Me, Again (Long... Sorry)

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi again Parents!</p>

<p>I recently made a thread regarding my awful (and surprising) financial aid situation at Reed. For a very quick re-cap: I'm going to be a sophomore. Last year Reed cost about 25k with my aid package. This year it cost about 40k. Dad's going to make 50-60k LESS this year but they can't take that into account. </p>

<p>Now, for the update, I'm going back next year anyway. Parents and I are doing everything we can (PLUS loan, emptying my savings account, skimping on everything) to try and make it work. I'm a little irritated because I told the FA office that my dad would be making more money, told them about how much more way back in Febuary and they only said my package would drop a little. Had I known it was going to be this I would have tried to apply for scholarships. Problem is that for any scholarship money I get, my FA package drops... so I have to win MORE than my aid package to make it worthwhile. :/ Its kind of an unwinnable situation. </p>

<p>So, now, I need to try and figure out what to do. While I think we'll be okay this year (I hope anyway... I've been so depressed about this whole stupid situation), I really don't want to put my family through this for my junior and senior years as well. While it seems as though my father's income will drop a lot, and thus my aid package will go up again, I'm really paranoid now. I already feel a bit like I failed my family (I was offered much much better financial offers when I first applied to college... I just didn't like the schools very much and thought that my aid at Reed would hold basically steady) and I really really don't want to have this happen again. Plus, I'm almost certainly looking at Grad school and... well... won't be exactly making much money after college. </p>

<p>My question is: should I consider trying to transfer after this year? </p>

<p>This is a hard question for me to bring up because I really like a lot about Reed. Socially, I'll be honest, it isn't the best fit for me, but I've started to make friends there (I'm as quirky as they come and a moderate liberal, but very straight edge and very NOT into partying and whatnot [hated Renn Fayre, but there were some other circumstances that made it worse]... but I may just not have found my place quite yet... I live in Sub-Free and love it though) Academically, on the other hand, I love the place. I've really gotten to know some of the professors in my department, I'm looking forward to taking classes, and I love the hardcore academic rigor of the place. I love that I have eight million hours of homework a week. I love that I have to constantly stretch myself there. </p>

<p>I worry that I won't be able to make the same connections with professors if I try and transfer. My advisor is one of the most amazing people I've ever met, and it would be hard to leave that. Also, I'm all in line to do a semester in Rome junior year... although, for me, having a financially secure environment is more important than that. Part of me thinks I can probably get a good education elsewhere if I try. I'm also doing "well". I don't really have many ECs but I'm managing a 3.7 on a rather difficult courseload (4.5 credits all Freshman year) at a school known for grade deflation. Of course, I also only have done one year and have no idea what next year will bring. </p>

<p>Anyway... any thoughts would be grately appreciated. Thank you for your time!</p>

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<p>My thoughts:</p>

<p>saying this from a single mom point-of-view, with 5 kiddos, #4 will be starting college in the fall...this would not have been up for discussion in our home. We didn't have 25K for any year or even 4 years, so they all knew up front that putting our family in the hole for their college undergrad, with possible grad school in the future was NOT AN OPTION.</p>

<p>And as the kiddos have said all along, there is no way they would do that to me or their siblings. Fiscal responsibility was a big proirity in our house not to mention the concept of value. Not one of them fell "in love" with ANY school, because honestly they love each other, and me, not places or things. Son's val's speech last week was much about this. His words, "when all is said and done what matters most is family and friends."</p>

<p>So my advice that I would give, and have given to my own children, truly evaluate what the cost is vs. the return. In your case, if it is draining on your family enough to worry you, then it should!</p>

<p>Is deferring for a year, while re-grouping finances an option? Transferring to an in-state alternative, or even the local community college for a semester and then the in-state option? What type of grad school are you thinking of?</p>

<p>Oldest DD, graduating undergrad now, started off at the community college matriculated with a high GPA and scholarship to one of the flagship state uni's with a specific major and will now be doing grad/vet school. She knew she would not being going into private practice but public health which is not high paying. She did not want to graduate with a multitude of loans, so she has NONE. She has worked along the way, research, and scholarships and will graduate debt free. We as a family incurred little to no cost and she would not have done it any other way!</p>

<p>You worrying about the situation and casting about for possible other options reflects growing maturity especially since you are considering your family and not just yourself. Good job. </p>

<p>It's not about a "dream" school for a "dream" job, it's about your family and you.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

<p>Kat</p>

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<p>Dear Kat,</p>

<p>Thank you for your thoughts! That was certainly a thought provoking post and really got me thinking. </p>

<p>You see, 25k was barely managable... but when I got my Reed acceptance both my parents said they wanted me to be able to go there. We incurred no extra debt last year (except my student loan) and dad was confident a cost like that would work again. </p>

<p>I brought up deferring a year but both my parents were against it. They really don't want me to do something like that "for the money" and I have a lot already set up for next year (including a potential research position with a professor who's going on leave the next year) and they really want me back there. My advisor (also the professor I might be able to help with research) was also really rooting for that. :/ Plus, my major (Classics) makes it hard to take classes at a community college since the one nearest to me doesn't offer anything in that field at all. </p>

<p>As for Grad school, I really think that I want to pursue a PhD. So, not the expensive med/law school (I was considering law for a bit... but I'm really an academic at heart). </p>

<p>Its hard because I really do like Reed (even though its left me feeling a bit traumatized right now... but that isn't really Reed's fault I guess) and the academic environment there. For one of the first times in my life, I feel like I'm really learning. And more... I feel like I'm actually challenged. I have friends at some of our local state schools and have attended the nearby CC and have heard/experienced horror stories. I know I can't rely all on hearsay, but a lot of their experiences sound like my high school (bright, motivated kids who aren't as into the academic experience and are more into other forms of success then the idealistic and sometimes silly pursuit of knowledge that I crave... this isn't saying I'm "smarter" then them or "better" then them [in fact, they'll all be making probably 2-3 times what I'm making come 10 years down the road] but... yeah... I guess I don't know where I'm going here). </p>

<p>At the same time, I know I'm being a little silly. :/ There must be other places where I can get a similar education, find a student body who cares, that won't cost my family 40k and offers better aid (maybe merit?) then Reed. Really though, I have no idea how transferring works, particularly the aid component. Although, I have heard that most schools are stingy with transfer aid... nothing like you can get freshman year. </p>

<p>At the beginning of this year I was playing slightly with the idea of transferring. I hadn't yet adjusted to the academic rigor, I was really socially isolated, and I didn't feel quite as much a member of the Reed community as I do now and was quite miserable. I ended up tossing the idea because I realized I was unhappy because of internal problems, not ones changing schools could fix. At the time, I was looking into Brown (way too reachy, I know XP), Earlham, Marlboro, Swathmore (again, way too reachy), Whitman (I was waitlisted as a freshman), and Smith. However, I have a hunch that anything there probably wouldn't be any better aid wise. :/ </p>

<p>Anyway... I guess here goes another random collection of thoughts.</p>

<p>Thank you again for your thoughts, Kat. : )</p>

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<p>Whitney:</p>

<p>Some thoughts.</p>

<p>Since you want to go to grad school for a Ph.D., don't think about costs right now. Many Ph.D. programs give admitted students a financial aid package that will last them through their graduate career. In fact, at Harvard, if you get admitted you get aid. You don't get admitted without aid. Cornell, Yale, are smiliarly generous and Princeton even more so.</p>

<p>So concentrate on the next three years. It is late in the year to be transferring with financial aid, so I'm assuming that you are thinking about the following year, right? Can your parents borrow for next year? Meanwhile, talk again to your finaid officer and find out how things will play out the year after next, assuming that your dad's income drops back down. Maybe, Reed will restore your finaid to levels that are more comfortable for your family.</p>

<p>Although socially speaking, Reed is not your dream fit, academically, you seem to be thriving; it would be a pity to be leaving all this behind. If you do need to transfer, however, apply in the fall, when finaid is still available. Good luck!</p>

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<p>Dear Marite,</p>

<p>Thanks for your thoughts!</p>

<p>Yes, I was thinking about transferring for my junior year, not for next year as that has already pass. I will be talking to the finaid officer in the fall (hopefully when she isn't so busy) to see what I can do. In a perfect world, finaid stuff will work better next year... or I'll be better prepared for it. </p>

<p>You're right in picking up that I really don't want to leave Reed. Now that the freshman adjustment jitters I felt this winter are replaced with a desire to keep growing and changing at Reed... not another school. Even socially I've begun slowly to get more involved in things and have begun to make friends. </p>

<p>But yes, thank you. : )</p>

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<p>Whitney, I think that what you need to do is APPLY to several colleges that will be affordable as a transfer for your junior year, but don't decide whether to transfer until after you see the aid package from Reed. If Reed comes up with good financial aid, you can turn down the other colleges; if not, you will have other options. The deadline for transfer applications and for making decisions is generally later than for first year admissions, so if you get your financial aid documentation in early next year, you should have numbers from Reed before you have to make up your mind about any other college. </p>

<p>At this point, you might consider larger state universities as well -- as a upper-level classics major, you would probably have small, intimate seminar-style classes even at a huge flagship state U, and there are probably a lot of top schools that would love to have a classics major coming from the excellent foundation of Reed's first two years. At larger state universities you may be eligible to take graduate level courses in your junior & senior year as well -- something that most LAC's can't offer to their students. It may even be a blessing in disguise, as state U's simply have more resources and more classes offered overall. That is, you might find that as excellent as Reed is, your developing interests may be better served at a larger university.</p>

<p>Of course you can also consider other LACs -- but the point is that what you really need for next year is a financial safety, so you will definitely want to look at your in-state public options.</p>

<p>I've checked old posts and see that you are a resident of Washington. UW has a strong classics department both at the undergrad & graduate level, so it might be a great place to continue your studies. A university that might have seemed overwhelmingly large and impersonal when you were coming out of high school might be much more within your comfort zone as you start your junior year. So in a sense this might be a blessing in disguise - even though I am suggesting a strategy primarily for financial reasons, you might want to look very closely at what UW or similiar schools have to offer an advanced-level student.</p>

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<p>I think people generally put way too much emphasis on finding the "perfect" college to attend. First, no place is perfect (as you said about the Reed social situation). Second, four years is not a very long time in the scheme of things. I know this year just flew by for both of my kids. Finally, the money does count. How much security and comfort is your family willing to sacrifice, and how much debt are you willing to incur? </p>

<p>In my practical opinion, the "perfect" undergraduate experience is probably non-existant and most folks can thrive and be successful at many colleges. Ten years from now, it won't matter if you stayed at Reed or transferred (except for the loan payments).</p>

<p>Calmom has good advice. Apply to potential colleges as a junior year transfer and see how the financial aid at Reed works out. You have nothing to lose but will be adding valuable options for future choices.</p>