Hello, right now I’m dealing with familial issues I’ve detailed in different posts. Because of them, my mental health is not in a good place. I cannot focus on school right now no matter how much I try and it’s affecting my grades. I have 3 As, 3 A-s, and 1 B-. I had a few tests within the last few days and I think I did okay but I still have the nagging feeling I bombed all of them. My anxiety has been off the charts, my brain feels slower, and my temper has been absurdly high. My educational success is slipping because of what is going on. How do I anchor myself and not drop my grades? I’ve been trying so hard but my mind just can’t stay attentive. My next therapist appointment isn’t for another week and a half. Do any parents/teachers/peers here have any advice for my situation?
What year are you again? I remember you have a very toxic family situation. Can you get your therapist to bump up the appointment? They should be meeting with you twice a week considering your situation with your mom.
Does your school offer free tutoring - not that you are having difficulty understanding the material, but just to have someone reassure you that you’re on task, doing your work correctly, at the right level, helping keep your focus, etc.
Make sure you are getting a little exercise and a lot of sleep each day, and eating healthy.
Are your ECs contributing to your stress or offering relief? Does your school have a yoga club? Can you talk to your Dad about taking a day or a weekend together for a change of scenery?
Are you keeping your GC posted?
Hang in there. My thoughts are with you. Remember: “This too shall pass.”
@Groundwork2022 I’m a sophomore (grade 10). I spoke to my therapist but sadly no because he’s overbooked. My school doesn’t offer tutoring- I try to ask as many questions during class as I can, but yeah, we don’t have tutoring. I could go to the library, I think there’s some there. I need to work on the exercise and sleep thing lol, bowling is nice and relaxing but it doesn’t do much exercise. I’m about to start conditioning myself for track so I hope that helps. My therapist says exercise wil help me. I think my ECs are contributing to my stress, if we’re being honest- I’m scared I suck at them and am getting worse. I might talk my dad into letting me join a yoga class or something, though, just to keep relaxed? Idk. My GC is aware of the situation but not the toll it’s taking on me mentally, I don’t really like to share my feelings because they make me feel kinda weak. Thank you for the kind words.
My advice would be to drop some ECs. I saw your list, and you have like 20 ECs typed out. They are kind of all over the place, as well. What do you want to do in college? I would narrow them down to focus more on that prospective major and get leadership roles.
You also can’t sacrifice your mental health for grades. You seem to focus more on the issue of grades, rather than the issue of your mental health. I am a junior in high school now, and although I haven’t had any B-s, I have had multiple A-s. At some point, you have to realize that college is one step in the road. It’s not like if you don’t go to Harvard, you’re going to fail in life. My mother is a business executive who didn’t go to a top 30 school (she went to around a top 50 school), and she denies people jobs who go to those top schools all of the time.
We are also kids. You only get one childhood. I think a major issue with the American high school now is that we are so college-oriented that we forget about actual life. High school and college are eight years in total, for the average person. So, that’s about 10% of the average person’s life. Figure out your mental health issues with your therapist, get past the grades, and move on. Life is a learning curve.
@ab2002 About the EC list- about half of those were last year and stuff. I have legit 0 clue what I want to do in college. Maybe CS but maybe not.
You’re right, but idk no matter what I tell myself I still stay super anxious about my grades, even though I probably just want to go to one of these boarding schools for the experience and then an LAC or Purdue or something, so like inside me I know my grades are fine… idk, I’ve been trying to tell myself I’m fine but it’s hard to calm down.
Go to your Guidance Counselor ASAP and talk to them about what is going on.
Tell them you are getting therapy, but you are having a hard time. THey may be able to get you some accomodations.
Drop, for now, any ECs that you need to. …unless they bring you joy.
So if you have a speech to write…maybe skip that for now. But if practicing piano brings you a needed escape, do that.
Would studying with a friend help?
@bopper I’m thinking of dropping Student Council just because of the anxiety brought with it- maybe I’ll go through with it. I study with friends for AP Psych and I do well in there so maybe I should form study groups for the rest of my classes
Are you sleeping ok? Sleep is so important for everyone and especially so for people of your age group, but it is often the first to be sacrificed. Making sure you are having at least 7-8 hours of good sleep every night. Don’t get into the vicious cycle of worrying of grades - losing sleep - grades falling - worrying. No grades and no school are worth of sacrificing your health for.
@makemesmart I do generally sleep a lot (8-9 hours) but it’s incredibly restless sleep, I always wake up and roll around, etc. I’ve tried everything- I haven’t ever drank coffee, I try to avoid electronics late at night, all that, but my sleep sucks.
You are doing the right thing in terms of avoiding caffeined drinks/not using electronics, let’s try a few more things?
- add exercise into your daily routine, yoga will be a great addition, running/aerobic exercises will be great too if you have not already done so. I know it is getting colder but if you could squeeze in 20-30’ outdoor activities under the sun, it will do some wonders to your mood/sleep
- lower the room temperature where you sleep, a lightly colder room is good for falling asleep and sleeping well
- have a bedtime routine, go to bed at roughly the same time everyday, and get up at the same time, don’t be too much off course on weekend either.
I saw other posters mentioning you have some difficulty in family front, your anxiety might be one manifestation of that situation, please take good care of yourself and try to talk to some adults in your life that you trust.
@makemesmart I need to practice shot put- I’ll prolly do that! I always go to bed at 11PM (my dad makes me) but it’s not super routine lol I’ll try to fix it. Also I am trying my best to take care of myself but sometimes I suck at it, trying to get better ya feel