Messed up 3 years out of HS, what now? :(

Not sure if this is the right section so bear with me. Also if people want specifics feel free to shoot me a message as I’d prefer to keep this somewhat ambiguous as to my real identity in a public forum (unless posting more specific information would be a significant help in which case I may end up just posting it here).

So a little backstory. I come from a super oriental / eastern family background where the attitude around the home is kids have to be academics full time and doctor / engineer. Me being me, I wanted to find my own way but went into engineering anyway. Now my senior year of high school, someone very close to me passed away and I didn’t deal with it well at all, I became an emotional wreck, made bad decisions, health suffered etc. I managed to scrape together my senior year and get into a few good universities.

So transitioning into my freshman year undergrad, my grades suffered. I ended up withdrawing my first semester, getting a GPA of below 1.00 my second semester; withdraw a summer semester where I intended to catch up for my previous shortcomings.

Then I moved to another school and state since this obviously wasn’t working and my first school put me on academic leave for a year. Here I started speaking to a therapist and working out my issues. So my next 2 semesters were as non degree student meaning they’re just empty credits and don’t really take me anywhere / aren’t practical (2 years after having graduated high school now). My third year’s semesters, I again withdrew them both as I absolutely hated engineering and wanted to go my own path. Now having figured out what I want to do, I am at the start of what would be my senior year, however I am still a non degree student with a horrible track record and no real progress.

My question is, how bad of a position am I in, and how would I move forward? I would say I was a fairly good student in high school (up till that event in my senior year), and a great test taker, however my emotional fragility had me in complete shambles and dysfunctional for 1.5-2 years and now I am absolutely lost with no idea how to move forward.

Any and all help is very much appreciated, thank you.

Perhaps community college could be your next step? Build up a record of better grades, get an idea of what you actually want to major in instead of engineering, and then transfer somewhere.