Mental illness (???) and college admissions. Please help!

Applying to College
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<p>Hello all.</p>

<p>I am currently a senior applying to colleges right now, and I need some advice about dealing with apps and personal troubles. Here is my situation (excuse my poor grammar; I'm writing this rushed):</p>

<p>I go to a small private school and have so far been doing relatively well in academics. I have straight A's, as in a few A-'s, A+'s, and solid A's in all my classes, many of which are rigorous, I have taken so far. My GPA is fairly high, but it is not the highest in my class. I have taken 8 AP's (I crammed in 6, one of which I self-studied for, just last spring but I did well on all of them) and received the National AP scholar award. There are only seven people in my entire grade who has received that award. I got a 2370 on the SAT the first and only time I took it (missed one in math :( ), 800 on SAT Math II and 770 in SAT Chem. Just recently, I got the semi-finalist distinction from the National Merit test/ PSAT. I am also vice- president of my school's Key Club, co-captain of my school's Science Olympiad team, editor (not head editor) on my school's newspaper, regular volunteer at a hospital, play tennis and lacrosse (not very good at either but I enjoy both), and have hundreds of service hours. I have done volunteering/ interning through a bio lab, though pretty informally, and have gone on a service trip and helped out at a school there. While I have not done anything spectacular, like starting any companies or curing cancer or anything, and I'm not particularly talented in a single area, I am passionate about community service and helping others. I am certainly not the best in academics, I am fairly up there, and I consider myself as a somewhat competitive applicant. I am looking into direct med programs and Ivy Leagues. (Are my chances okay?) </p>

<p>Here are some problems though:</p>

<p>I have had lots of pressure and built up stress from my tiger parents (I know they love me and all and I love them back but it can be kind of difficult dealing with them) throughout my whole life to do well academically and attend a good college, which is very typical for Asian-Americans. But I suppose I was weak and couldn't handle it and have resorted to terrible coping methods since tenth grade, such as self-harm, suicidal thoughts, starvation, and avoidance of people in general. For some reason, I was able to keep my grades, test scores, and club activities up, but my relationship with teachers have quickly spiraled down due to social anxiety. Sometimes, in severe episodes, I have these panicky, paranoid thoughts that everyone is against me and I am prone to making irrational decisions in such cases, such as deliberate self-mutilation, which I realize is an immature and offensive way to deal with issues but sometimes I lose control and do stupid crap.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, last year, my friend whom I trusted and talked to, told the school counselor and my parents and I had to meet with her and school authorities. However, we were able to sidestep (I think (?), hopefully...) the issue by assuring them it was all made up. Things have quieted down for now, but I fear the school might still think I have problems, and I still deal with these issues and worry a lot about them. I realize I cannot talk to anyone at school about my issues or else they will report and things will blow up once again.</p>

<p>Should I worry about college admissions finding out about this incident? I think it is a bad idea, however, as they most likely won't want to accept any seemingly distressed applicants. Also, I do really want to get help from professionals but I fear if I do, the school may notify the colleges I'm applying to and that will greatly diminish my chances. Any advice about what should I do? I'm really lost. Maybe I should seek out help next year when I have finished and turned in college apps? If I do find help, will my school contact the colleges? Should I seek out help in the spring when acceptance letters come out? Can colleges revoke acceptances if they find out about these issues?</p>

<p>Thanks and much appreciated!</p>

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<p>Assuming this is for real…</p>

<p>"Unfortunately, last year, my friend whom I trusted and talked to, told the school counselor and my parents and I had to meet with her and school authorities. "</p>

<p>That was NOT unfortunate.</p>

<p>“However, we were able to sidestep (I think)”</p>

<p>THAT was unfortunate. </p>

<p>I have no experience as an admissions professional, but somewhat personal and professional experience with what you’ve described. </p>

<p>I advise you to deal with this now. </p>

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<p>Shrinkrap,
You sound like an amazing student and person. I think getting a handle on your anxiety should be your number one priority. I would recommend you find a professional you can talk with about your anxiety. Remember often the issues with anxiety are neuro biological are not your fault, and not necessarily in your control. Having said that there are lots of professionals that can give you great advice to help you manage the anxiety and improve your quality of life and probably even help you reach your full potential. Best of luck.</p>

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<p>The above post should have been for Hhkm987, not shrinkrap.</p>

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<p>Your friend did the RIGHT thing by expressing her understandable concern for you. Please take care of yourself first to learn healthy coping skills, which you can then use in college.</p>

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<p>Seeking help outside the school environment can be confidential. A health care professional is bound by HIPPA, and I don’t think they can tell your school what is discussed without your permission (or your parent’s permission if you are a minor). I think you should tell your parents you are having issues and ask to see a mental health professional outside of school for counseling and to get help with your anxiety.</p>

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<p>Deleted</p>

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<p>Thank you all for replying. My main question is when I should seek help. Right now, I am currently feeling fine and doing a lot better in school and the social environment. I no longer have suicidal thoughts but I can still be impulsive with myself. If I seek help outside the school environment right now, I’m worried that it may interfere with school work and college essays.I am confident I can hold my cool long enough until after college apps are turned in.</p>

<p>Will any of this affect college decisions? </p>

<p>@intparent Thank you for telling me about the confidentiality issue. I will look into that. My parents are aware of this and are doing their best to be less harsh but sometimes slip up. Unfortunately, my parents think this is something I should just get over and I sometimes agree with that. I am Korean-American, and in our culture, mental health is often overlooked and dismissed :(</p>

<p>Any thoughts?</p>

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<p>Colleges will not find out about the incident in which you met with your counselor. They will have no way of knowing if you are seeking professional help. The best thing you can do right now is to seek professional help. On two occasions, two separate friends either took me to the school counselor or made the counselor talk to me. You cannot be mad at your friend for that; he or she made the exact right call. I have my two friends to thank for making me address my problems before they escalated. You owe it to yourself to seek professional help. </p>

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<p>Any advice on trying to seek help without the school knowing? My only idea is to talk to the school counselor again and get contacts from her, but then I would be interacting with the school again… </p>

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<p>At my school, there’s a confidentiality agreement that means the counselor cannot tell anyone outside what you discussed without your permission. Check if there’s something like that at your school.</p>

<p>Mental health should NOT affect your college admissions, as colleges (if they do find out) will be impressed that you have been able to keep up your grades while dealing with a mental health disorder. You can’t control the fact that you have one, so it should not affect your acceptances.</p>

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<p>Thank you for responding @topaz1116 ! </p>

<p>Here is another question (sorry I ask a lot of questions) regarding my doubts about professional help.</p>

<p>Let’s say I do find that help. I sometimes see that people with my situation often end up hospitalized or something. (This has almost happened with one of my classmates, who unfortunately has let her grades drop, and she has a psychiatrist but from what I can tell, she’s not doing any better and misses school a lot… )</p>

<p>While I strongly do not believe my case is severe enough as that and I may be overly wary or cautious, I am still wondering how the school would deal with that if I were indeed hospitalized or had to miss school often. Will they contact and notify the colleges I’m applying about this leave? If so, how would they react?</p>

<p>Also does anyone known how mental health healthcare works in college? I hope to continue to work hard in college and pursue my dream of going into med school but I don’t want some emotional issues getting in the way of that.</p>

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<p>You can still get into colleges if you are hospitalized. All they need to say is that you were hospitalized for medical reasons, and they don’t need to go into any more detail than that. I would strongly encourage you to seek help sooner rather than later, because you deserve to be safe and healthy. You will only be hospitalized if you are a danger to yourself or others. As far as actually seeking help goes, you might be able to find a list of in-network local providers through your family’s insurance provider, or you can also ask your primary care doc for a referral</p>

<p>In college, it can vary by school. All schools have a health center and most have a counseling/mental health section there. Some schools have counselors you can meet with for free, and others have a list of people in the community that they can refer you out to. Feel free to message me if you have any specific questions about navigating that system while in college. </p>

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<p>I would think that these issues might worsen in college, and so you owe it to yourself and your future to address them now. They can ruin a college career faster (and with more financial risk) than they might disrupt your high school progress. Don’t wait for a building crisis. So, find a psychotherapist and psychiatrist now in your community who specialize in working with teens. If there’s a treatment center for people who cut near you, contact them and ask for some names of therapists or psychiatrists they work with. Or ask for an evaluation. Check your parents’ medical insurance for docs in-network. Another resource is a regional NAMI chapter. If you’re considering a career as a physician, the process and experience of seeking evaluation and any needed treatment for your conditions would be enlightening, I would think. The process won’t get in the way of your college essay writing — it could even wind up enriching your thinking/reflection about your essays (that doesn’t mean I’m suggesting you write about MI in an essay).</p>

<p>Typically: In college, students visit the mental healthcare counselors for a limited number of visits (maybe 10), and if more or different treatment is needed, the students are referred to community-based caregivers. Students might have their treatment based in their home community with a therapist and psychiatrist, who can coordinate with providers at or near your college for the schoolyear. </p>

<p>Have your parents seriously consider buying college tuition insurance (make sure it covers MI diagnoses), btw. </p>

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<p>@Hhkm987… My daughter went through this in high school, so I have direct experience with this, and tons of compassion for you. I congratulate you on coming here to ask about this. I strongly, strongly urge you to find help now, while you are in high school. I know it seems overwhelming because you also have the regular stress of school plus the stress of college applications, but that is all the more reason to do it now. My daughter was able to (fairly quickly!) learn some healthy coping mechanisms to use in place of the clearly destructive ones you’re relying on now. She has told us many times how grateful she is that she got help in high school rather than waiting. The stakes are going to be higher in college, and the stresses likely greater. You really don’t want to enter into that situation without having addressed these issues.</p>

<p>As everyone said, confidentiality is an important part of any treatment you seek. Colleges will not know unless you tell them. Don’t worry about that: concentrate on finding help.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, “finding help” is sometimes difficult. Can you enlist the help of your parents? It does take some research and perseverance to find a good fit, but it one million percent worth it. dyiu13 has excellent advice above on places to start. Perhaps begin by making an appointment with your family doctor, who might have some ideas. You will probably want a psychiatrist AND a therapist. The “fit” of the therapist is going to be important. I recommend that either you or a parent call several and do a phone consult to see if they seem like someone you will like, and also ask very specifically if they have experience with self harm, eating disorders, and adolescent anxiety/depression. And keep in mind that if the first person you see doesn’t seem like a good fit, you can try another. My daughter met with 2 or 3 before she found the woman who she clicked with, and who helped her SO much.</p>