Mark my SAT practice essay please?

College Essays
1

<p>Hi, </p>

<p>I wrote a practice SAT essay, and I was wondering if someone could help rate it for me (from 1-6). Thanks!</p>

<p>Topic: Is there always another explanation or another point of view? </p>

<p>Essay:
In this world, every single thing will show there is always a "however." Simply take mankind's evolution from primitive to a highly advanced race; something that has changed all of our lives so drastically. </p>

<p>There once was a time, when humans led primitive lives. They would rely on their resources in their surrondings and try to make the most of it. Everything was used, from plants to animals, teeth to dung. It was important to respect every living organism killed. The environment was protected and respected. </p>

<p>Then, men slowly started to evolve. They grew technologically advanced. Now, cars have been invented, machines were used in place of human labor, and electricity was provided to power our new creations. Everything slowly changed our lives, from hard, tiring and risky, to one of comfort and relaxation. </p>

<p>However, not everything may be for the better. What is a major problem in our modern world today? Global warming, an isssue that is growing every second. On the news, in our classrooms, we are constantly reminded and encouraged to attempt to stop global warming. Now ask yourself- what causes global warming? Greenhouse gases- the very gases that are emited every day by our new inventions. Yes, we have obliviously cause ourselves a major problem. </p>

<p>Why, if there had been no evolution, it is clear there would be no environmental crisis- humans were much too careful in the past about their approaches towards Mother Nature. But in an effort to benefit themselves, men have changed. Many would agree if was for the better. Still, there are evident downsides. As true as it is that we have solved many hardships, in the meantime, we have also created other crisises, ones that are much more drastic in comparison. Was all this change 100% for the better? No.</p>

<p>It becomes clear to one pondering, that in each and every scenario, there is always a "however," another point of view. Neither one is "right," and neither one is "wrong." Only put together will they make a whole.</p>

2

<p>I would give it a 4/6, sorry.</p>

3

<p>I’ve forgotten how the SAT rubric works, but I do have a few suggestions for you.</p>

<p>1) I’m not sure what question you’re attempting to answer when I read the essay.</p>

<p>2) You should write SAT essays in this format:</p>

<p>INTRO that clearly explains the question you are attempting to answer. Don’t be afraid to use some of the same words that were in the original question.</p>

<p>THESIS at the end of your first paragraph that clearly shows your stance on the issue. Your thesis should also introduce ARGUMENT A, ARGUMENT B, and ARGUMENT C.</p>

<p>Next, write three ARGUMENTS, one for each paragraph. (In case you are unclear, arguments are specific examples of why you are right. In your current essay, you only provided one argument.) Paragraphs should be about nine sentences but can be longer.</p>

<p>Write a brief CONCLUSION that briefly reiterates your points.</p>

<p>Tip: in general, the longer your essays, the better your score.</p>

<p>3) I wouldn’t mention evolution in any SAT essay. If your reader is religious, this could be taken offensively. Don’t write about heated political issues either.</p>

<p>Hope this helps. Sorry if my points are unclear. I’m in a bit of a hurry now.</p>