pretty fast.. Im guessing you are just the rebound guy for her. I mean The girl just dumped her bf and kissing you the every next day.. So you guys arent dating yet? but that flower idea isnt that good</p>

<p>Umm, fine I won't bring flowers. I dunno, I don't think I'm the rebound guy. She seems to REALLY like me. Like she gets all nervous around me, and like whenever we look at each other we always kinda smile and giggle. It wasn't like she was like lets make out. She talked to me about a lot of stuff that was personal, and a lot of the regrets she has in life. And she's afraid of me hearing about anything dumb she's ever done. We'll see. Like right now, we definitely REALLY like each other right now.</p>

<p>lol this would make a somewhat OK movie, with the posts and all. man i wish i lived in SF nothing fun like that happens where i work, everyone just wants to go home...</p>

<p>You're definitely the rebound guy, but there isn't anything wrong with that. Enjoy the relationship until it's time for you to leave. I had a similar thing happen two summers back-- we worked together, she broke it off with her long-time boyfriend after we had been hanging out for a while after work, we dated, summer ended, we went our separate ways, etc., etc. The truth is that the summer was really good for our friendship. We still talk frequently and keep each other posted on our new romantic escapades but still manage to flirt a little when we see each other in person. It's a funny thing to have that kind of "history" with a friend. It can be the source of many a joke.</p>

<p>This sounds like the worst love story in the world.</p>

<p>You're the rebound guy.</p>

<p>You lost.</p>

<p>OP: You still here? 'Tisthetruth: You goin' to bust my balls again? Not that I really care.</p>

<p>Anyway, OP: You may or may not be a rebound guy, but Welshie got it absolutely right. It doesn't matter. The only other advice I would give you is: be yourself, but do learn not to ask for permission when going for the kiss. Use subtle body language during your date (touching her innocently and affectionately in "safe" places), and then be confident and go for the kiss. If she hasn't responded standoffishly to the other touching, she's likely comfortable with you and okay for the kiss. Do it at the right moment; don't do it perfunctorily. 'Tisthetruth is right; I am older (not a parent) and so it's hard for me to remember what it was like to kiss when I was shy about it, but one thing I can tell you from experience is that if you are willing to risk some rejection (which is usually delivered very nicely, especially if you've been touchy-feely and primed the situation) is that women are persuaded by confidence. If you ask them do you want a kiss, the answer is a lot more likely to be no than if you just steal the kiss. Actions speak better than words, in this case.</p>

<p>The other thing: you don't have to call a date a date for it to be a date, of course. What makes it a date is how you both relate -- and whether you get that kiss.</p>

<p>It sounds like she really likes you. </p>

<p>Oh, and who cares about what I asked about where she was going to school? I can't even remember why I brought this up. I dated a doctor who went to Harvard, a famous lawyer who was a Rhodes Scholar, and also several women who dropped out of high school or college. With the right ones, the intellectual challenge for normal activities can be as fun across all these categories. And the fun factor is likely to be just as great in any category as well.</p>

<p>'Tisthetruth: if you ARE going to bust my b's; make it good so at least I am entertained. It may be a funny way for me to pass my boredom, but the 40 or so messages I gathered in my inbox asking me for advice suggest that I may have helped one or two folks get further down their preferred roads faster. I may be a bored procrastinator, but believe me, I have a rich life. I just thought it was fun to pass on perspective. I don't really know why you care. Do you think I am corrupting the gentle lambs of CC or something?</p>

<p>Yea, i'm still here. So we recently just made out for like 45 minutes in the backseat of my car, lol. We felt eachother up too. We both enjoyed it. And we just went to a water park with a bunch of her friends today. Then we worked together.</p>

<p>I hope she doesn't figure out that you're talking about all the stuff you do on some online website. That would totally freak her out.</p>

<p>Yeah...you're starting to sound like a creep. </p>

<p>Keep your private stuff private...but if you MUST tell for some reason, at least make an effort to be vague about it. I certainly don't go around telling people that much of my business...it's just wrong.</p>

<p>haha, car, eh? claasssy....</p>

<p>This story is so predictable.</p>

<p>She won't find out, and i'll be more vague about everything.</p>

<p>something about this story just makes me laugh. i agree though. you got the girl so just continue to do u and u should be good. no need to get into details about private stuff.</p>

<p>Bang her and then dump her by sending her a brief text message. This is your only recompense for her making you the rebound guy.</p>

<p>
[quote]
Yea, i'm still here. So we recently just made out for like 45 minutes in the backseat of my car, lol. We felt eachother up too. We both enjoyed it. And we just went to a water park with a bunch of her friends today. Then we worked together.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Well, you certainly needed none of the advice I gave. </p>

<p>If I have one other piece of advice for you, it would be to take this thing as far as you can for as long as you can this summer, but to not make commitments to one another when you leave for college. The reasons are as follows: 1) A commitment simply won't last, statistically speaking it just won't, but you'll be less likely to open yourself up to possibilities in college if you imagine you have a girlfriend at home. 2) If you don't make a commitment, but keep it fun and affectionate and physical the way it is, you are ironically more likely to experience both that and/or a better friendship in the future, IMO. Wind it up as lovers, not as girlfriend/boyfriend. You don't have to break up with someone if you aren't together with them like that in the first place, and that's better all the way around.</p>

<p>I hope that helps. Maybe it just seems useless. But good luck and have a great summer.</p>

<p>It sounds like you're gonna have a great summer.;)</p>

<p>Wow. I guess I was the rebound guy. We had a great time yesterday, but I think she just realized that she needs some time and space. I just talked to her, and she told me that she just got out of a 2 year relationship, and that she wasn't ready to date anyone yet, and that she was sorry if she hurt my feelings. I'm taking it a lot better than I thought I would. We're still friends and everything, which is nice, but I guess I was wrong and you guys were right.</p>

<p>Akajjred: Yeah, we called it, but none of us are happy to be proven right. The point some of us made, though, is it shouldn't matter to you. That you should enjoy it for the summer and then just move on when you go to college.</p>

<p>So, why don't you see if you can low-key it with her? Just try to have a good time. See if you can be the rebound guy who has a lot of fun and shows her a good time. That is, if you want to. The thing is you gotta keep away from conversations about you as a couple and keep it light and fun and if she talks about "hurting" you, laugh it off and say, "what are you talking about? I am going away at the end of summer. Let's enjoy today for today." But that is only if you feel that this is what you want.</p>