<p>GM & FG (re: #67/68) - Of course the comment is silly. I was merely pointing out that IF the support provided by the lady in the article was not warranted (because HS students should learn to take of themselves) then private schools and the like are equally unwarranted because those students sure aren’t paying for their private school tuition! (Or are we doing one of those class warfare things, where the rich send their kids off to professionals for development and the less wealthy are told to “suck it up and compete.”)</p>
<p>That said, I do think it’s up to each family to decide what’s best for their students … Octomom being a possible exception I guess.</p>
<p>Iglooo - on-line, Google could do miracles.</p>
<p>" I see dual professional couples with 1-2 abandoned children "
Exact case here, no abandoned children. In fact, drove my D. to 5 different after school activities after work and she ended up graduatin at the top of her HS class from private school which would not be possible w/o “dual professional” couple as well as her new baby grand piano and multiple out of town swim meets each costing at least $500 with all hotel stays, fees, meals,…etc. College paid for my S out of our payroll checks, D. had Merit $$ after graduating from very expensive small private school. Both are very outgoing and accepting individuals who know how to adjust to different situations / social settings… because they were NOT kept at home most of the time, which includes expensive summer camps…etc. Many, many more opportunities for kids of working couple if this couple has its priorities correct. To me, kids were always #1. I am still working and love my job, which again would not be possible if I stopped and stayed at home all depressed and feeling disconnected.</p>
<p>Well, then, there you go. Of course, any father of a small child who goes off to work doesn’t get the accusation of “not caring enough to stay at home with them.”</p>
<p>As someone who has always worked full time (though switched to a home office setting when my kids were about 9), I think the more important years are the middle and hs years, not the baby / toddler ones.</p>
<p>Post 83:
Congrats! Great job. (You’re not at all the template parents I was referring to; I recognize that it’s the lifestyle within the choices made, not the choices themselves.) </p>
<p>The parents I was referring to (unfortunately, too common where I live), want their children supervised, guided, role-modeled – but by everyone except themselves.</p>
<p>Sounds as if you had, as you said, “your priorities correct.”</p>
<p>I sure hope, though, that we don’t define ‘being a good parent’ on the basis of ‘doing those things we assume necessary to get our children into an elite college’, and as a marker of ‘good parent’ status that ‘kid got into (insert elite private college here)’.</p>
<p>I wish my parents took me to MY music lessons instead of ME paying the gas money to get there…who can honestly afford $10 a lesson?</p>
<p>I also wish my mom would have helped me AT ALL in the college process, including helping me pay to take my SATs, and taking me to schools to visit(I told her if she could do one thing for me, this would be it…). Forget hounding me about the applications…, if she would have read my essay, we still wouldnt be talking to this day.</p>
<p>Also, Im at THE top school in my field. You shouldnt NEED to do anything to get your kid into an elite college, the kid should have that merit on his/her OWN!</p>
<p>The article reminds me of the one about the high scoring kid that was rejected by all of the Ivies. Didn’t the dad essentially quit his job to drive his kid to research opportunities and ecs?</p>
<p>I’m a high school junior perusing the Parent section, so I hope I’m not outstepping my boundaries.</p>
<p>In my opinion, this article is extremely over the top. I will admit, I go to a very rigorous private college prep school that does an excellent job preparing and helping students apply to college. That said, my process is much easier than that of many others. My parents are involved, that’s for sure, but quitting jobs for college seems a little extreme. Maybe it’s just because I’m the self-motivated type that I see it this way, but the idea of constantly having my mom check over my HW, help me study, etc. seems ludicrous (and a little unfair). My mom does not work, but she also doesn’t spend her time obsessing over MY school work. College Apps are my responsibility as are scheduling visits. My parents will come with me, but they understand it’s up to me, not them. </p>
<p>I can understand parents helping children who cannot seem to be on top of anything. This, however, seems like quite a different situation. Hovering parents that do everything for their kids are doing them a huge disservice. They won’t be able to rely on you when they’re away at school. </p>
<p>If your kid only gets into a top college because you’ve done everything for them, what makes you think that they’re going to succeed there without your constant aid? I think that a student needs to be as independent as possible.</p>
<p>I don’t think we can conclude that the mom in the article does everything for her kids. I don’t even believe she stayed home just to help with college admissions either, but to be available more readily for the kids. </p>
<p>UgaDawgs, I have to say, I don’t see your critique as being all that valid, when after all, your mom does stay home too, and in fact, you go to a private school that helps kids apply to college. Perhaps the mom in the article also wanted to stay home like YOUR mom and perhaps her kids don’t go to a high school where such guidance is readily available.</p>
<p>I was a mom who was home when my kids were in high school and did not help with homework either and also have self motivated kids. But I had more time with them to support various endeavors including driving them to all their activities, taking them on college trips, and helping with something that they asked me to look at or discuss, etc. Not all moms who are home are doing everything FOR the kid.</p>