Math jokes

Colleges and Universities A-Z Massachusetts Institute of Technology
21

<p>I understood all of them except the Rhombus, the fishing joke, and the bike one. :(</p>

22

<p>This isn’t a math joke, but I like to think it’s a good joke about mathematicians.</p>

<p>An engineer, a scientist, and a mathematician are staying in the same hotel for a conference. In the middle of the night a fire breaks out.</p>

<p>The engineer wakes up and sees the fire. She runs around the room looking for some way to put it out. She sees the metal trash can and the shower in the bathroom. She fills the can with water and tosses it on the fire until it goes out, then goes back to sleep.</p>

<p>The scientist wakes up, sees the fire, sees the trash can and the shower, and starts calculating carefully. He figures out the amount of water needed to put out the fire most efficiently without any waste and does so, then goes back to sleep.</p>

<p>The mathematician wakes up and sees the fire. He sees the trash can and the shower, declares, “Aha! This problem CAN be solved!” and goes back to sleep.</p>

23

<p>I wish I were a derrivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.</p>

<p>Edit: I remembered another one. </p>

<p>A biology major, a chemistry major, and a physics major are sitting in a coffee shop across the street from an office. They see two people enter and three people exit the building. The biology major states that they must have reproduced. The chemistry major believes there was a mistake in measurement. finally that math major says, “if one more person enters the building, there will be no people inside it.”</p>

24

<p>Mangaartist: “120° fancies 45°. He attempts to compliment her. “You know, you’re such a cute angle!””</p>

<p>Took me a while to get that one. My initial thought was “120+45 != 90.” (Complementary angles add up to 90.)</p>

<p>@187</p>

<p>Rhom…bus</p>

<p>Oops. Copy and pasted wrong equation.
Corrected equations:
x(t) = a (cos(t)-(sin^2(t))/sqrt(2))
y(t) = a cos(t) sin(t)
[fish</a> curve - Wolfram|Alpha](<a href=“fish curve]fish - Wolfram|Alpha”>fish curve - Wolfram|Alpha)</p>

<p>The bike one is a work in progress. I had an idea with pedal curves. There should be a better way to phrase it.</p>

<p>@doberhound1
Do physics majors always end up switching to math? (edit your joke.)</p>

25

<p>This is not a math joke, but this is what I think of the chance threads.</p>

<p>Chance me please!!! </p>

<p>Hair: DARK
Height: 6 feet
Weight: 135
Jim Carey fan!</p>

<p>Please:( :(:(:(</p>

26

<p>Bump…</p>

27

<p>Bump…
Bump…</p>

28

<p>Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
To get to the other si-…um…never mind</p>

<p>What do you call a hungry parrot?
A paulie no meal</p>

<p>Holy shift! Look at the asymptote on that mother function!
(^ not mine)</p>

29

<p>I am totally telling that Mobius strip one at lunch in my lab tomorrow.</p>

<p>My lab likes this physics joke:
A: Knock knock.
B: Who’s there?
A: Interrupting coefficient of friction.
B: Interrupting coefficient -
A: Mu!</p>

30

<p>What do you get when you integrate (1/cabin)*(derivative of cabin)?</p>

<p>A NATURAL LOG CABIN!!!</p>

31

<p>It’s actually a houseboat, you forgot the ‘C’!</p>

32

<p>
[quote=Mangaartist Love is like pi: natural, irrational and very important.</p>

<p>Self-made “joke”:.Love is like pi: natural, irrational and very important.</p>

<p>Self-made “joke”:
120° fancies 45°. He attempts to compliment her. “You know, you’re such a cute angle!”
[ /quote]
</p>

<p>^LOL love the angle one. XD</p>

<p>But the first is flawed: pi is not natural; the naturals are the pos. integers ;)</p>

33

<p>^ I fail. (quote crap)</p>

34

<p>I’ll try again. </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>^LOL love the angle one. XD</p>

<p>But the first is flawed: pi is not natural; the naturals are the pos. integers. ;)</p>

35

<p>I think they meant pi is a naturally ocurring ratio.</p>

36

<p>what does the little mermaid wears under her sea shells?
an algebra.</p>

<p>source <a href=“http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjT1HaSc3Yc&feature=related[/url]”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjT1HaSc3Yc&feature=related&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

37

<p>I’m veering away from math here, but one of my favorite TV shows ever was Veronica Mars. One of Veronica’s friends (Mac) is a computer whiz and helps Veronica and her dad out a lot.</p>

<p>Veronica’s Dad: Hey Mac, can you print all the emails from that computer you just hacked?
Mac: Your wish is my shift command!</p>

<p>And then they just stared at her blankly (along with 99% of the viewers, I’m sure) while I split my sides watching TV alone in my bedroom.</p>

38

<p>?I don’t get it.</p>

39

<p>I don’t get it either. It’s MIT students’ humor, I guess…</p>

40

<p>Is it supposed to be a pun of Macbook? Shift + Command = what? I use Windows, sorry. And what is Veronica Mars… Never heard of it. Besides why are you posting here?</p>