Hey guys,
So my uncle currently has depression and he has been living with my family for the past 3 years so that my father could help him. I am thinking about how living with him has affected my life, but I have heard that writing about mental disorders is risky for college admissions. However, I am not the one experiencing the depression, so would it be alright if I write about my uncle?
Maybe. Seems like a potential violation of personal privacy. I suppose you could ask him if it’s ok.
@JustOneDad
I have asked him and he said it was alright, but I am asking this question for the point of view of an adcom or college.
It’s risky. Is it the only thing you can write about successfully? Are you going to talk about what you’ve learned from it or how it has affected your life?
Probably more about what I have learned from it. Just initial comments about how it affected my life and then how I learned from it.
What do you think it’s going to do for you (that some other topic won’t/can’t do)?
Also,
I didn’t put this in the original post, but he is getting a lot better because of medication and he is actually moving out to live on his own in the near future, which I consider a big step. So I would write more about how he overcame adversity and how I learned from it. (He is also an immigrant so his problems were compounded when he initially moved in with us with the cultural adjust)
@JustOneDad
Partially to show that I understand the world is not full of roses and how unforgiving the world can be. I want to avoid coming off as a child who has had everything given in life(which in truth I partially am)
Aha. The old “I haven’t had any adversity to overcome” essay problem.
In all honesty, I feel like this is a somewhat irrelevant topic. Depression sucks, and I’m certainly not trying to minimize the impact it can have on one’s life and the lives of those around that person, but as a topic for an admissions essay, I wouldn’t write about this.
A lot of people seem to think that they’re at some kind of disadvantage if they haven’t overcome some type of extreme adversity, and this just isn’t the case. I’m not trying to ‘one-up’ you, but I came through a drastically more adverse situation than this prior to college, and it was never even mentioned on my college application. It wasn’t relevant to my academic performance or my intended goals at the schools to which I applied.
In short, I think this is a rather risky topic.
It’s a risky topic, but it appears to come about because of a very specific essay prompt.
Luckily, my kids had competitive sports to write about.
You definitely don’t need to exclude topics that aren’t relevant to academic performance or goals in school. Not at all. As a matter of fact, sometimes the academic performance speaks for itself and you can use the essay to reveal other attractive attributes. Offbeat topics can lead to interesting essays, a la Univ of Chicago prompts. For transfer candidates that would be more reasonable for general advice. It is more to the point for a transfer but still if there is something that is a hardship affecting your life, then that is relevant to the kind of information holistic acceptance colleges are interested in to put your application in context.
I don’t find it a risky topic. It isn’t about you personally having depression, which is risky because the school won’t know how to evaluate your mental health. This is something you are exposed to in the context of your extended family and living with someone with depression and you have expressed here that it has provoked some thoughts in you that you might not otherwise have been exposed to. That’s fine. Just don’t act like it is some personal hardship on you, don’t talk about him more than about your own thoughts on the situation, and edit out cliche phrases which may slip out easily.
It isn’t the most scintillating topic but I think it can work well if done well.
@BrownParent
Thank you! You expressed exactly what I was thinking of and I just wanted to confirm.
It’s not risky but you run the risk of having an irrelevant essay. You’re talking about your uncle and how he’s affected you but you have to direct it back to you as a person without coming off as entitled or anything like that. Don’t stray too far off-topic or cliche – it’s easy to talk about how your grandma was the best person but you need to redirect that energy into you. Give the adcoms a glimpse of you as a person.
@BrownParent - That is a very good point. I’m a transfer student, and as you say, admissions essays for transfer students often tend to be more oriented toward academic topics. My perspective on the subject is likely biased toward that end.
Be careful with your approach to this. Clearly it would be in large part about your uncle, but you want the essay to clearly reflect how your uncle’s struggles have affected you and what you’ve learned from them.
Maybe how you learned something about your father (and a life lesson for you) from the situation? But I might steer clear of writing something very predictable, pat, simplistic or expected. “It taught me the importances of patience.” “It taught me the importance of family.” To me that is something they see a lot and does not really stand out as an essay. Dig really deep and try to find something very unique, insightful and original to say about this. (You can change it from uncle and just say family member.)
Thanks everyone for your help! I understand the danger in writing about my essay, and I will ensure that the essay focuses on me and my life. Do you guys think that something along the lines of “The differences that exist in society affect each person individually and create their own, unique struggle and life path” makes sense? I would also add specifics about my “family member” to illustrate how I have come to this conclusion. That is a very, very rough idea of what I am actually going to write but am I at least in the right direction? I do want to make this essay very nuanced. Also, since this essay can easily turn sideways would any of you be willing to read it, so I get an outsider’s point of view on the subject and someone who is honest and would say that the essay is cliche(if it is)?
Hmm, I’m going to suggest this might not be the right approach. Depression can affect anyone and not be circumstantial. You can have the best circumstances in the world and be depressed. Clinical depression is typically a chemical imbalance, not the result of life circumstances. Your topic above is very wide and very general. Adcoms want you to talk about you, reflection about even the simplest things can be very insightful. Most essays about someone else don’t work. Don’t add specifics about your family member, add specifics about you. Most essays about how you won the award, saved the day, etc. don’t work. Maybe one moment with your family member that changed your perception, helped you out, scared you, opened some kind of emotion that you weren’t used to experiencing. Or perhaps that family member doesn’t realize the influence they have had on you but you’re beginning to realize it? Write about yourself and your thought processes and your emotions. Share the parts that aren’t necessarily flattering, but they are real - as long as you are recognizing them and heading in a positive direction, Adcoms love self awareness.
@saskatchewan Ok thank for your input. I was definitely steering the wrong way. I will try to add some reflection. Right now I have AP exams(last one tomorrow) and am not able to put in as much thought as I would like. Is it ok if i get back to you people this weekend and see if people think my general idea is good?
@LanaH100
That is a very good point. There is a sort of opportunity cost of writing this essay(sorry I am self studying macro and micro right now so this is on my mind). I do have two aspects that I want to show as a part of my essay and I will prioritize those first in my essays. However, if I feel I have sufficiently showcased those aspects, I will probably write this essay to show about my ability to critically think and analyze. This is actually the ability that I view as the best part of myself and, while it is a very general term for a skill, this ability has influenced what I have done for my ecs. So this essay may be a good way to show the impact on my life and my critical thinking abilities.