<p>is named....</p>
<p>is it me or is there an influx of really gay threads around here lately?</p>
<p>uhh, no offense. </p>
<p>wait, why would i post this if im not trying to offend? forget it, im confused</p>
<p>I agree, don't post anything....it'll bump it up.</p>
<p>i don't want anyone to know that i'm making these gay threads.</p>
<p>Jedi College. This might look familiar to some CC old timers. If I remember correctly from my post a year or so ago, one of the mods wrote that the "farce was with it" or something along those lines. Haha, I couldn't find the old post, but I still remember.</p>
<p>A cheese-greater to the eyes and hillarity, enjoy:</p>
<p>There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.
This is what you learn at the Jedi college.
Live your life like a Jedi Knight.
Always keep the goal in sight.
When you talk, talk the right way.
The power of the word is in what you say.
If your thoughts are filled with love and light.
I guarantee a very peaceful night.
Whatever you do, do the true thing.
Bless everyone and bless everything.</p>
<p>May the Force be with you, we always say.
To be kind to all is our way.
To protect the Republic is our utmost job.
From evil ones that would kill and rob.
Be mindful of the living Force.
When others are hurt show some remorse.
You must always follow the Jedi code.
If you dont youll face a rocky road.
Be mindful for evil looms.
Whatever it touches it consumes.</p>
<p>The lightsaber is the weapon most sacred.
The tool by which Jedi battle hatred.
A lightsaber is more lethal than a blaster.
To prevail in battle its a tool you must master.
Red, green, and blue are so much duller.
Than a variety of sabers that are multicolor.
Never lower you defenses and let out a laugh.
Or youll end up like Maul and be cut in half.
Throughout all the wars and strife.
This Jedi weapon is your life.</p>
<p>The Trade Federation made a deal that was hideous.
They agreed to work for the Sith Darth Sidious.
In return for working for the Dark Lord.
They were promised a substantial reward.
Little did they know they were only a pawn.
If they really knew they might have withdrawn.
Their motivation for this alliance was their insatiable greed.
To get more money they would do any evil deed.
Sidious wanted them to blockade the small planet Naboo.
With their trade routes he wanted to screw.</p>
<p>The Federation was stopping Naboos trade.
We thought the Jedi intervening would make them afraid.
But their response it didnt thrill us.
They locked the doors and tried to kill us.
We escaped from that gas.
And met Jar Jar and Boss Nass.
We took a bongo from the scene.
And we went to Theed to see the Queen.
We left the small planet and to Tatooine we flew.
We were saved by the droid R2.</p>
<p>We parked in the outskirts of Tatooine.
The inhabitants of Mos Espa were rotten and mean.
Jar Jar Binks stepped in Bantha poo.
After that he said, Icky, icky goo!
We had to go to Watto's to get the parts we needed, of course.
There was a boy there who was strong in the Force.
Oh my, my this here Anakin guy.
Maybe Vader someday later now he's just a small fry.
He left his home and kissed his mommy goodbye.
Saying soon I'm gonna be a Jedi.</p>
<p>Did you know that this junkyard slave.
Isn't even old enough to shave.
Do you see him hitting on the Queen?
Though hes just nine and shes fourteen.
Well I know he built C-3PO.
And I've heard how fast his pod can go.
We were broke it's true.
So we made a wager or two.
The minute Jabba started off that race.
I knew he would win first place.</p>
<p>Now we finally got to Coruscant.
To see the boy the Council would want.
So we took him there and we told the tale.
How his midichlorians were off the scale.
The Council was impressed, of course.
Could he bring balance to the Force?
They interviewed the kid.
Oh training they forbid.
Because Yoda sensed in him much fear.
And Qui-Gon said, Stick it in your pointy ear!</p>
<p>We caught a ride back to Naboo.
Cause Queen Amidala wanted to.
In the end some Gungans died.
Some ships blew up and some pilots fried.
A lot of folks were croakin'.
The battle droids were broken.
The Jedi fought with Darth Maul and now he's toast.
I'm still here but Qui-Gon's a ghost.
I guess I'll train this little lad.
Whatever happens good or bad.</p>
<p>Darth Maul was a bitter and mean old chap.
Who was quick as lightening and wouldn't take no crap.
He craved revenge on the Jedi at last.
For what they had done to the Sith in the past.
As you see he had quite a tude.
So he killed Qui-Gon which was incredibly rude.
Darth Maul is a scoundrel and a rotten cheat.
His force push knocked me off my feet.
For his overconfidence he paid a price.
He was defeated by a lightsaber slice.</p>
<p>Count Dooku left the order after Qui-Gon's demise.
He formed the Confederacy of Independent Systems, which was a surprise.
To secede from the Republic is the Rebels decision.
It will only bring about war and division.
This civil war will be long and bloody.
Brother verses brother and buddy verses buddy.
The Sith are behind the trouble, I fear.
They want revenge on the Jedi, it's clear.
It depends on whose corner the Chosen One is in.
This is the factor that will determine who will win.</p>
<p>The Chosen One you are, certain this be.
You would accept this if only you could see.
Your destiny is to bring balance to the Force.
Obstacles in your path you will meet of course.
Serve and protect the galaxy you must.
If you don't the Old Republic will bust.
Trusting your feelings is the key.
To the path that will lead you to your destiny.
In the time of greatest despair.
You shall balance the Force for people everywhere.</p>
<p>Under the tongue root a fight most dread.
And another raging, behind, in the head.
Only twenty Jedi have left the order.
And you are a Jedi on the border.
Jedi can't marry and Jedi can't date.
Follow these rules to participate.
Your love for Padme is busting at the seams.
But you must follow your destiny and not your dreams.
Your relationship with the Council you must mend.
So your affair with Senator Padme must come to an end.</p>
<p>From a certain point of view we all see.
Your focus will determine your reality.
If you become a hero don't be boastful or proud.
You can't judge your worth by the cheer of the crowd.
Don't give in to power and corruption.
The easy path leads to pain and destruction.
If you were to turn you would betray us all.
It would cause the Old Republic to fall.
The galaxy the Force does bind.
Without it, it would come apart you would find.</p>
<p>On Kamino, Kenobi got shot at by Jango Fett.
The bounty hunter he had just met.
Obi-Wan chased Fett to his ship.
Both men fought and did many a flip.
Kenobi lost his lightsaber and got wrapped in a cable.
To escape from Jango, Kenobi was unable.
Fett crashed and fell off the landing pad.
Jango climbed up and Boba Fett was glad.
Obi-Wan put a tracking device on the Slave I.
After all the Kung Fu fighting was done.</p>
<p>Anakin was searching for his mother.
So he asked Owen, his step brother.
He said she's in the Tusken Raider camp.
Inside the caves where it's wet and damp.
Anakin took Owen's speeder and off he flew.
He had a bad feeling and that's all he knew.
By the time he got there Shmi was about to die.
Anakin buried her and started to cry.
His fear of losing his mother had just come true.
His fear turned to anger and the Darkside in him grew.</p>
<p>You should really begin to rethink your life.
If you sell death sticks and illegal spice.
Obey your thirst and drink some sprite.
Just before a duel or just before a fight.
Adventure and excitement a Jedi craves not.
Resist the carnal pleasures of crack and pot.
Danger you should never seek.
By riding on an angry Reek.
Fight the urge to dance and sing.
For balance to the Force, you must bring.</p>
<p>Star Wars fans are upset about the cameo of NSync.
People feel this has marked Star Wars with indelible ink.
Many people believe their band does stink.
Everyone knows they just lip sync.
Many feel Hayden Christenson is the bands missing link.
Theyd rather see the song Lady Amidala in mink.
Sung by Christina, Mya, Lil Kim and Pink.
Petitions are being signed to make Lucas rethink.
A two second long cameo you could miss if you blink.
Jerk fanboys you are is what I think.</p>
<p>Episode 2 is named Attack of the Clones.
For the fickle fans it's caused whines and moans.
Causing a commotion and signing many a petition.
To ruin Star Wars for others is their mission.
Shallow they are certain this be.
Swayed by the cynical majority.
Always searching for flubs and flaws.
But what they see will drop their jaws.
We'll all be surprised by George and his crew.
When the film is released in 2002.</p>
<p>The Force is used for knowledge and defense.
It should never be used at another's expense.
Fear leads to anger and anger leads to hate.
You better get out before it's too late.
Do not mess with the Darkside.
To save your friends or to save you hide.
You must not lie or deceive.
Or you will make the entire galaxy grieve.
Listen to me and take this advice.
The power of the Darkside comes at a price.</p>
<p>You've decided to accept the Darkside cancer.
I have to ask: Is that your final answer?
You're the Chosen One and you think your fly.
But you are the weakest link, good bye.
Your escape I will not allow.
This madness ends here and now.
You've betrayed the Jedi and me as well.
Prepare yourself your going to hell.
You are guilty as sin and the court is adjourned.
In the molten pit you will be burned.</p>
<p>To Tatooine I took baby Luke.
When I gave him to Owen he gave a rebuke.
Anakin turned to the Darkside, I tried to explain.
But he only looked at me with more disdain.
He said the Jedi and I had caused all of the mess.
I feel the same way, I must confess.
My influence on Luke was his concern.
He told me to leave and never return.
Until Luke is grown I'll have to cope.
In the Judland wastes I'll wait for the new hope.</p>
<p>Stay tuned for part II.</p>
<p>And here's the rest. Apparently I can only do 10,000 words at a time per post.</p>
<p>Owen wanted to keep Luke from his father's vices.
So he told Luke his father navigated a ship that sold spices.
Owen would try to stop him from racing by any means.
But he could not sway Luke because it's in his genes.
Luke, like his father, had the need for speed.
An adrenaline rush was his need.
Luke challenged Fixer in a skyhopper race.
In Beggar's Canyon Luke won first place.
When his Uncle Owen found out what he had done.
He was grounded for a season, which was no fun.</p>
<p>Get into the escape pod C-3PO was told by R2.
To the sand of Tatooine they both flew.
R2 went left and 3PO went right.
Little did they know theyd share the same plight.
Each droid was captured by Jawas that day.
To sell droids were their intention to make their pay.
Up to the Lars homestead the sandcrawler creeped.
The droids were led out as they all buzzed and beeped.
Owen picked 3PO and good old R2.
When the red astromech's motivator blew.</p>
<p>The Death Star can destroy an entire planet.
So Luke got its plans and decided to can it.
A really bad day Luke Skywalker is havin'.
He's on a suicide mission to protect the moon of Yavin.
Wedge's ship was damaged and he has fled.
Biggs, at the hands of Vader, is dead.
Luke use the Force and let go.
Through your body let it flow.
Now is the time to get in Jedi mode.
Just shoot the torpedoes and let it explode.</p>
<p>The awards ceremony took place in the throne room.
Luke, Han and Chewie helped to make the Death Star go boom.
3PO and R2 looked on with joy.
At the Wookie, the smuggler and the Force strong boy.
Princess Leia gave the awards to Luke and Han.
On both the heroes she put them on.
Chewbacca will get a medal in the Final Edition.
At long last he will get his deserved recognition.
They lived happily ever after until The Empire Strikes Back.
When the Rebels on Hoth, the clones would attack.</p>
<p>Darth Vader sent out probes throughout the galaxys void.
If one landed on a planet it would turn into a droid.
Their mission was to find any sign of the Rebel Alliance.
They were programmed to report if they spotted a shield generator appliance.
Vader, in addition, wanted to find his long lost lad.
In some twisted way he wanted to be a dad.
One of the probes crashed on the planet Hoth, an icy place.
Luke and Han were patrolling the base.
Luke decided to check out an asteroid, which made a great sound.
He told Han after that hed return to the base under the ground.</p>
<p>Luke went to see what was the matter.
The wampa slashed Luke's face and his blood did splatter.
The tauntaun the wampa was peeling.
While Luke's feet were frozen and he was hanging from the ceiling.
Luke saw his lightsaber just out of reach.
He did something amazing that I did not teach.
He used the Force to call it to his hand.
He freed himself from the ice and on his head he did land.
The wampa charged at Luke to cause his body harm.
To stop him Luke had to cut off his arm.</p>
<p>Out of the ice cave Luke Skywalker ran.
To survive the bitter cold he had no plan.
The snow made his visibility nil.
He was overcome with an incredible chill.
He started to lose hope and collapsed in the snow.
He was in deep trouble and thats all he did know.
I appeared to Luke to tell him of the last Jedi master.
So that he could battle evil with more than a blaster.
Go to Dagobah and meet the Jedi named Yoda I said.
As the cold was making his face was turn red.</p>
<p>It was getting late and Luke had not returned.
Han Solo was starting to get concerned.
He decided to look for Luke, risking his own life.
They became good friend throughout all the war and strife.
Hans tauntaun died just as he found his friend.
If he had found him any later Luke would have met his end.
To protect Luke from the deadly ice storm.
He cut open his dead tauntaun for Luke to keep warm.
Han then built an igloo shelter in the snow.
To protect them from the cold winds that all night would blow.</p>
<p>The Imperial Walkers were advancing toward the base.
One was destroyed by Wedge the flying ace.
Luke got shot down and crashed on the ground.
Before he got out a grenade he found.
He used a grappling cable to reach the Walkers belly.
The explosive he threw in shook it like a bowl full of jelly.
One of the Walkers was instructed by Vader.
To destroy the Rebel's shield generator.
When it was destroyed the good guys had to retreat.
It looked like this time the Rebellion was beat.</p>
<p>Luke traveled to Dagobah on my request.
In training Jedi Yoda was best.
When Luke's scopes malfunctioned and his X-Wing crashed.
Into the Dagobah swamp the spacecraft splashed.
Luke got out and swam to the shore.
R2 tried also to swim in the moor.
The sneaky swamp monster grabbed R2.
The droid wasn't that tasty and out he flew.
Luke rushed to R2 to see if he was still intact.
After a monster had eaten him, he wasn't even cracked.</p>
<p>Luke looked around and found a little green troll.
He took Luke to his little rock hole.
The small man cooked stew which had a great smell.
"For the Jedi it is time to eat as well."
Luke realized he had met Yoda the Jedi Master.
Yoda felt training him would be a disaster
"You are reckless!" Yoda told Luke.
"So was I if you remember." I said in rebuke.
"I'm not afraid!" Luke started to plea.
And Yoda said, "You will be!"</p>
<p>Luke trained with Yoda for several days.
Learning about the mysterious Jedi ways.
He said, "Luke stay away from the darkerside..."
"...And if you start to go astray let the Force be your guide."
From the swamp Luke tried to raise his X-Wing fighter.
He said he could do it if only it were lighter.
Yoda showed his power by lifting Luke's ship.
The sight of which made the farmboy flip.
Luke went into the darkside place.
He cut off Vaders head and saw his own face.</p>
<p>Luke went into the carbon freeze facility.
It's here Darth Vader would test Luke's ability.
Vader fought his son with Darkside fury.
Throwing objects and making Luke's vision blurry.
Submission is what Vader did demand.
To get it he cut off Luke's right hand.
He said, "Obi-Wan Kenobi did not bother."
"To tell you that I am your father!"
Luke cried out, "That cannot be true!"
He freaked out and off the ledge he flew.</p>
<p>Luke was hanging from the bottom of Cloud City.
As he was hanging he was overcome with self-pity.
Darth Vader was his father and he had lost his hand.
If he were to fall he would go splat on Bespins land.
Out of instinct he reached out with the Force for assistance.
His distress call was heard by his sister Leia from a distance.
She demanded that Lando turn around the ship.
Back to Cloud City the Millennium Falcon did zip.
Luke spotted the ship hovering just under his feet.
He jumped in the ship and just avoided the pursuing Ties heat.</p>
<p>Vader and Luke fought with lightsabers clashing.
Luke would parry while Darth Vader was slashing.
Luke could feel the conflict within his dad.
The conflict between the goodside and bad.
"If you will not turn than perhaps she will."
Vader talking about Luke's sister made him lose his chill.
Luke screamed out in rage and chopped off Vader's hand.
Now he finally did understand.
He said, "You've failed your highness" as Sidious looked on with glee.
"I am a Jedi. Like my father before me."</p>
<p>Darth Sidious said, "So be it, Jedi."
Prepare thyself for you're going die.
He shot out lightening using Darkside power.
In the intense heat Luke could only cower.
As Anakin watched his son writhe in pain.
The Darth Vader within him finally was slain.
He grabbed Darth Sidious and lifted him up in the air.
The lightening zapping Anakin caused a bright glare.
Anakin brought balance to the Force at last.
When he ditched Darth Sidious down the Death Star shaft.
Jedi College.</p>
<p>Haha, I found it! I always find what I'm looking for after I say I couldn't find it. Blast.</p>
<p><a href="http://www.collegeconfidential.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?5/40905%5B/url%5D">http://www.collegeconfidential.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?5/40905</a>
<a href="http://www.collegeconfidential.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?69/17054%5B/url%5D">http://www.collegeconfidential.com/cgi-bin/discus/show.cgi?69/17054</a></p>
<p>make it into a song and we'll listen. this is too long.</p>
<p>I can't sing that well.</p>