I’m starting college in a few days and I went to welcome weekend/orientation and am already having a hard time making friends. This is giving me a lot of anxiety and I want to try to not be an introvert and have fun. Any tips for making friends as commuter would be helpful.
It’s only been a weekend so no need to stress. Try to talk to people when you start classes. Join clubs that you’re interested in (said clubs also tend to be a lot less cliquey than they are in HS).
Hold your head up high. You’ll be fine.
For Commuters: .
-
During Orientation, go to as many activities as you can. Talk to people and for those you like, ask them what activities they are going to tomorrow/or are they going to the ABC activity.
-
Go to the Activities/Club Fair and sign up for a bunch of clubs that are of interest. They may not all pan out, but don’t eliminate anything yet. If you are into music/D&D/running/church/whatever, you can find other people who are interested too. Service clubs are great because you spend time working together.
-
Join the Commuters Club. Go to the Commuter Lounge and talk to people.
-
At lunch time, ask people in your next to lunch time class if they are grabbing some lunch.
-
Adopt a dorm. Maybe some of your friends live in a particular dorm. Hang out with them some nights.
-
Join an intramural team. Sometimes you can just sign up as a single.
-
Talk to others in your classes…exchange numbers so that if either of you miss you can exchange notes… Ask what someone got on a homework question (that you did too)…once you get to know them, ask if they want to form a study group.
-
If this isn’t working, go to the Counseling Center…they are ready to help freshman this time of year. Don’t think you are a loser because you have to go…this is something you pay for! Get the benefit! You may need to learn some new social skills. They may also have group talks on Homesickness or fitting in.
-
Go to ongoing campus activities…concerts/movies/lectures/sporting events/parties. Invite someone/group of people or just sign up and meet people for activities that might be off campus.
-
Get an on campus job. This will give you something to do during the day in between classes so you are on campus more. It will also help you get engaged into the campus.
You may notice that all of these things take some action…they are not passive. You have to take initiative. But the risk is small…if someone says no, then just say “Maybe another time”.
thanks for the tips! I was just feeling nervous and needed some encouragement
Is your school primarily residential or is it a commuter school?
primarily residential, also going to a community service thing for the school today hoping to make friends there
You are a student at your school, just like the other students, except you go home at the end of the day and sleep in your own bed while some of the other students share a room with a roommate and possibly a bathroom with the whole floor.
What you make of your college life is up to you. Join clubs and participate in activities you enjoy.
You are probably saving a lot of money by commuting as well.
As a fellow introvert, read “How to Talk to Anyone” by Leil Lowndes.
It is a gem of a book with tips on how to start conversations and keep them going. Just pick two or three tips and work it from there. Great for social and business functions–great way to meet people.
I went to a community service thing for the school today and made a friend or two, but still felt a little anxious, but hey at least I made some progress, I’m probably going to check out that book too thanks gouf78
Honestly, during orientation I made about 95% of the friends I now have. My orientation was a week ago and we had a specific transfer student schedule so we interacted with others like us. Now, even though I don’t see everyone every day, when I do see a friend it is like a continuation of orientation. Through those friends I made other new friends, it is like a chain. Also, during lunch and in the afternoons I spend time in areas that are usually busy like the library or this common game room we have. This way I can meet new people every day and socialize with my current friends.
Just remember that everyone is in the same boat even with people who had friends already before school started. Join clubs, go to events and don’t be afraid to try new things and places. Join a group you can hang with, for example I have our transfer group and the honors group.
Tomorrow, we have a game/pizza night at the game common room and I don’t know anyone who will be attending. However, I know events like these will bring me to meet people with the same interests and every single person is a chance to meet a new friend. And because I know I will enjoy it, otherwise I wouldn’t go!, I know that already that is a good way to interact with others and become friends.
Don’t be afraid of rejection. Everyone is scared/uneasy in college