<p>I'm currently a Junior in high school and for about the past 5 years I have been waiting and waiting until I finally graduate from High School and move onto the next part of my life -- College. Well, now...that time is getting nearer and nearer and it seems all me and my parents do is fight everytime that word is even mentioned. They don't want me to leave and think I should stay close (In Georgia or North Florida) for atleast my first year. The reasons they give is that i'm not mature enough, i'm not ready for "real life", and i'm not smart enough to make it in some big city off far away from Georgia. I happen to think all of these are wrong. I'm a very mature and responsible person and I do what I need to do. I begged and pleaded for a job at the age of 14 when all of the other teenagers were off having fun and partying -- Something, which i'm not really into. I don't drink nor do I do drugs. And I absolutly deteste smoking. It drives me INSANE! I think I'm as ready for real life as I will ever be. I'm smart, Hard working, and have the will to actually make something of myself (something that most people in my family don't give a rats ass about even attempting.) And, I don't see how waiting a year will make me any more ready for living in a big city. </p>
<p>So, What am I to do? All the colleges i'm currently interested in are mainly scattered out across the northern part of the country and out Mid-West. There is also a few film/technology colleges down in Australia that have caught my eye. What can I say to my idiotic, self-centered, parents that will make them finally understand that this is MY life and that where I go to college is MY choice. Gr! I'm so FRUSTRATED with them! Any help or advice would be GREATLY appreciated. If you have any more questions or need any more information then let me konw. Thanks!</p>
<p>Find a polite way to tell them to mind their own business and quit being so absurdly selfish - they are supposed to be adults. Going where <em>you</em> want to for college can mean the difference between 4-8 years of misery and the best years of your life, and only you know what you want to do.</p>
<p>eh, personally, i know people like you, some friends of mine are like this as well. You complain too much, this is your life, your parents will have their opinions and they want you to be happy and protect you, but it is what you want, show respect for your parents, they raised you and and love you. sit down with your parents calmly, show them you are serious. tell them about your dreams and what you always wanted, tell them this is what most people do when they goto college, they live independently and mature. Don't say anything like, i don't care what you say, or i'm going to do what i want. just be honest with them, they are your parents, and they want you to be happy.</p>
<p>There are a lot worse things in this life than having parents who don't want to let you go. :) However, I feel your pain as way back when my parents made me stay home the first two years and I was miserable and actually dropped out at one point. </p>
<p>Maybe instead of hitting them right between the eyes with "I want to go to school in a big northeastern city or on another continent", develop a list of schools that are more of a compromise than a confrontation. Show your maturity by taking their feelings into consideration. They want you to be safe, so take that into consideration, even if it is only for their benefit. Even the best of parents can get panic stricken by the thought of a child going to college hundreds or thousands of miles from home. For 18 years, if you tried to leave your kid in another city and drive away, you'd get arrested. Then, all of a sudden, you are supposed to do it. </p>
<p>So work on that college list. You don't have to go to the outermost regions of the world to be happy at college. Maybe save Australia for a semester abroad after you're parents have had a little time to adjust.</p>
<p>Parents can be a huge pain with the whole college thing. I know one of mine is. The other one is just happy I'm going and wants to make sure I don't drop out (like she and my brother did).</p>
<p>You might compromise by finding a few schools in the areas they want and a few in the areas you want. Maybe you answer your own question when you mention that your family members lack the will to make something of themselves... maybe they are afraid you will blast off and never come back and they'll lose you.</p>
<p>The more loving, respectful, and connected you can be the less they will fear this, if it is underlying their attempt to keep you nearby.</p>
<p>My D was annoyed at me for the opposite resason; we did NOT want her to go to school in our area. :)</p>
<p>Something else to consider...is money a consideration for them? It may be and they are too embarrassed, proud, whatever, to discuss it directly. If that's not it, then maybe they think they are protecting you from possible disappointment in rejection lettters. As a parent, we sometimes do that in a very weird way.</p>
<p>If you argue and debate all the time and show your frustration, it re-enforces their view about your not being able to handle life. Calmness, perhaps having them attend college nights, showing even more how you can handle it. I am not saying you can't, I am saying that's what your parents may want to see. Are you the oldest or only child?</p>
<p>If you approach it as not wanting to get away from their home, but to get the best eudation you can in what interests you, I think you might have more luck!!</p>
<p>I'm the oldest child and I have one brother. I've tried the whole peacful thing. Just yesterday I got an email and letter through the mail from the University of Rochester, New York and my mom was standing in the Den ironing her clothes and I told her that I had got some new mail from colleges. Right off the bat, she was "Well, Where are they from this time" in a really snoody voice. I've asked them when they wanna talk about it and the peaceful stuff just doesn't work. We've tried the whole peaceful thing in other arugments also, but it has never worked. </p>
<p>"You complain too much, this is your life, your parents will have their opinions and they want you to be happy and protect you, but it is what you want, show respect for your parents, they raised you and and love you. sit down with your parents calmly, show them you are serious. tell them about your dreams and what you always wanted, tell them this is what most people do when they goto college, they live independently and mature. Don't say anything like, i don't care what you say, or i'm going to do what i want. just be honest with them, they are your parents, and they want you to be happy."</p>
<p>Well, You can take it as complaining if you choose. Hm, they sure have some way of showing they love me. Lets see, with my mom telling me i'm the most hateful child to ever walk the face of the Earth! Ohh, and them constantly finding anything and everything to fuss and argue and yell at me about. And i've been telling my parents since...like, the 6th grade what I wanted to do. I've never shut up with the "When I get older I wanna do this..." and the "Someday..that's gonna be me". My entire life i've waited for college and dreamed of what it would be like. The whole being nice and sitting down to talk about it just doesn't work. That road has been taken and got no where.</p>
<p>Being the oldest means you have to travel a rougher road with regards to letting go than your little brother. Maybe time will help? Doesn't look like it. </p>
<p>Again, I ask about money. Seriously. If you want to go to colleges they do not want you to go to, that is fine, but who will be paying? If they are paying, they have the power. That is reallity. May not be fair, but you seem to have difficult parents. If you can pay, get loans, get scholarships, there is nothing they can do to stop you. You will be 18. As well, if you want financial aid and your parents will not complete the forms, you need advice from your gc. This is just being pragmatic. Just do what you feel is right for you. Don't sneak around, but don't push it under their noses. Everytime she says she you are hateful, say "Mom, I do love you" then say no more. That is all you can do.</p>
<p>"Something else to consider...is money a consideration for them? It may be and they are too embarrassed, proud, whatever, to discuss it directly. If that's not it, then maybe they think they are protecting you from possible disappointment in rejection lettters. As a parent, we sometimes do that in a very weird way.</p>
<p>If you argue and debate all the time and show your frustration, it re-enforces their view about your not being able to handle life. Calmness, perhaps having them attend college nights, showing even more how you can handle it. I am not saying you can't, I am saying that's what your parents may want to see. Are you the oldest or only child?</p>
<p>If you approach it as not wanting to get away from their home, but to get the best eudation you can in what interests you, I think you might have more luck!!"</p>
<p>Well, It may be a consideration and I'm sure it is, but my parents are the type who wouldn't be too scared to say anything about that. Most of my college will be paid for by Scholarships, Loans, and Grants...either way. I'm not sure how aruging back with them shows that i'm not ready to handle life. They're the only people I ever argue with and mostly because they think I can't make my own decisions. And the approaching it as not wanting to get away from their home won't work. They know I can't wait to leave here. And they know I can't wait to leave here. And they also know it's not cuz I hate Georgia. Me and my parents have never gotten along since I was in about the 5th and 6th grade. Lots of times becuase they were idiotically hell bent on proving that they're the parent and i'm the child which I never went for. But yeah, that whole thing...won't work either.</p>
<p>why do you need permission from your parents in the first place? when i applied to colleges, I got enough aid from schools that I can work to pay for my own tuition.</p>
<p>I have worked with my school's guidance office when i was in high school a few years ago, and i've met many many parents, i have not met one normal parent who does not want the best for their children.</p>
<p>My biological dad was abusive towards my mom and I and he was also a theif and druggie and alcoholic, but after I was about 5 or 6 we had gotten away from all that and then my mom re-married. They're not abusive, just idiotic and half the time do thigns without really thinking and try to play the whole "i'm the parent so do what I say right now and basically bow down and kiss my feet" thing way to far. Such as...when I was in the 6th grade, someone stayed over and left their pair of socks over here and my dad(step) tried to make me wear them. We were there an hour and I ended up being late for school b/c he was hell bent on making me wear those socks which weren't mine when all I had to do was go around the corner and get my own socks. And this is just one of MANY occasions where they took the whole parent thing to far.</p>
<p>Once you turn 18, and can pay for college yourself, you have the power. There is nothing they can do to stop you. That's it. GO for your dreams and maybe your parents will miss you when you are gone, maybe not. That will be something they will use if you go to a school they "disaprove" of. Not welcoming you home. Not that for you that would necessarily be a bad thing. So again, if money to go to school is in your control, then go for it!! An adult can make an adult decision. Your parents will have to learn to live with that. Just don't argue. Stop the arguing. Let whatever they say wash over you. You know you cannot change their minds. Why try anymore? Its like talking to a wall I guess. Just be the best person you can be, put that frustration and energy into getting the best grades, best test scores, best recs you can, so you have those choices you really want.</p>
<p>I think you need to reconsider everything you've written in this thread. You're still in the very early, conceptual stage of the college application process. Instead of calling your parents idiotic, and saying they're "taking the whole parent thing too far," consider what's coming up. This time next year, you will know why they're doing this. This entire process is the most serious thing (barring tragedy) a student can face at that point in his or her life. It won't mean much to you right now, but next spring, I want you to consider how you would have felt if they had been uncooperative in a different way-- if they had no part in it. Take it from me, you don't want your wish to come true.</p>
<p>iCon, they may know you are aiming for levels high above them and that may bug them.</p>
<p>For other reasons, I could not wait to get out of my house, school, and town (though my parents supported this dream). I absolutely adored college. I suggest you keep your head down and get the best grades and SATs you can which will help you on your way.</p>
<p>WARNING: do not let anger/frustration be the overriding tone of your essays or interviews... even if you ARE angry. Try to turn it into excitment, joy, anticipation, and zest for the next phase of life, or try to find the humor in it. Otherwise you might look too cranky to be appealing to the schools.</p>
<p>Can you get a meeting with them and the college guidance counsellor? Our counsellor did a talk with the parents where they ask to parents to advise, but not to interfere. They ask the parents to trust the child with the process. </p>
<p>I think it would be a good idea for you to present an early stage list of possible schools and explain the reason each school would be good. Also if they cover 100% of need based aid and if they give merit scholarships. I think you will have to ask them to let you pick schools on the basis of a good fit for you and your goals rather than by location. I think it's a great idea to offer to add some schools in the area, while you learn more about everything. But right now you are just a junior so this may all be too early.</p>
<p>Icon, let us start with the basics. There are many awesome schools in your neighborhood (Emory, Vanderbilt, UNC-Chapel Hill, Duke, UVA, Davidson, University of the South, Washington and Lee, Georgetown, University of Georgia, University of Florida etc...). What do you wish to major in? What are your grades/SAT/class rank like? What ECs do you have? Etc...</p>
<p>It seems to me that if you are paying for college totally on your own with scholarships, grants and loans then you are home free...just do it and don't talk much about it.</p>
<p>On the other hand, if you are expecting them to pay for anything, you owe them some respect. And they have a right to have a say where you go. </p>
<p>It's tough, but you say you are ready for the real world...that's reality!</p>