The reality of your situation is that most schools are going to see that 90k parental income and expect your family to contribute. If parents have other assets (bank account, CDs, real estate, a business, stocks, home ownership for CSS schools, etc.) they will expect more. You will likely pay close to full price at a place like UMass Amherst, well over budget.
Tuition & housing are ridiculously more expensive than it was when your mom went to school, while wages have not increased at the same rate. Would they possibly be willing to pay toward school the amount they were paying for your food/activities/clothing/etc. during high school?
Although it seems to be a touchy subject for them, your parents are doing you no favors by dancing around the money topic. You need information from tax returns and ALL balances from bank accounts/stocks/CDs/savings/etc. to be able to fill out each college net price calculator correctly.
Once you have the info needed to run NPCs, you can run them for your favorite schools and see what you come up with (each place calculates need differently).
Your best bets financially are going to be places with generous need based financial aid, but most of these schools are reach schools for everyone, due to way more great kids applying than they could ever accommodate. Brandeis is a school that falls in this category.
Your stats and EC are good, and you will likely see some merit, but 20k at a place that charges 80k, for example, is a long way off from what you need, and full ride merit scholarships generally number in the handful range.
A safety option would be to live at home while working full time (saving as much as possible for jr/sr year) while completing an associate’s degree, then transferring. If your state has an articulation agreement between community colleges and in-state publics, that would probably be your best shot at getting through your degree in 4 years with this approach.
TLDR: Run NPCs for potential schools*, if the numbers work**, apply to as many as makes sense to you. Apply for full-ride merit scholarships if your research shows you would be a strong contender, or as a Hail Mary at a couple of places. Research full time work/community college/jr transfer as a back up plan.
*accurate numbers for this are crucial
**Federal loan of $5500 + net job earnings, so <10K maybe?