<p>If you're friendly and engaging, and also join the organizations you mentioned above, you'll make plenty of friends over time. Relax, take your time, and let things work out.</p>
<p>There's an old saying that goes something like "if you want to have (or find) a friend, then be a friend to others". That advice is usually very effective.</p>
<p>I suggest you try it and see if it doesn't work for you.</p>
<p>awww, college, listen you'll be fine. and if not, I'll be your friend. :) no worries. when you go to the clubs, seem approachable, (smile!) and talk to the people there. And you could always say that you're shy but once you get to know people, you become more open. My friend used to introduce herself that way because then people didn't misunderstand her silence for something else. And because she said she was shy, people would try to talk to her more since they knew she was shy.</p>
<p>db,</p>
<p>Your friend was as "sly" as she was "shy", letting her silence do the talking. :D</p>
<p>What a great approach for introverted folks to use in a group setting.</p>
<p>any meetings today?</p>
<p>HHD, she learned from the best. ;) I used to be really quiet until middle school and then I thought I needed a change because I was starting to get really lonely. For a few months, I would say that when meeting new people. After that, I became comfortable with introducing myself and starting a conversation with someone completely random lol. It's a good technique, I think, because then you can find what you're comfortable with and what you aren't.</p>
<p>still no friends. going to circle k meeting tonight.</p>
<p>everyone seems to be in their circles by now. too late for me. maybe next year.</p>
<p>No, no, no--it's not too late by any means!! Go easy on yourself. I didn't really feel like I had a true friend until after Thanksgiving break. I had a some acquaintances, but "friend", no, not until after TG.
I don't even hang with those acquaintances from last year, not that there is anything wrong with them; they were just sort of superficial chatter, as was I to them. But the true friends came later in the semester, and they are near and dear to me. Hang in there.</p>
<p>college, making friends takes time. It doesn't happen within an instant. So going to one meeting and not making any friends there isn't a failure. In fact, it's pretty normal. Don't give up!!</p>
<p>And I'm also going to play the other side here and give you some tough love. The biggest thing, college, is that you need to change your attitude. </p>
<p>
[quote]
everyone seems to be in their circles by now. too late for me. maybe next year.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>If you keep thinking this hon, you are not going to have any friends. Period. Because when you close yourself off from everyone else, people are apprehensive to talk to you. By closing yourself off, you limit the HUGE number of opportunities you have right now. And by closing yourself off, you put yourself in the position for some serious emotional trouble, which leads us to a whole new can of worms. And this one, is the one I'm most concerned about.</p>
<p>So college, I've given you all the advice that I can think of right now. And I was sympathetic. But now, because I am concerned with you, my sympathy flew the coop. I'm going to be your tough as nails CC momma. Your CC family here will celebrate your successes with you and they'll be the lucky chair you grab when you stumble. We'll be the walking stick that helps you up the mountain. But, we will NOT be a crutch for self pity/loathing/depression. </p>
<p>The things you want most desperately in life are the things you work hardest for; they're the things you cherish the most. They don't come easily and they certainly don't fall into your lap. So don't give up just yet. And if you're not willing to work at the relationship (because in essence, a friendship is a relationship) then maybe it won't work out. With great risk, comes great reward. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't. Remember that when you meet people. One failed relationship doesn't mean you stop looking.</p>
<p>So again, good luck! go out there and keep meeting people. and keep a smile on your face. and remember we're rooting for you.</p>
<p>well said DB.</p>
<p>collegehopeful, i still see plenty of people eating alone in newcomb during lunch and dinner. You can easily pull up a chair next to someone that looks as if they share a same interest and then miracles will happen. no one is going to say no except yourself if you dont take initiative</p>
<p>I agree. I made friends last year (sort of a first year in social senses) and the people I hung out with the majority in the beginning became distant in my life. The people in end of first/second semester became my friends that stayed true to me, including my current roommates. Now, my roommates this year are truly my greatest friends here, simply because we can have fun, talk serious, and live together. It just takes awhile to find those kind of friends.</p>
<p>Keep going. Don't try, just let it happen. It will :)</p>
<p>And it'll only happen if you get out and change your attitude!</p>
<p>It also helps if you have people in the same three classes (e.g. for me it was BIOL 317, Chem 181, FREN 334) and the same lab. I'm not sure how often this happens on average though.</p>
<p>What a timely thread! </p>
<p>I'm emailing this to my son, who just started boarding school at age 14. </p>
<p>He has this exact problem, and poster, thanks so much for posting this question! </p>
<p>I love the responses, I've been telling him similar advice, and maybe now he'll listen to his mother! (He likes his roommate and has been just socializing with the roommate because it's easier. He also bemoans that 'it is too late, everyone is in their cliques now'. </p>
<p>I remind him that he's a great person and people would love his input in their conversations.</p>
<p>Thanks again, poster!</p>
<p>How about a part-time job on campus where you meet lots of people? One of my shy friends got a job at the check-in counter at the gym...and said a friendly hello to every single person who came in.
I agree that trying lots of different clubs is the right approach for now...you never know what might interest you in college that you didn't have a chance to try in high school.
Also, make sure that you are getting out of your room. New friends are not going to knock on your door...you need to study in a public place, work out, and eat in public, even if you are by yourself and reading the paper at the time.</p>
<p>To give you a boost of hope, I was leaving an EE class today, and I've taken 3-4 classes a semester with this same group of guys, but for some reason we decided to study together tonight, and so my friend and I met up with him and found a whole new realm of people and now we've decided to hang out this weekend. I'm in my third year and are still making friends. And friends are hard to come by in EE....especially as a girl</p>