<p>Great suggestions, Vertigo! I’m bookmarking these for my son, whose dorm room looks like Francie12’s son.</p>
<p>ihs, so funny about the origami, my younger son took it up to keep himself awake during AP Biology. I had real doubts about how he was going to do in that course as he hadn’t done that well in regular bio, but he got an A and a 5 on the exam, so maybe you are onto something there!</p>
<p>When you are going through tons of material at the end of a quarter/semester studying for finals, it does actually help a ton to be organized. That, and splitting up your paperwork by section helps keep you from carrying your entire semester’s pile of homework/notes to every class!</p>
<p>So there is a benefit from being organized.</p>
<p>I find the bit about having an in-class distraction ironic - my dad did that during meetings! Only he would scribble all over a piece of paper (as if he was taking notes). I’ve been known to do similar to my notes (albeit, in the form of drawing cars and stuff). Once during an English lecture my teacher walked by me, looked at my paper, and went on a tangent about that. Haha. XD</p>
<p>You do what you’ve got to do ;)</p>
<p>Vertigo, fantastic ideas! When my D was in HS, I tried and tried to get her to use your system of mapping everything out at the beginning of the semester on one calendar, and I might as well have been talking to a brick wall. But I guess it sunk in because she now uses that system in college, and it keeps her on track.</p>
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<p>Then I guess you’ll all be reading one day that my D has brokered world peace.</p>
<p>My S had taught himself to do very complex origami (think woolly mammoth, pegasus, unicorns & other complex critters); we had taught him when he was young to keep him distracted during football games, flights, and any time we wanted him to be quiet & engaged. It has been interesting that it has kept his attention as a 23 year old.</p>
<p>D sketches compulsively–during class. Her sketches are of varying qualities, depending on her mood, but her art teacher asked to enter one or more of the class “doodling” sketches into competitions. I guess she figured out early on that it is how she concentrates best.</p>
<p>I wonder if neuropsych testing could help D. She’s 21, but still has great difficulty getting organized. Heck, it might help me! I am far less organized than S & than I’d like to be & have been in the past.</p>
<p>Great suggestions by Vertigo & many I’ve made to D. She has used a planner for a brief bit & then stops. She has never been good about using a calendar & neither chilo uses a watch (just check their cell phones for the time).</p>
<p>For all of us with kids entering college in the fall, I wonder if these two tactics might help:
- Bring very little stuff to college (I’m considering allowing my daughter to organize a yard sale from her stuff and our whole house and keep the proceeds for college spending money)
- Keep emphasizing that it is inconsiderate to one’s roommate to have everything a mess
- Solicit their ideas now on whether to use paper or electronic planners, how to keep track of assignments, etc. I have always told my kids that college in some ways is easier than previous school because there is a syllabus at the beginning of the term and that is it - no surprises - no sudden assignments. But we can solicit their ideas on how to integrate the disparate syllabi into one schedule and how to do project management. I keep emphasizing now - one hour of study per subject per day, outside of class time.</p>
<p>If I arrived at my kid’s room just after finals and it WASN’T a mess, I would think that something was wrong.</p>
<p>If the kid is cleaning when he should be cramming for finals, he’s got his priorities inverted.</p>
<p>As for poor organization, it may be part of the reason for the disappointing grades. If it is, maybe the use of online reminders would help. I am scatterbrained myself, but I am dealing with things much better now that my life basically lives in my laptop (meaning that I cannot lose things unless I lose the computer). I rely very much on the online calendar in my gmail. I have it send me e-mail reminders of everything – not just appointments or deadlines – everything. Every morning, I wake up to a list in my e-mail of what I need to do that day, and I make sure those messages stay marked as unread until I’ve accomplished whatever it is.</p>
<p>Who needs a memory when you have technology?</p>
<p>This sort of thing might work even better for a young person because they are so technologically savvy. </p>
<p>But poor organization may not be the problem. College requires a degree of independence in study skills that many kids don’t have. It also makes a lot of demands on students in terms of writing. Some students may also find that their high school didn’t prepare them adequately in some subjects. If they’re core subjects like math, that could be a problem. In addition, it can be difficult to transition to a system where your grade for the semester is averaged from only a few tests and assignments instead of many, and where you have to take the extra step of going to office hours (rather than asking questions in class) if you are confused about something.</p>
<p>Your son’s academic struggles could be due to a lot of things, not necessarily organization.</p>
<p>My D followed Vertigos lead–only she wore her keys on a lanyard around her neck.
Her planner (never had one until college) never left her side. A big white board calendar went up on the wall in her apartment and not only her schedule but everyone elses was on it too (so they could keep track of one another). Her room was still a disaster but her academic life was much easier.</p>
<p>OP,
First I have heard from so many who had kids like yours “an almost effortless straight A student” that kids have hardest times at college. I do not believe that organizational problem is holding him back! He did not have a chance to develop hard work ethic in HS. Those who had to work their b–ts off for their A’s in HS are having easier adjustment periods in college, just continuing doing what they have been doing in HS.<br>
In regard to your concern about messy room, you can only mildly suggest that it might be benefitial for him to have things in order. You also can try to clean his room with him but only if you feel that he is positive about it. It is very long process to turn around messy person into a neat one or any acceptable level semi-organized. However, I strongly believe that while it bothers you, most likely his mess does not bother your S. at all and does not affect his grades. He just needs to adjust his working habits to go back to his straight "A"s if this is a goal.</p>
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<p>So funny. Not my daughter, though. As I watch the tornado footage (And I am not trying to be flip here; I have great sympathy for those who are suffering), I am reminded of the way my daughter keeps her room. I have never been one to keep things in perfect order; however, I always had some shame and didn’t want others to see what I slob I was. DD does not seem to care what others think, and has even commented about how her BF likes to clean. Aaaaargh.</p>
<p>DD’s habits do not affect her grades. But I will say that I am shocked that she can keep what she needs to do in order.</p>
<p>And our school district made the kids use planners starting in about fourth grade. That was a huge waste of money for both of my kids.</p>
<p>BTW,
We have done searching for apartment as D. is moving to start at Grad. School in few weeks. I have seen many with tenants still living there. Most messy ones were girls’. The most impressive, very neat studio that even looked expansive at cheaper apartment building because of how neat this studio was, had boy living in it. Aterwards, I got impression that boys tend to be much neater than girls in general.</p>
<p>Another point, my D. has always used planners, starting from…She would not survive otherwise with her extremely busy life. Nobody, including her pre-med advisor at college could comprehend how she was capable to be engaged in that many activities, having very challenging major and completely unrelated minor and maintain requirement of very high GPA needed to apply to Med. School. The answer - her life has been extremely busy since she was 5 years old by her own choice too. She also has developed hard working attitude going to challenging private schools all years k - 12. She is much better at organizing her time than organizing her things, but we are working on it. It takes time.</p>
<p>In our family, our S is the neatest of all of us. He bought a Roomba electronic vacuum for his apartment & has it scheduled to run regularly. He spent his free time while he was waiting for his security clearance & job to start decluttering our & my folks homes. He is extrenmely bright and really likes things well organized. His bedroom looks like a model home/room and is the neatest in our house. Even in the midst of studying, exams and projects, he is able to maintain decent order & makes things even tidier when he has more time & energy. He left his room immaculate and is able to tell us where to find things he wants us to send up to him.</p>
<p>D on the other hand has never been great at organizing but is extremely artistic and able to function quite well in chaos. We saw her apartment & it didn’t appear that she contributed much more to the mess she lives in than the other 3 girls that share the 2 bedroom place. They’re all happy with one another & getting respectable grades, so we’re all OK with it.</p>
<p>^Generally all artistic people require some degree of chaos to be creative. If you think about it, an order is not very creative thing. My son is a good artist, he ended up being Graphic designer. I just cannot picture him maintaining things in neat fashion, it sounds too restrictive, not very creative.
I myself cannot live in cluttered environment. My idea of cozy place is semi-empty room with lots of pictures on the walls and live potted plants. I would get rid of most in my house if was up to me.<br>
People are just different. However, work habits are different issue than preferences for surroundings.</p>