<p>I don't know. Again, i'm not in college yet, so i haven't gone through that process yet. It's up to you.</p>
<p>Okay. So I think my question has been VERY clearly answered by the people on this thread. But the main objection seems to be one that was entirely unexpected by me: liability. That is, that the colleges will be so worried about something happening to me and getting consequently sued, that they will engage in the highly illegal and immoral but completely unproveable practice of discrimination. Basically the idea is that, faced with the extremely remote possibility of two lawsuits, they choose to take their chances with the one for which they have complete impunity- the discrimination case. Fine, this is your argument, I'll accept it. It seems like a huge reach, but a lot of people said the same thing, so whatever. Alright, so my question now is, what if I write about a mental illness that they could not possibly be held liable for? I have also suffered with bulimia nervosa for years, and I could easily change the story from bipolar disorder to bulimia and omit the suicide completely. It would be a (fairly) true story, unless you believe, as I do, that a lie by omission is a lie all the same. Regardless, do you think that this is a reasonable way to still discuss the main themes that I wish to bring out, without being quite as risky and out there as suicidal depression might be? How about if I just get rid of the suicide, what is the risk level then? Right now, I'm leaning towards the bulimia angle, as it would apparently (using the reasons you all have given) pose a lower risk and yet would allow me to tell my story just the same. What do you think?</p>
<p>I'm so glad this discussion is evolving here.</p>
<p>In post #8, eponymous describes eloquently the subject of the essay. The background, affiliation, then personal experience, and enlightenment. Those are great fodder for an essay. What strikes me in that post is a very positive approach to the topic.</p>
<p>So, now my recommendations would be to soften the details. It isn't relevant to this essay that there was a suicide attempt. In fact, the "diagnosis" isn't relevant. You don't have to disclose any of that given the context of what you're trying to convey in the essay. Keep the specifics of your illness out of it. You can talk about the fact that you found yourself needing help without saying the exact type of help or the exact problem. </p>
<p>I've definitely warming up to this topic for you.</p>
<p>ElliotsMom, I think that has been the most reasonable and helpful post I have received on this topic yet! Yeah, you're right, there are probably so many ways I can shift the emphasis to the transformation of my feelings without really giving specifics, and that would probably make people way less uncomfortable. I'll seriously work on that. Since the diagnosis, suicide and treatment are totally not the point of the essay, there's gotta be a way I can avoid mentioning them explicitly without really denying anything. Thanks so so so much.</p>
<p>I should also admit that this whole application process has been very stressful for me, and with it hanging over my head I have been unable to concentrate on my schoolwork... So last night I just stayed up all night and hammered out an essay to get it over and done with. This may not have been the best idea. I probably need to take a step back and look at the essay again with fresh eyes, rather than just trying to finish it up already. I'll figure out what I want to say, what I have to say, and then take it from there. Revision can work wonders.</p>
<p>Another thing I just noticed, you said without specifying "the exact type of help" I'm not quite sure how vague you're asking me to be here. I don't think this essay would carry much weight if it's not clear that I'm talking about, say, psychotherapy or whatever. Yes, I can leave out the suicide, and prob even the diagnosis, but not the broader issue of mental illness. I understand that details can sometimes make people uncomfortable, so maybe I'll work on avoiding specifics, but this essay would seem absolutely irrelevant if the most specific I get is "I had a problem." So how much detail is considered appropriate? Is it okay to say that I had a mental illness? Is it okay to say I was depressed? Is it okay to say I was struggling? I'm wondering if people could continue to make helpful endorsements, along the line of ElliotsMom here, rather than simply telling me to shut up, as a few particularly unhelpful posters did.</p>
<p>Eponymous, I'm glad that you're picking a topic that is true to you. As a disclaimer, I believe that colleges and students should both be fits for each other, and if a college rejects you, then the fit wasn't great. Hence, I believe in taking risks in college essays, especially risks that show who you are as a person. I'd definately agree on softening the details of your essay -- focus on your personal journey, and not on the diagnosis. However, make sure that you don't sacrifice who you are in an attempt to win the approval of colleges. </p>
<p>There's also a way to slip in references to the college admissions process in your essay without making them obvious. You can definately address the stigma you had to overcome to share your problems, and how coping with that stigma is just part of what makes you - you. As readers, we often wish to judge the writers before really knowing them, and this works as a preventative measure against judgment. Good luck!</p>
<p>Agreed, that you'll have to include some specificity for the essay to make sense. There is a very wide range of mental illness. I think what you should try to convey is that you are quite functional. Try to reassure the school by what you write, that you're not disabled by it. Depression is so common now (though there is also a wide range of degrees) that I think it would be okay to mention. Struggling would be even more vague. Psychotherapy as a method to work through your struggles would be fine too. Struggling is actually a soft term that most people can relate to in their own lives. It could also be an accurate reflection of what was going on with you, eventhough your experience was perhaps more severe than the average person's "struggles." Struggling is a broad term, so it would be safe to use.</p>
<p>I'm actually worried, eponymous, that you are softening the other posters by engaging in a lengthier, semi-conversational discussion with them. Realize that the adcoms will not have this opportunity to see more of you than your essay, which I'd expect to be more formal, and quite a bit shorter.</p>
<p>That said, I'm looking at this cold, so if you want an opinion, I'd be more than willing to take a look. I think that with the right tone and execution (how insensitive an approach, I know), the essay may compel, but anything but, and the adcoms will be left too wary. The risk is quite great, and it all depends on the quality and emotion of the essay.</p>
<p>this is a really interesting topic....
i'm also probably going to mention being diagnosed with clinical depression in my essay, but i sort of figured this wouldn't be such a big deal. suicide has never come up for me, and i express in the essay that the depression has been resolved, at least in terms of no longer taking or needing medication. depression was a big part of my senior year of high school, and really the catalyst for where i am today, so i found it pretty important to mention in my "why transfer" essay. </p>
<p>this couldn't actually hurt my chances to any extent... could it?</p>
<p>I would avoid this topic at all cost from what I read. One of the 4 Ds: Depression, Death, etc..</p>
<p>
[quote]
depression was a big part of my senior year of high school, and really the catalyst for where i am today, so i found it pretty important to mention in my "why transfer" essay.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>The essay is part of the overall marketing effort that is the college application. The student is presenting reasons that the college should accept him/her.</p>
<p>The essay must therefore be providing additional reasons for the college to offer admission. The essay is not an autobiography. The essay must be truthful, but the mere fact that something is true or was important does not automatically mean that it belongs in a college essay (even if it would belong in an autobiography). </p>
<p>It may be true that the applicant has forgotten who Churchill was. It may be true that the applicant showers every fourth day. Those things may be true, they may even be important, but imo they don't belong in most college essays. </p>
<p>What belongs in a college essay is writing that is personal, detailed, honest and revealing, but with an overall positive tone such that the AdCom learns additional reasons to admit the applicant. </p>
<p>Can depression allow for this type of writing better than any other topic? If so, fine. But depression should not be written about just because it was important or significant to the applicant. </p>
<p>If depression, or any other apparently negative circumstance, was so important in the applicant's life that discussing it is unavoidable, then imo the applicant should consider submitting a supplementary statement. To allow a strongly negative circumstance to take over a personal essay denies the applicant an important opportunity to present her/himself in a mainly positive light.</p>
<p>that's very solid advice adad, thanks. it also makes me totally rethink and unsure of how i am approaching the essay, though. </p>
<p>i think i'll actually just make my concerns a separate post to get more advice...</p>
<p>"how to approach why transfer essay... advice from experienced people (or anyone) really needed"</p>
<p>eerrrr, make that, "how to approach why transfer essay. odd college experience, good advice needed"</p>
<p>While overcoming an obstacle is a good topic for an essay, it's definitely better if it's an obstacle that is unlikely to come back.</p>